(F4M) Hello Hello! :)
I am an adult female over 30. I’ve been rping for more than 15 years.I prefer turn-based text roleplay in chatrooms. I am searching for a partner for a thread for LoTRs roleplay.
Specifically, Is there anyone that would like to play Thranduil, the Elven King?
Some have mentioned they were not comfortable to play him, but if you saw the movies, you have a basic understanding of who he is. Then you make him your own character. I need someone to play him because I have a storyline surrounding the return of his wife. He thought she was dead... surprise! :) Should make for some great roleplay and can last quite a while with lots of twists and turns. Eventually, I want them together, but can be fun weaving ups and downs in the story to get then there.
The time will be in the 4th age of Middle Earth, after the fall of Sauron.(we can discuss this, I am open to ideas)
Please have a few years roleplaying experience, be over 25 (or that maturity level :) )
Also, just being up front, I am not looking for a relationship outside of the roleplaying and I am not interested in smut or adult interactions. If it gets to that we do not act it out, we just imply that it happened.
I am a serious player and looking for someone of the same mindset. I hope you are available a few times a week, or at least available to respond that often, then at least once or twice a week, live while we are both online playing! :)
I have a room on Discord, so we can practice some Rp to see if our styles mess.I even have a website to inform you about my idea and about my character.
Please be in the United States. I am in the EST, so UK times are problematic. :)
I know you are out there! This will be so much fun! DM me.

I feel like my girlfriend doesn't have feelings for me anymore. We're a long distance relationship because she had to mive to another city after 3 months of us datibg . For the past 4 months i keep having the feeling like she's ignoring my texts and calls. At first i thought it was because of school and it was keeping her busy, but now? We're both on summer break and have more free time than before. I had the same feeling last year when she was spending more time with another friend and whenever I asked her if she wants to call or play video games together she would always say "sorry i can't im playing with Z(initial of her friends name), maybe another day" And i would always see them on discord in the same call watching a movie on stream. I was pretty jealous back then but when i gathered up the courage to ask her if she lost feelings for me she said she didn't and i believed her as i love her so much. After maybe 3 months she and that friend got into a fight and I was the only one there for her. I don't even remember why they fought because i was more concerned about how she's feeling, if she's alright or how is her mental state right now. I'll go back to the original topic sorry. We've both been on summer break for almost a month. I thought that since we both have more free time and aren't stressed with school anymore we could spend time together on calls or playinh video games. But whenever i ask her she replies after maybe 5 hours or at 2am and says that she was playing a game or that she didn't see my message. Look i understand that we both have our lives and can't stay 24/7 on the phone/pc but sometimes i just want to talk to her nothing much. I'm also scared because I know her attraction to men is still there as she's bi and i keep thinkibg that maybe she found someone else as we're distance,i know this sounds very dumb but idek how to put this into the right words since it's a longer story so im sorry.

Decided to do some testing using different Key Passives on my druid.
Up to this point i've been using Wind SheaLightning Storm as my GeneratoSpender.
First i tested Nature's Fury to see what exactly would happen and everything worked as expected. With Nature's Fury allocated, if you cast Wind Shear you have a 20% chance to proc Earth Spike. Likewise, Lightning Storm has a 20% chance to proc Landslide. And Hurricane has a 20% chance to proc Boulder. Etc.
For anyone who's curious, the damage of the triggered skill depends on the rank of the skill. So if you have no skill points allocated in say Landslide and it tirggers off of Lightning Storm it will default to (i assume) a level 1 Landslide. I say i assume, because i'm not sure if there's a Level 0 Landslide. I didn't test this. But i did test what happens if i put 5 points into Landlside versus 0. And sure enough the Level 5 Landslide did more damage when it was triggered by Lightning Storm.
Next i wanted to test Perfect Storm.
This is where the weird shit happens. I checked my Spirit, and then cast one singular Wind Shear versus a normal mob. I generated 14 spirit. Wtf? That's not right. I was not using Wild Wind Shear or the Abundance passives and Wind Shear generates 12 by default. Perfect Storm should add 1 spirit to the default 12 and generate 13.
I ran the same test again. I attacked a normal mob once... and this time i generated just 12 spirit. I have no idea what is going on.
I try it again and now i'm finally generating 13 spirit. I try this several more times and now i'm sometimes generating 12 spirit and other times generating 13 spirit. I honestly have no idea why or how this works. If i unallocate Perfect Storm i only generate 12 spirit, consistenly. But when i have Perfect Storm allocated it seems to randomly give me either 12 or 13.
Whatever, on to the next test. Lightning Storm. Lightning Storm costs 15 Spirit per cast. That means that while i have Perfect Storm it should only cost 14 spirit. I cast Lightning Storm on a normal mob and it costs 15 spirit. I do this again and again and each time it costs exactly 15 spirit. So for some reason it seems Lightning Storm, which is a Storm Skill, does not benefit from the Perfect Storm trait that causes all Storm spell casts to grant 1 spirit.
At first i thought well maybe the operative word in all of this is "cast". Maybe Perfect Storm isn't supposed to work with Lightning Storm because Lightning Storm is a "channelled" ability. But then i checked the text on the Nature's Fury key passive. And Nature's Fury reads: "casting a storm skill has a 20% chance to trigger a free Earth skill of the same category." So if Lightning Storm can trigger Landslide when i have Nature's Fury that is clear evidence that channelling Lightning Storm still counts as casting a spell.
To be sure, i tested several other Storm Spells: Hurricane, Cyclone Armor, and Tornado. None of these skills seem to work with Perfect Storm - at least not the part of the Key Passive which is supposed to grant 1 spirit per cast. I didn't test the increased damage versus vulnerable, immobilized, or slowed enemies however, and that might still work with them.
Lastly i checked Storm Strike. And as you might expect Storm Strike works exactly like Wind Shear with Perfect Storm. Storm Strike generates 14 spirit by default, so with Perfect Storm it should generate 15. But it doesn't, at least not consistently. Sometimes it will generate just 14, and other times it will generate 15 spirit.
I don't get it. I can't explain it. But clearly these skills and passives are not working as intended. This makes me wonder what else in this game isn't working as intended...

Chapter 1 Prev Next
It is the 4,625th day of Awakening.
I am afraid.
The Elders tell us that all will be well, that the Record we are creating is merely educational — but I can feel in the Firmament that there is a great change coming. I do not know what that change is, but I fear it will spell the end of everything I hold dear, and I am afraid.
Perhaps this is irrational of me. I have little evidence to support these thoughts. The Seers have sounded no alarms, and our people are all healthy. My two sons flourish in their classes. They excel with the Firmament, creating wonders previously unheard of. Perhaps the fear I feel now is simply the fear of an old woman, and yet...
Every day, the trees seem a little more dead. Every day, the sky loses a little more color. I have been to the Healers, and I have been told that my eyes are fine; all three of them are perfectly functional.
I do not know what I am seeing. I do not know why I am the only person that sees it. The Awakening could be the cause, and yet I show no other signs of being Awakened. My Firmament levels remain stable, and there is no hint of a phase-shift or any of the associated phenomena. I have to assume what I feel is mere paranoia, and yet...
And yet.
Only time will tell.
—
It is the 4,670th day of Awakening.
I have begun to track the color-loss phenomenon. Unfortunately, objective measurement proves impossible — luminal scans exhibit the same loss of color as the objects they depict, making them unreliable, and my own memory is hardly an objective means of measurement.
What I have discovered, however, is that this color loss appears to correlate directly with properties that are objectively measurable. Identifying the property that is affected is hardly trivial, but I've been able to isolate a few undeniable ones that even our best Seers cannot explain.
Which means they have to take me seriously. I have been promoted to Seer myself, though the particular means through which I am able to observe this phenomenon is still unknown. It is one of our primary research objectives
I am... still afraid. But I am also excited. I may contribute to one of the biggest discoveries of our lifetimes. My sons are proud of me, and both are applying to work on this project with me. I am proud of them too, although I have not said it. They have grown into fine young men.
—
It is the 4,700th day of Awakening.
The Record is still crucial, I am told, though the Elders do not explain why. I do not mind — there is something soothing about inscribing my thoughts into the stone. The Firmament hums as it wears through each layer, creating a resonance I have not encountered before; I wonder if the material for this stone is special.
We have made... a limited amount of progress in understanding the color-loss phenomenon. It does appear that the scope of it is limited. It does not extend outside our city. For me, at least, there is a clear line beyond which the world is bright and vibrant; I had almost forgotten how beautiful a world full of color is.
Everyone I speak to insists the world they live in remains just as vibrant, but they can no longer deny that things have changed. Formerly durable objects are breaking far more frequently, and our technology is not as reliable as it should be. Some among us have called for an evacuation of the city, though the Elders and most of the Seers think this is foolish.
I do not know where I stand on the matter. I think I may apply for leave, however. I would like to see the flowers outside the city in full bloom; I hear they are especially beautiful in the light of our moons, when both of them are full.
—
It is the 4,730th day of Awakening.
I am, once more, afraid.
We cannot evacuate. It is uncertain the exact moment this happened, but it appears that a boundary has been established around our city — a boundary that matches the same invisible line only I can see, where the world of color splits from the world without. We cannot leave, and we cannot make contact with the world outside. The Elders have long ceased to respond to us, even before the boundary appeared, and I wonder if they perhaps knew that this might happen.
It is suspicious that not a single one of them remains in the city.
The Seers that remain are divided. Many of us wish to search for a solution to break this barrier so that we may escape. Our home is crumbling around us. Our buildings can no longer stand tall. They sag on weakened supports that threaten to collapse. Our windows no longer let in the light, and our mirrors no longer reflect our forms.
There are those among the Seers that believe we simply need to adapt. We can find new materials that have been less affected by the Change and build a new world around it. They are not incorrect, but to get the population to give up their homes...
It will be a hard task to bear.
I do not know why I continue using the Record. I feel the Elders have betrayed us, and I am not the only one among the Seers that believe this. But if nothing else, I wish for my words to live on, and for my love for my sons to live on.
They are both good men. I wish they were not trapped here with me.
I wish I could see the flowers again.
—
It is the 4,800th day of Awakening.
We have made no progress, and our supplies have dwindled; our crops no longer grow properly. Others report that they have glimpsed, in passing, the world that I see — in the moments just after dawn, when the sun peeks over the horizon and casts its rays over the city. For a fraction of a second, they see a city filled with gray, one that has lost all color and vibrancy.
It is the world I have been living in. It is... difficult. I make regular trips to the edge of the city to gaze into the forests that surround us. It is a reminder of what the world should look like.
I am thinking I will build a home there. At least that way, I will see the world of color every morning. I may not be able to touch it, but perhaps that will be enough.
—
It is the 4,900th day of Awakening.
A hundred days have passed since the last Record. The decay has grown exponentially — we are no longer able to see outside our city. A pitch-black darkness surrounds us. Everything within, however, remains perfectly lit. The Seers are baffled, and the citizens are doing their best to contain their panic.
My sons have taken on leadership roles in the crisis. I could not be more proud of them. The elder, Juri, now helps to break up the conflicts that have been erupting more frequently between our people. Tensions are high, and I cannot blame them.
The younger, Yarun, has learned medical Firmament techniques, and applies them to healing and preventing the spread of disease. He is a kind man — I have seen him more than once, both as his patient and as his mother.
They both seem so tired, but so determined. I wish their lives could be more than this.
—
Breakthrough.
It is the 5,000th day of Awakening, and we have discovered the source of this.
It is a Firmament phenomenon, although this knowledge is nothing new. Strange types of Firmament are common, and it is the only thing that could be responsible for such a widespread change. What is less common is for one type of Firmament to be this insidious.
A fellow Seer, Reysha, was the one to identify the particular phase of Firmament. Because I was the first to identify this phenomenon, she theorized that I was especially sensitive to the Firmament that was causing all this; again, nothing new, but nothing we could work with.
But Reysha took it a step further. There is a pattern of Firmament fluctuation within me that appears to respond to changes to Color Drain Firmament, as we have come to call it. She isolated the fluctuation, then inverted it, and created a sample of Firmament that appears to drain all color within it.
With this, we can locate the source. Our Firmament sensors indicate there is something underneath the city emanating this Color Drain Firmament. The expedition begins tomorrow, and I will be on the team, as I am the only one that can sense dangerous changes in this Firmament.
I am... still afraid. But I am excited. I have not seen color for many days, and it seems there may be hope at the end of this nightmare.
—
It is the 5,002nd day of Awakening.
The expedition failed. There are creatures underneath the city that the Seer team was not prepared to fight. We have lost two of our number.
Uzar and Zenith. May your names be remembered.
We will bring both Juri and Yarun on our next attempt. I hesitate to bring them into danger so quickly, especially when Juri has so recently bonded... I am sure Varus will understand. The stakes are high, and he is no fool.
—
It is the 5,004th day of Awakening.
Varus and Juri make an incredible team. I would be ashamed for not including Varus in the expedition to begin with, were it not for the fact that I did not know he could fight. With his assistance, the creatures within our sewers were no match, and Yarun was able to identify and counter many of the traps that threatened to consume us.
It is strange. The sewers beneath our city no longer match the plans that are on record. There are dead ends where there should not be any, and areas where the brick appears to have grown into the dirt. There is something about this that is almost... root-like.
No coincidence, then, that housed in the center of all these Firmament fluctuations appears to be a large, Firmament-imbued tree. Its branches dig into the walls of our sewers, and its roots fade into brick and concrete as they merge with the floor.
I do not know what to make of this, and neither do the others. Reysha and a number of the other Seers are analyzing it as I make this Record. We have sealed it off in a containment unit, but the barrier has not dissipated, nor have the colors returned — Color Drain Firmament is more virulent than expected.
I fear there are more questions now than ever before.
—
It is the 5,010th day of Awakening.
The rogue Firmament has been partially contained, though the process was difficult. We can see the sun and the stars again for the first time in almost a year. There is weeping in the streets. Hope, though small, rises once again.
There remains no sign of outside assistance. No messengers have come to our city borders, to see what has happened to us. No family members, demanding to see their mothers and fathers, their brothers and sisters. It is strange — our people are not so easily cowed. Only the Elders could accomplish isolation to this degree, and I cannot fathom why they would.
It is no matter. We continue to explore the Underground — the root system expands every day, and more and more of us need to be recruited to fight against the color-oozes, lest they break into the city and wreak havoc. Juri and Varus are heading the recruitment efforts, assigning quests to those brave enough to delve.
We have discovered more of the trees. There is no singular source, which explains why we cannot completely contain the effect; more of them grow by the day. Cutting one down lessens the effect, but there are too many, and they are constantly growing. The efforts to establish Delve teams are of great assistance, but...
I do not know. The running theory is that there is a singular source at the center of a complex root-network. A single source is our greatest hope. It is something we can target and destroy, so long as we can find it.
I only hope that we do.
—
It is the 5,020th day of Awakening.
What hope has grown has begun to wither. There is little to report, so I will use this Record to speak of my personal matters. I hope if this Record is found, it will honor the memories of those I love.
Varus has grown to be a part of the family. Yarun looks up to him, I think — he has begun to train his own combat skills, while developing his talents with medical Firmament.
It hurts my heart that our once-proud city has become a battleground where we must fight to survive. But if we must fight, then I am glad to be fighting amongst the most amazing people I know.
Let my children be remembered for more than their talents. Let Juri be remembered for his love for knitting, though he lacks the talent; Varus wears his sweaters anyway, overlarge and badly put-together they might be. Let Yarun be remembered for his love for books — of adventures and exploration, and his wish to see the stars.
Let Varus be remembered for the joy he finds in painting. He has lost the most, perhaps, in this world we now live in. But he still paints, finding beauty in gray and monochrome, putting together the shades like a masterwork craftsman.
This may be my final entry. There is little space left in the Record. Tomorrow, we dive once more Underground, and this time we will not leave until we find the source. The city's supplies are dwindling, and we cannot afford to hold out any longer.
If there are no further entries, assume that we have failed.
—
I stare for a moment after I'm done parsing all the text on the obelisk. It's written in a small, tiny script, burned into the stone with Firmament I don't recognize — the stone itself is remarkable, though I'm not able to sense it with any particular fidelity in the time-stopped world of an Inspiration.
Speaking of which...
Gheraa's voice sounds behind me, tired and amused. "This is abuse of the Interface, you know," he says. "Inspirations do not exist so you can stop time and read."
"Didn't agree to your terms of service, so I don't particularly care," I say dryly. "That's what happens when you drag people into deadly Trials."
I finally turn around to face Gheraa — and abruptly stop. He looks... beaten up. The golden lines that trail down his cobalt-blue skin flicker with dark-brown stains, and the smile he gives me is bruised and weak.
I stare for a moment, speechless, before I finally find the words to speak. "What happened to you?"
Chapter 1 Prev Next
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Author's Note: Lore! This chapter's chunkier than the usual ones. Fun to write, though.
RoyalRoad Patreon (on chapter 51, 54 before the end of the weekend)

I (22F) have a (21M) bf, for context I’m from a different country, he’s American, we met in college, I live off compus in a house with people that can be dirty sometimes, its a rented house. My bf was amazing in the beginning, but now he keeps making comments about me that are really hurtful, he also allows his friends to make fun of me even after I told him all of this bother me and upset me. Here are a few of the comments: -Said that I was a maid to his mom after telling her im the only one that cleans in my house. -Tells me to stop calling my house, my house, bc its a rental, I do not own property as for now, but its common for me to use the wording “my house” in sentences, its easier than explaining that I rent a house with people blablabla… -Makes fun of me in front of friends and family about how I come from a third world country -Allows his friends to make fun of me, we have classes together and as soon as I make a mistake in class I receive messages from my bf about how stupid my mistake was, he knows about it bc his friends texted him my mistakes immediately after it happens. We currently are not talking bc of one mean comment that broke the straw of the camels back, he has not apologized for the ones I mentioned and does not seem to comprehend why they upset me. Let me know if I’m wrong for being upset over this subject?

Because I don’t mean it.
Every so often, my husband will ask me to tell him that I love him. And every time, I feel myself physically getting sick. The blood drains from my face. I feel my mouth twist into a frown as I visibly become upset. I hate lying or having to pretend. I spend a good amount of time dancing around the matter, cracking jokes, doing anything to try and change the topic. But he’s more stubborn than I am, and I can only resist his incessant pleading for so long. When I say those dreaded three words, it makes me feel awful because for him it means so much, whereas it never crosses my mind to tell him such things—I just don’t feel it.
Today we were cuddling when he dropped the infamous request on me again. This time, after I finally relented after a five-minute-long guilt trip (that I probably deserve), he instantly smiled, then got up and left. I was so relieved—sometimes just telling him is enough to satisfy him, but other times he’ll start going on about how I never tell him that I love him. I always feel extremely guilty, and probably rightfully so—he constantly tells me how much he loves me and is always the one who wants to cuddle or kiss; meanwhile, even though I adore him and I can confidently say he’s my best friend, I have not felt what I consider to be “love” for him in a long, long time. For him to have to practically beg me now and then to at least make him feel like I love him must be fucking horrible, and I don’t know how to fix this whole situation.
“Fake it ‘till you make it” doesn’t work for me; I simply cannot pretend to be someone I’m not or feel things I just don’t, and it just makes me feel gross to try and pass it off as genuine. He knows this, and yet insists that I tell him anyway so that he at least has the illusion of reciprocated love, I guess. We cannot just break up either (not that he would want to, anyway). While my days of being intensely in love with him are long gone, I still deeply care for and value him. But I would be lying if I said I want him nearly half as much as he seems to want me. The spark between us is gone, at least on my end. We—no, I, have fallen out of love, and it’s becoming one of the biggest sources of stress in my life.
I cannot leave, nor can I bring myself to tell my husband that I love him without a guilty conscience plaguing my mind. I vaguely remember the days when I was so into him that I was more willing to step out of my comfort zone to do all those things that I never really liked but that he loved, like holding hands or using terms of endearment. I’ve already decided that if we ever break up, I’m going to enjoy being single and not having anyone expect me to do things that most people consider “romantic” for a good, long while. Above all, I feel awful for my husband, who I suspect tries to hide how much my lack of affection affects him. Sometimes I secretly hope he leaves me the first chance he gets because he definitely deserves better. Until then, I will just have to live with the fact that I hate telling my husband that I love him.

So I had a second date last night with this really beautiful girl and I think things went pretty well. We got some drinks at this rooftop bar and talked about all sorts of stuff, we both did some trauma dumping and it felt really comfortable talking to her.
We went to another place and had a couple more drinks and talked and listened to the band and I had my arm around her in the booth. I drove her back to where she was parked and took a detour so I could talk to her for longer (she definitely noticed and called me out on it in a cute way) and then before she left she gave me a hug goodbye (no kiss)
She had said she had a busy weekend because she’s supposed to hang out with her friends and didn’t know her work schedule but that we would schedule something.
I’ve been texting her on and off today but my brain is driving me fucking nuts. I really wanna see her again and I definitely felt a connection but the anxiety of possibly having messed things up won’t go away.
Any kind words or advice would be appreciated Im fuckin struggling

Listen, we're in a whacky situation here. You just vanished and I've been doing my own thing. I don't think very positive things about you these days. It's always difficult, everything is. You continually surprised me with doing more and more messed up things. I wish you hadn't decided to throw it all away. I've got the perspective now, you treated me like shit for a very long time. I hope you can understand that. I had faith in what you could become, and it was more faith than you deserved. To fix our relationship would've been really easy. I'm sure everyone you know and yourself is saying the Oh it wasn't meant to be shit, I don't care. It could've worked out, if you just grew up a bit. You'll be very offended by a lot of this, but if you could just listen for once you might learn something. And listening isn't just angry silence, that's just you trying to talk over me without saying anything. If you actually tried to think about my words maybe you'd learn something. But I know you aren't super great at thinking, your words not mine. Man, you're so frustratingly arrogant. In the last letters I talked about you dipping out of my party because of a feeling you got. I was already crying that everyone was cancelling and being shitty about it, and then several days before you just said you wouldn't go. You sat at home. I'm glad this is a letter because this would be the part where you'd start screaming the reasons why you wanted to skip out of the holiday, but I remember that, ok? I remember everything, remember? Maybe, just maybe, it was stupid reasons. I asked if you had changed your mind, and you got offended. You said that it was stupid to think that you would change your mind about it. Well, it's because I had faith in you. I believed you were a good person and would decide not to hurt your boyfriend like that. Now it's 2023 and which part do you care about, that you hurt your boyfriend or that you joined everyone else that year in protesting the holiday? Are you proud of your decision? Are you proud that you forgot about our trip that I kept talking about? Are you proud that you got to do a Twilight marathon on my birthday while I waited for you to show up?
Well, here we are in the present. The truth is that if I could go back and be in a relationship with that girl from the beginning, I would. You were happy and you smiled and we made lots of silly jokes. Most of our relationship problems in the beginning were more my fault I admit. But they were just stupid little fights. Later it was a nasty festering mess. I couldn't trust you and didn't believe you. So if that sadistic fantasy in my head that most people get in this situation of you coming to me and begging me to take you back, I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. You disrespected me to all our friends. You've tried to ruin my life, and you still think you're the good guy. I was suicidal and you even tried to push me off the edge. I don't know if it's that silly, childish, low IQ bs you do in the moment that destroys your life or something sinister. If I did do it, you'd get all the attention again wouldn't you? You'd cry as if you didn't make it happen and say that you still loved me even though you don't, and everyone would coddle you and pray for you. Ain't that just the way. Well congratulations to you old friend, because you've won your game. I don't think you're terribly smart for that because I didn't even consent to playing. You've got all the friends and I've got none, you control the narrative and everyone loves you and hates me. Your life is so much more promising than mine. You're having so much fun and I'm here, eight months later, posting this on Reddit to get absolutely no response. Such a loser to waste my time with that, right?
Well I hear you still post about me. I can only speculate as to what it is about really. There's fantasies about what it may be, none of them terribly similar. But if I run into you again, if you try to talk to me, if you bring in all that negative shit, remember that. I didn't consent to the game. You're infinitely better at all the drama than I am and you have my permission, despite not needing it, to feel as superior as you want about it. I didn't have drama in school, I don't have a string of exes, I don't have a large friend group with a nasty reputation like you do. You should feel good about yourself because you win every time. I gave you so much intimate information about me and you've used it against me before and probably still do and will keep doing it. As much as I'd like to get you to stop sharing details about me, I really can't do that. All I can do is feel bad that I shared them with you, and I do feel bad pretty frequently. Like I said before, it's my fault for opening up.
You think that I say cruel things to you to make you feel bad, and that I shit on myself to feign some sympathy. I'm not surprised because even after 3 years you don't know anything about me. This is how I talk to myself. So since you're probably not gonna see this, I can feel free to share some of that negativity back on you can't I. You're like, really really dumb. I call myself dumb every day and I still think you're really dumb. I've been into politics since middle school and I still think I'm dumb, I watched you go from knowing literally nothing to thinking your opinions were God. You fought with me on them even. That's fine, like I said I am probably wrong about a lot of things but I wish you could've shared some of that unearned ego with me and maybe I could be doing more to earn it. You're a racist and a sexist and the epitome of privelage, and the fact that you pretend to be a saint makes you that much more disgusting. Yeah I thought you were pretty when you were my gf but not really objectively. I was looking for more than just looks and I somehow believed you could provide me with something else. That's probably why you tried to push being so cuddly and caring because you essentially have nothing else to provide. Like me, you're a real loser. You've got the facial structure of spiderus with SpongeBob features and the fact that you hop on TikTok to post thirst traps of yourself to try and get revenge on me and say that I missed out is legitimately the funniest concept to me. Even in my cruelest now I won't say you're super ugly, but you keep destroying yourself and posting your body and shit that I would think you'd understand that you shouldn't do. You were that much more attractive to me when you respected yourself.
Well I'll switch back to the more realistic things that I'd say in an actual conversation. I'm sorry that you're such a masochist that you felt that you should break up a 3 year relationship because of a text message. Then you treated me like every other ex, all those guys who did shitty things to you, stupid little high school romances, I'm just the same to you huh. That makes me wonder if they weren't so bad, almost makes me want to hang out with those guys. I know you're probably talking to my ""Ex"" about how awful I am. So why shouldn't I? It makes me not trust you and anything you say. It makes me not respect your choices or value your opinions. You were anxious that I was just gonna hurt you for all those years, and you're so fucking satisfied right now because you fulfilled your prophecy yourself. I know you're stupidly flailing about this world trying to figure things out while being nervous and insecure because I'm doing the same, but this time you hurt another human being because being genuinely happy was too hard for you. All you had to do was grow up, be happy. Now if the breakup was some ploy to get me to grow up faster you did it, I'm so much more than I ever was before now. I have a sneaking suspicion you're the same but worse, just coping mechanisms and cognitive dissonance into one person. In fact I am grown up enough now to know you're not worth any of my time. I know that now most of our problems were made worse by me. I guess long story short I hope you're happy. You're not getting any more from me. You've made me anxious to be perceived, to be known, to be successful because of you showing up to fuck my life over again. Well I won't let that happen because you're not worth any of it, and you weren't worth my three years. But I wouldn't do it over if I could. The only thing I would've changed is that when you broke up with me I would've just said ok and left your house and never talked to you again.

I was under the impression that fornication might have just meant prostitution and other illicit sex-related things mentioned in the law of Leviticus (incest, adultery, etc). This kind of stunned me. These are 3 instances where fornication has been translated in a way to refer to premarital sex. (Gregory and Athanasius were both born in the 4th century A.D. (Yes, I have read Kyle Harper's paper "Porneia: The Making of a Christian Sexual Norm". He didn't use any of these quotes, though he did quote something that Gregory of Nyssa had said.)
I don't have the text in its original Greek to see if "fornication" was translated from "porneia" or some variation of that word. If anyone can tell me where to find the original Greek, even if i have to buy it, that would be great. But in the Second Epistle from St. Athanasius, Canon XXVI says

"Fornication is neither marriage, nor the beginning of marriage. If it may be, it is better that they who have committed fornication together be parted; but if they be passionate lovers, let them not separate, for fear of what is worse."

St. Gregory of Nyssa had also (according to an English translation) referred to something called "simple fornication" twice in his Letter to Letoius.

"The involuntary deed is judged pardonable, but hardly commendable. I have said this to make it clear that because he has been involved in the taint of murder even if unwillingly, the canon declares him already contaminated by the defiling deed and expelled from the priestly grace. It was judged fitting that the same time of purification assigned to simple fornication also be assigned to those who have committed murder involuntarily. In this case too the will of the penitent is assessed, so that if his conversion proves credible, the number of years is not strictly observed and he is led through a shortened time to restoration with the church and to a participation in the Good."

and

"But raking through the ash of the body returned to dust and shifting the bones in the hope of finding some valuable buried along with them, this is condemned with the same sentence as simple fornication, according to the distinction set out in the foregoing discussion. The dispenser of course may shorten the time of the penalty fixed in the canons if he observes from his life the healing of the one undergoing treatment."

These 2 quotes were from a book called "Gregory of Nyssa: The Letters" by Anna M. Silvas.
The reason simple fornication is intriguing is because Thomas Aquinas wrote about it in Summa Theologica, and it was used to describe premarital sex. But he was born in 1225. Gregory of Nyssa was born in 335 AD, and Athanasius was born in 373 AD. I wasn't aware that the term "simple fornication" was distinguished from regular fornication that early on. What do you guys think of this? Did it happen any earlier than these 2 examples? If anyone knows where I can find the original Greek texts for these sources to confirm, that would be very helpful. It doesn't need to be a free source. Thank you!

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
For the past two years, Vell Harlan has been caught in the loop alongside his best friends, Lee and Harley, and with their help he’s been able to survive every disaster the universe has thrown at him. But as Vell enters his third year, Lee and Harley are entering their fourth (and final) year at the Einstein-Odinson College. With a ticking clock counting down, the trio must cut through the chaos of killer crickets, haunted phones, and naked sorcerers to try and solve some of the mysteries plaguing their lives -including why all these butterflies keep following Vell around...
[Chapter 1 (Book Three)][Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Out of the way, excuse us, sorry, coming through, make way,” Harley said, as she elbowed students out of the way, trying to carve a path through the crowded halls. “Don’t want to be rude be we also don’t want to incinerate you, literal hot potato coming through!”
The crowd parted for Harley, and Vell made his way through the cut, holding a long pair of tongs which were tightly clamped to a sizable metal container. The potato contained within burned so hot bystanders could feel the heat radiating from it, even through the shielded containment unit. In an attempt to create the hottest possible hot potato, the physics department had accidentally heated a surprisingly resilient tuber to within a few degrees of the Planck temperature, and now the loopers had to deal with it, fast. A task that might’ve been easier were the hallways not so damned crowded.
“Hey, excuse me, please scooch,” Harley said. “Hot stuff coming through, and I’m not talking about myself this time!”
Harley’s forceful personality pushed their way through one more hallway, and then they had a straight shot to the looper lair. Harley slammed the door open and Vell ran through, making a beeline for a complicated magical mechanism Lee and the others had been building. Vell dropped the containment unit within, and Lee activated the machine, bathing the potato in mountains of coolants and streams of frost magic. The clash of superheated potato and supercooled magic created a burst of steam that forced the loopers out of the room.
“At least it’s working,” Kim said. The burst of steam had fogged up the glass screen that made up her face, and she had to wipe her eyes clear. “Note to self: install windshield wipers.”
“I’ll get you hooked up,” Harley said. As the resident robotics expert, Harley was the point man for a lot of Kim’s upgrades. “But first, I have some bitching to do.”
The crowds swarming from classroom to classroom were still in full force, and Harley angrily gestured to several hordes of students crowding the quad.
“What the fuck is with all these students all of a sudden?”
“The school expanded over the summer,” Kim said. “Didn’t you notice?”
“I noticed,” Harley said. “I’m just wondering fucking why.”
“School got a big donation over the summer,” Kim said. She had stayed on campus over the summer and kept the Dean company, so she was privy to some of the finer details of the school’s renovation. “Couple million to build new dorms and sponsor more students than usual. It was Dean Lichman’s idea to devote some of that money to building non-human friendly dorms.”
“Huh. Guess someone wants to invest in the future of science,” Vell said.
“And I’m glad the dean chose to invest in making the school more accessible,” Lee said. “There’s a delightful gorgon in one of my hydrokinesis classes.”
“A gorgon?”
“Yes. I don’t like making eye contact anyway, so we get along swimmingly.”
“Neat!”
“Are we not assuming something fishy is going on here?” Hawke asked.
“What about diversity is fishy to you?”
“Not that- I don’t- okay, you guys know I’m all about the rich tapestry of life and its diverse people,” Hawke said. “I mean some random anonymous donation of millions of dollars. Dudes who donate that kind of money usually want the buildings named after them, or something.”
Most of the buildings on campus were named after whatever rich asshole had donated enough money to get his name put on a plaque, though few students acknowledged those names, preferring colloquial terms like The Cube or Brick Shithouse. The loopers took a quick look at the crowds scrambling around campus, running between aforementioned Cube and Brick Shithouse. While nothing about the new students themselves was suspicious, the sudden influx of them did raise some questions.
“God damn it, you might be right,” Harley sighed.
“I fail to see a sinister angle to all of this,” Lee said. “What does more students do to- oh, hold on, Vell has his thinking face on.”
The infamous forehead wrinkles of Vell’s “thinking face” were starting to deepen. He was up to three now, which usually meant some very serious thinking.
“Samson, you’re not in the new dorm, are you?”
“Nope. I’m in one of the older buildings,” he said. “I think my brother’s in one of the new ones, though.”
Much to Ibrahim’s chagrin, the twins had been assigned separate dorms and roommates. While Ibrahim was fighting a battle to get reassigned, Samson had quietly accepted the separation. Not living with Ibrahim made it a lot easier to lie to him about what Samson was doing all day. On a practical level, at least. Emotionally speaking, lying to his twin was as hard as ever.
“Maybe you can ask him if anything weird’s going on?” Hawke suggested.
“He hasn’t mentioned anything strange,” Samson said. “As far as he’s concerned, I’m the weird one.”
“It’s only been a few days,” Vell said. “Speaking from experience, any real weirdness tends to be concentrated around the end of the school year, like-”
Vell froze, and the wrinkles in his forehead faded, as the sound of approaching hoofbeats blasted any coherent thought out of his mind.
“Oh no,” Vell said. “No no no no no, please god no.”
“Vell Harlan!”
The nasally voice of a certain centaur filled the room. Vell would’ve rather had a knife in his ears than the sound of that voice.
“Orn,” he grumbled.
The chestnut-furred centaur trotted into view, with a look of disdain on his hairy face as he stared down at Vell. Another year apart had done nothing to dull Orn’s inexplicable hatred for Vell, apparently.
“Believe me, Harlan, I am no more eager to see you than you are to see me,” Orn said.
“Then why are you even here?” Vell demanded. “Can we not just avoid each other forever?”
“Unfortunately your mere existence obligates me to course-correct for the damage you do to all reality,” Orn said. “However, I am, in this moment, not here to fulfill that obligation.”
“Well then I’ll say it again,” Vell said. “Why are you here?”
“Because I am in the unfortunate position of owing you a debt,” Orn said. His hooves dragged along the ground for a moment anxiously. “The signatures you collected last year were apparently a motivating factor in this school becoming more accessible.”
“Oh right. That.”
Last year, Orn had sought signatures for a petition addressing the Einstein-Odinson campus’s lack of accommodation for non-humans. The petition had been meant entirely in Orn’s own self interest, and his entirely unpleasant, repellent, utterly disgusting and intolerably unlikable personality had prevented him from getting any signatures, but Vell had decided to take up the coincidentally good cause and collect signatures on Orn’s behalf. Vell had thought very little of it at the time, and even forgotten he’d done it until just now. He actively tried to repress most memories involving Orn.
“Since I regrettably owe my long-overdue presence here to you, I wish to do you a favor in turn and clean the slate between us so that I can go back to holding absolute moral, intellectual, physical, spiritual, and aesthetic superiority over you.”
“Off to a great start there, buddy,” Harley noted.
“Please hold your tongue, small whore,” Orn said. Lee briefly looked up to glare daggers at Orn. “I should inform you, Vell Harlan, that an anonymous source, apparently the benefactor of our new dorms construction, has been contacting residents of the newly built dorms.”
Vell raised an eyebrow and looked at his fellow loopers. That was very convenient timing.
“What about?”
“About you, for some reason,” Orn said. He couldn’t imagine a reason anyone would be interested in Vell Harlan for any reason beyond removing his stain from reality, but apparently someone out there was curious. “You, your group of ‘friends’ here, and any sensation of deja vu.”
The last few words traveled through the group of loopers like an electric shock. Vell looked to Lee and Harley and mouthed one word.
Kraid.
“Thanks Orn, we’re even, and great job, you really are smarter and stronger and better than me, I bow to your superiority,” Vell said. “Also please leave now and never talk to me again.”
“It will take more than that to-”
“Out!” Harley shouted, pointing towards the door.
“This is a public hallway, you can’t kick me out!”
“I can actually kick you,” Harley said. “And I will!”
Harley got her kicking foot ready, but Lee put a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.
“Harley. Equine legs are quite fragile.”
Harley begrudgingly lowered her kicking foot, but Lee shook her head.
“What I mean to say is, aim for the torso,” Lee said. There was an edge of sadism to her voice that even Orn could not ignore, and he cautiously backed away and out of sight.
“I can’t fucking believe that guy actually goes to school here,” Vell groaned. “Thanks for chasing him off.”
“Think nothing of it,” Lee said. “Now, there is something else we should discuss.”
“Right. Hope you’re up for more insanity, Samson, because things are about to get weirder.”
“Oh no.”
***
The mist created by the rapidly-cooling superhot potato had yet to clear, but the looper lair was the only secure place the loopers knew of to discuss such serious matters. The fog in the room should’ve given the tense discussion an air of mystery, but really it just made everything slightly damp.
“So. Kraid’s got an eye on new loopers.”
The dramatic events at the end of last year had revealed that Kraid was aware of the time loops, at least partially. While he didn’t retain any memories of the first loop, he was aware that Vell and the others did. While Vell recapped that, Samson clenched his fists.
“I thought you said anyone who learned about that goes insane?”
‘They do,” Vell insisted. “Kraid was already deranged.”
“The dude goes around buying babies from endangered species and eating them,” Harley said. Kraid was apparently a big fan of panda meat. It tasted terrible, but he just liked the idea of eating something adorable and endangered. “There’s something wrong somewhere in his head.”
“And now he’s fishing for loopers,” Vell said. “He paid to sponsor all these new students so a new looper would be in debt to him.”
“Good thing for us that he missed, then,” Kim noted. Samson was their only new looper this year, and he had no connections to Kraid.
“Yeah, I’m not really on board with the guy who eats baby orangutans,” Samson said. “No worries there.”
“The question remains, however, of what he hoped to accomplish,” Lee said. “Upon acquiring a looper in his employ, what did he hope to use them for? Whatever goal he had, I sincerely doubt he will stop pursuing it now.”
“With any luck, it’ll be impossible without a looper,” Vell said. “But he’s, uh, never really let things being impossible stop him before.”
“Unfortunately,” Lee sighed. Kraid was as brilliant as he was evil, and could find a way around even the most challenging obstacles. In time, perhaps, even the mystery of the campus time loops might crumble before him.
“Well he’s taken one massive loss already, so we got that going for us,” Harley said. Whatever else Kraid might have planned, not having a looper on his side was going to make it that much harder. “I think we can adjourn the meeting for now. Both because there’s not much else we can do right now and because all this humidity is giving me swamp ass.”
“Ha. Pathetic fleshy asses,” Kim said. “Stainless steel cheeks never have this problem.”
“Oh don’t pretend like your face isn’t fogging up, you robot bitch,” Harley said with a chuckle. “Come on, let’s get you a windshield wiper.”
“Please and thank you,” Kim said, before following Harley out of the room. Every other looper was glad to leave the overwhelmingly humid room as well. The thick cloud of steam and fog lingered long after they were gone, though it briefly parted as a mismatched woman moved through the mist.
“So that’s how it’s going to be,” Quenay said to herself. She was always delighted to see what new twists and turns the world could throw at Vell. Nothing too overwhelming this year, at least, which she liked.
It gave her plenty of room to throw some twists and turns of her own.

A bit shorter post about how Lynch seems to put seemingly unrelated scenes together in a way that is open to all sort of interpretations. Yet, if we watch carefully, he appears to guide us through to his intentions.
In P16, Richard was mysteriously burning away on top of a rock. There was a quick shot of his shadow cast against the smoke. This angle was used just once.
Something wrong with the legs.
There were two glaring inconsistencies in the shot. Firstly, even if Richard's legs had already sizzled away, they were still intact in his shadow. Secondly, Mr C should have been watching his agony on the hillside, yet there was no one there between the rock and the truck.
In P16 at 8:32, he was missing.
So then, in this one shot, there was something wrong with legs, and a man was missing.
Elsewhere in P7, back in Twin Peaks, Beverly Paige got home just as Nurse Madge was leaving the house. As the camera moved, the number of the house became briefly visible in the top right corner of the frame: 16832.
There's safety in numbers, I guess.

Beverly: "How is he?"

The nurse glanced quickly to her left, towards the house number.

Nurse Madge: "We had kind of a rough day."

Then, as she turned to leave, she took her time to reprimand Beverly.

Nurse Madge: "He's missing you!"

Inside, Tom Paige, apparently Beverly's husband, was in a wheelchair, ailing from an unknown suffering. Things didn't seem to be too good between the two. We only saw Tom this one time, and then he was gone from the story.
Something wrong with his legs, too.
If one is in a wheelchair, there is something wrong with their legs. Coincidentally, if we took the house number 16832 and contemplated the possibility whether it was meant to be used as a reference to episode P16 at 8:32, there was something wrong with someone else's legs: this was the shot of Richard's nonexistent legs appearing in his shadow while Mr C was missing. In a further connection between the scenes, just as Richard burnt, there were large burn marks in the fireplace right behind Tom.
Besides the apparent connection between Richard and Tom Paige, if these scenes were indeed meant to work together, we would have an actual major twist as well. With the nurse telling "he" was missing Beverly in front of 16832 and Mr C literally missing from the shot in P16 at 8:32, the surprising implication was that she was actually talking about Mr C. Whoever he really was, it was him who was missing Beverly - whoever she then really was.
Mr C pointed out to us by having him missing from the shot was probably used for another purpose as well. Just before the nurse mentioned them having had a kind of a "rough day", she glanced towards the numbers. Appropriately mishearing her words, the intention may have been to reveal that it was "rough Dale" they had had earlier. A similar likely play with the phrase was in P2 when Detective Macklay said Phyllis had had "a really rough day", followed by Mr C shooting her dead.
Elsewhere, "good day" seems to have been a similar covert reference to the "good Dale". The two Coopers.
Thus then, while it seems Tom and the nurse had had "rough Dale" pay Tom an unwelcome visit, in its own way explaining his current painful state in a wheelchair, Beverly appears to have been all too aware what was going on.

The original post can be found HERE. As of 0102 UTC it has 3.3k upvotes. This is in spite of it being atrociously written and having questionable content. An attempted translation can be found below. Capitalisation of certain words is non-negotiable.
The U.S. lost tanks, planes and good people in the Gulf War, but all you people talk about is how hundreds of Iraqi soldiers got buried alive in trenches by Americans driving tanks and armoured vehicles [requires citation].
I hate to break it to you, but if you really thought this counter-offensive was going to be a victory parade all the way to Crimea without a single tank loss, then you are just as cooked on the cope as the Vatniks who were making dinner reservations in Kyiv for 25th fevrier.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's none of my business what any of you do in your personal lives, but I believe it’s your duty to exercise credibility through the lens of non-credibility while active on NCD. I personally don't believe that expressing concern about the counter-offensive because of the destruction of one Leopard 2 and 11 Bradleys is befitting. Asking you to find "joy" in the "bad" of war would be idiotic, but remember that NCD provides many of us with respite, positivity and humour away from an otherwise serious subject. The Russian Army has not expanded its capabilities overnight; Ukraine is just conducting highly complicated and risky manoeuvres against well-prepared defensive positions.
The remainder of the original author's monologue could not be translated as it seems to violate NCD rule 5 (no politics).
The original text by u/augustro can be found below:

the US lost a bunch of tanks planes and good people in the gulf war but all you losers talk about is how a ton of iraqi kids got buried alive in trenches by americans driving fortified garbage trucks or whatever
i hate to break it to you but if you really thought this counteroffensive was gonna be a victory parade all the way to crimea without a single tank loss then you are just as cooked on the cope as the vatniks who were making dinner reservations in kyiv for fevrier 25
gentlemen, you might be a 35 year old ptsd-stricken former marine (honorable discharge) turned assistant manager at wendys who cries on their smoke breaks in your real lives, but while you’re active on this sub, it’s your god forsaken duty to be a MAN (gender neutral) and find JOY in the good AND the bad of war
i don’t wanna see a single one of you sweaty jittering little freaks in the comments of the 9th repost about that one lost leo asking if🥺it’s🥺gonna🥺be🥺okay . i don’t wanna see a single one of you discord kitten-orbiting losers referring to these tipsy tankies ambling through their ww2 ass trenches with their webbed feet and their grandpa’s mosins as “”competent”” (like rlly wtf?????)
either get a hold of yourselves or get your kamala 2020 bumper sticker having asses back to a hope pit like worldnews where you belong

​

My mom is pissed that I'm not talking to her family that refuses to talk to her for her at this point (sorry if that sentence didn't make sense)
She'll send me texts and tell me to send them to X person that refuses to speak with her and I just ignore it.
However, she was talking to me yesterday and bragged about how she knew just how to get her mother to answer. All she had to do was, exact words, "threaten to have the law up there to check on her and she calls in just a couple minutes. It works every time!" with no hint of self reflection. She knows that my grandmother is terrified of strange men due to a lot of trauma that's happened in her life, and keeps a pistol by her bed. She knows that my grandmother will pull that pistol on anyone coming into her house she doesn't recognize. At best she's trying to terrify her own mother as punishment for not talking to her, and at worst get her shot by a cop "defending himself"
She knows that if I heard grandmother had passed I'd tell her. I told her when another family member passed that she wasn't even technically related to, just so she wouldn't have this argument. But she thinks it's funny to be able to scare her dying mother into calling her whenever she wants. I have no doubt that should I ever go NC she'd do the same to me, using my history of mental illness that she caused as the justifier.

Me (20F) and my fiancé (20M) have been together since freshman year of high school and honestly he's been my second longest friendship. And in the last year he's been urging me to get screened for autism. I'm on mobile and tired to none of this will make sense.
I've always been a weird kid. I've had an insane obsession with Harry potter since pretty much birth. My mom took me to all the movies as they came out and read the books to me instead of little kids books. I know the story inside and out, backwards and forwards. Hell, I've started read the novels in French now too. Birthdays were harry potter themed, Halloween, etc. All of it harry potter. (Im a ravenclaw). Anyway this obsession carries to this day and honestly I've always thought it was normal. Everybody has their thing.
Other than the weird harry potter crap, I always had trouble with social cues. I still don't really understand sarcasm and don't make faces at me because idk what they mean. Not to mention negation iwhen speaking. Half the time I couldn't really understand the difference between yes and no. Idk how to word it but sometimes the way someone would answer a question, I would not no what they meant. like no in agreement or disagreement? Idk it makes sense to me, but i know what I'm saying is just gibberish.
Besides the weird obsession, I was ahead of the other kids and socially awkward. I did not talk unless my life depended on it, and I would often get in trouble being in my own world. I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school, so I just wrote that off. I also stimmed a lot, and I got bullied for it. I would hum this low not that would tickle my brain, but drive everyone crazy. I flicked my two middle fingers and would twist my legs in all sorts of knots. And when my hair was long, I'd grab it and flap it against my ears. Let's just say I was like fresh meat for bullies. It got to the point were I wouldn't talk at all in middle school, and I would whisper my orders to my mom up until I was 16.
And textures and clothing, oh God the textures. You could not put me in a turtle neck ever. I also thought thus was normal. Turtle necks are ugly anyways. I can't wear flannel that's too tight, and I can't touch cardboard if my nails are too long. And the sound of teeth grinding, or wet rubber, or even touching of balloons send me. I would break down and cry and whenever someone asks me what's wrong all I can say is "Im out of words or I dont know" because in the moment it feels like everything is wrong.
All of this I thought was normal, or at least my ADHD, which my therapist recommended I try to manage it with caffeine in the morning. (if you dont want meds, trust me it works). Every so often I'd say or do something, and my fiancé would say, "i think you may have autism." or something along those lines. He's even picked up that when things get to crazy, he just stops talking and gives me my earbuds so I can drown things out. He even unplug the cat fountain and lowers the lights. I don't even ask, he just does it. And by God does it help. When it's warm, he suggests I go swing in my hammock chair and he'll send me with a blankie. (literally the love of my life). He sat down with me recently and strongly suggested I go get screened. Idk what benefit knowing would be or if it's something that I can get help for. or even if I need help. I don't have a primary care doctor, so I scheduled a new patient appointment online. In the notes, I mentioned a screening.
Any thoughts???? I really just think it's my ADHD but I could be wrong. I was also diagnosed with some other mental health issues, but I don't think it's relevant here. But I also know ADHD and autism go hand in hand, like depression and anxiety. You got one, you might also have the other. idk I'm just lost and mildly nervous about the whole thing.
EDIT: I also had a rigid schedule before I was old enough to work part time. If I didn't shower at 6 and go to bed at 9 or example, I would lose my sh*t

Please use this thread to discuss the latest nightly builds.
If you aren't already using Firefox Nightly, you should join us on the wild side. We get the newest features first, and developers generally listen when we give feedback (since they are generally still working on the features, instead of hearing about it months later once it hits stable).
Nightly is an unstable testing and development platform (per Mozilla). Please have a backup strategy for your Firefox profile.
Download Firefox Nightly!
Don't reuse your old profile folder - Firefox Nightly uses different profiles than stable or beta by default, so you can run Nightly and other versions concurrently. You can use Firefox Sync to keep your settings in sync across release channels.

Things to try out in Nightly

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For context, I was diagnosed with cptsd last month. Childhood trauma, and I was almost k*lled by my ex husband. And I really struggle with instincts when it comes to romantic interests. Ignoring red flags? I don't even see the red flags. Trusting my instinct? My instinct cannot make up its own mind.
This guy (30M) and I (28F) have been talking for about 18 months. We met at my last job. He was really cute the way he started showing interest, getting little trinkets for my kids etc. He has never spoken a mean word to me. Always kind, sweet, understanding. Capable of self reflection/empathy which I don't think I've ever seen in any of my relationships.
The problem is I've felt he doesn't respect my time. The 1st 9 months that we were talking. He made plans with me multiple times and never showed, radio silence each time. He would always apologize later and say it was a family emergency but he would never tell me what the family emergency was.
Eventually I decided he was lying obviously and I cut ties with him, sent a text with my feelings about it, blocked his number. I was hurt and I got some petty revenge that resulted in him getting many calls. (Immature and unhealthy I know. I'm not proud.)
A few months later in February he found me on instagram and reached out. We ended up going out to eat where he explained these family emergencies. To my surprise he actually had a good excuse.
In summary, his dad was struggling with substance abuse issues, and then his mom got in an accident. She is just now starting to walk again. The whole reason he moved out this way was to take care of them. He explained that every time we made plans something would come up and his parents needed him.
He brought up the petty revenge. He wasn't even mad. He was concerned it could be something I did regularly but overall we ended up laughing about it.
We started talking again here and there. He came over last week for maybe half an hour. And he made plans to come over tonight and spend time with me... I'm pretty sure he's not coming. I asked him this morning. He text me back explaining his mom asked him to drive her to do errands, he asked his brother to do it instead, and he was waiting for a response.
Then.... Silence. No confirmation one way or another.
Overall I'm frustrated by the lack of communication.

1. He gets excited and makes plans with me. There's build-up he's gonna "treat me like a Queen." And then the day of, it's me following up and him going silent... He's been doing that the whole time. That's what he is doing today. I find the silence triggering. If he needs to take care of his mom, I understand 100%. It's the silence that I do not get. I don't understand why he won't just tell me he can't come.
   
2. I can't wrap my mind around why he wouldn't tell me about his situation sooner. I shared a lot with him about my life. Some of the struggles I shared are similar to his. I can't understand why he didn't feel comfortable telling me sooner.
   

Half of my instincts tell me he is a great person. The other half of my instincts are saying he doesn't respect my time.
Then my cptsd comes into play. My mind spirals and gets stuck in these loops of thought. And when that happens I KNOW I can't trust my instincts because I can't even think straight. It hurts me. It's hurting my recovery.
Who is the AH? WIBTAH If I cut ties with him and blocked him on all social media? What would you do? Would you explain it first?
Or should I explain my ptsd and tell him he needs to communicate more and why and see if he does?
Bottom line, he stops triggering my ptsd or he needs to go. I'm just not sure what to do exactly.

I'm a (25f) who recently had to move back to my childhood home because NYC, where I was living, was too expensive for me to afford. I've been back since March and lucky enough I can commute into New York easily. I’ve been using the time to save money but unfortunately the company I was working for laid off a bunch of people including me, so I’m back on the job hunt. I've fully supported myself all throughout college and before moving back, only occasionally asking for support. I’ve been for the time being trying to take more babysitting shifts but I’ve been doing that since high school and at this point in my life, it feels draining working with kids. I was also a waitress and as many might know the restaurant industry is incredibly toxic. So I’m searching for jobs and my savings is now essentially non-existent. Moving back home has also not been easy. I was no contact with my parents for two years due to childhood verbal, emotional, physical abuse and neglect that continued into adulthood. There was one really scary incident during college, when I came back home to visit, involving my dad that made me concerned for my immediate safety. He was driving the car and got really mad at me. He started screaming at me and calling me horrible names and curse words while not looking at the road. We were on the highway. He would speed and stop the car fast and was being completely reckless. I begged for him to let me out the car and the only thing that stopped him fortunately, was calling a family member and putting her on speaker. He didn't want to be exposed I guess. This unfortunately was only one of many horrific incidents but it was the last straw for me. I asked my mom and sister for support after the incident and they said I was ruining the family. I then asked for space to process the trauma which made my mother really angry. I went no contact at this point because nothing I said would make her listen. She then told all my extended family and her friends that I was in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend (which I didn’t have because I was single at the time and still am now) and that I wasn’t talking to her because non-existent abusive bf was alienating me. I texted her telling her that it was a lie and I just wanted space to heal and she wouldn’t listen. I ended up forgiving my parents before moving back due to losing a grandparent and a family health scare. Things have slightly gotten better but moving back has been triggering. My dad has been a lot better and is on the right meds but my mom still has her moments of breaking me down from her words and telling me things like "my friends don't care about me," that "I'm negative energy, and she's "only telling me this because she loves me and no one else will." An extended family vacation is coming up and my mom has paid for all of it but I’ve told her I don’t want to go. I NEED to find a job and save in order to move out and I also don't know how I will make it mentally. At least here, I can escape into the city and visit friends if I need too but I’m afraid to be with family and away from anything that can support me in case of a crisis. Part of my feels guilty, she paid and it is only a week but I can't imagine enjoying myself with debt and as of now only $100 to my name on top of the fear of being triggered and feeling there is no where for me to go. I’m just not in the mental place to feel that sort of isolation. The only good thing I can think of is at least I’ll be able to explore. But I also fear anytime I spend alone would make people think im distant and uninterested in the family. My mom also told all of them I was in an imaginary abusive relationship and while it’s not true it’s hard to tell people it’s not without seeming like I'm making excuses (also incredibly frustrating). I don’t know what to do. If I had a therapist maybe I could mentally prep for this trip but I don’t have money for one. Any help or suggestions would be greatly greatly appreciated or even just support. The trip is in 6 days and I'm dreading the countdown.

Partner and I are in our mid-30s and engaged after nine months. The first nine months were ecstatic: rich, deep quality time; many meaningful shared experiences; she's intellectual, psychological, and funny; best sex I've had; you get the idea. I notice a few quirks, like she can be a little impulsive and can be slightly controlling, but it doesn't seem like anything to worry about. I love this woman, so I propose and move into her place in another city. She gets deployed to another country (I knew this going in)--then things change.
She's unhappy where she's at and under a lot of stress. I want to be compassionate and give her the benefit of the doubt. I want to support her as best I can; she deserves to be happy.
Things started going downhill when I achieved something one weekend. She called me up and tore me down. I had no idea where this came from, but it hurt and fucked up my whole weekend. I sent her a stern email letting her know I wasn't happy, and her apology seemed sincere.
She tells me she wants me to visit because she's found a cat and can't easily import it back to the USA. I make an offer to see her July 4th as this would be perfect for my schedule, but she completely shuts it down, claiming it's too expensive. When I say, "It's not more expensive than any other time of year," she says, "I just don't want you to come." I found this strange. Shouldn't she want to see me? I'm flying half way across the world to do her a favor. The next day, I follow-up with her via text to let her know I can visit, but she completely changes the subject. I press the issue more a few days later on a call and she said she was stonewalling me because it's dangerous there and she doesn't want me to worry, but I knew this before she got deployed, and she was OK with me visiting some other time. She even recommended I visit with her sister. Something is happening on July 4th break and she won't tell me what it is.
Fast forward a few video calls later and I mention a piece of constructive criticism her superior gave her, because she was talking about staying in the military full time aiming for a high-ranking position, which is a volte-face from what she's been telling me while there (she hates it, doesn't think she'd make a good leader, wants to work corporate, etc.). She immediately shuts down: one-word answers, a blank stare, passive aggressive comments, and she attempts to cut the call quickly. I apologize profusely for offending her, but she "smiles" and "reassures" me she's not upset. Honestly, this was a little creepy. When I bring it up later, she said she was tired and had to use the bathroom, so she was in a rush to leave, but this doesn't seem to align with my experience. She seemed really, really angry. Since I brought this up, I don't really get impromptu phone calls anymore and we don't talk as much during the week.
Then two bombs get dropped. We are wedding planning and I find out she was engaged to someone (within three months) and never told me about it. I told her I felt betrayed and that trust took a hit, and asked her why this wasn't disclosed, and she said she didn't consider it important, that I never asked, etc. We had a few conversations about relationships and agreed to not bring up past relationships when we first started dating. She cited this agreement, but I told her I was misled, the agreement doesn't cover inconsistencies, and it's customary to disclose information like this to potential life-long partners. We also agreed to being open and honest with each other. She said she has a right to privacy and she can't know what I might think is important. I explain we can empathize and try to identify with the other; e.g., if I had done porn or went to prison, I would tell her. She breaks down and admits she has done porn. Her sister knows, the internet knows, but she was probably never going to tell me. She blames me for breaking the agreement, then says she feels betrayed because I broke her trust. This seems like DARVO to me. My friends and therapist all agree she is gaslighting.
I'm familiar with narcissistic abuse. I'm worried, paranoid, and scared. She's keeping secrets, stonewalling, gaslighting, and I don't know what else. My therapist and friends will be on my side, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Can her behavior be explained in a way that doesn't factor in a toxic relationship dynamic? Maybe this group can give me some perspective. Thanks.