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Wife won’t/can’t grow in intimacy.
2023.06.10 03:31 therisdoon Wife won’t/can’t grow in intimacy.
This is a long one but meant to start a conversation. Sorry for the word spam. I like to write.
General question and open discussion topic for the sub.
My wife (48f) and I (50m) have been married for 23 years (this year). We have two adult sons who still live with us for various reasons (some good some not).
We have never been able to have an adult conversation about physical intimacy. If I bring it up it’s “god all you want is sex”, if she brings it up … wait… she never brings it up… unless we are in therapy (three times in 20+ years) it’s , “all he wants is sex”. For reference, we have sex maybe 1-3 times every 6 months on an irregular basis generally initiated by me. In a normal day we don’t kiss. We don’t touch, we don’t hold hands and we don’t hug. We’ve gone as long as two (2) years (several times) without physical intimacy (not just sex, but no kissing, no touching, nothing) I gave up several times and contemplated divorce but eventually tried again to rekindle something between us.
After the kids got into high-school, after I got through some significant physical problems (car accident and back surgeries), after I had such high anxiety and depression from a toxic work environment. I took time to evaluate where I was, where we were and what I wanted.
The problem is every, and I mean EVERY time I broach the subject of what I would like to see in our intimate relationship I get the knee jerk and, in my opinion “juvenile” response, “oh geese is this about the sex stuff again? Just roll me over and do me if you want it..”
I’ve tried to explain that intimacy is way more than sex and that what I really need is someone who is willing to pay attention to my need’s for physical touch as much as any other “need”. To be clear, she has never turned me down when I’ve initiated (generally because I plan things out to make sure things are conducive to the experience. I try to flirt(she ignores me) , I try to compliment( she has a low self esteem about herself that I have never enforced and tried actively to help her see that I see her beyond just her physical appearance), I try to speak her love language (quality time) by making sure we have time to work on projects together, watch TV, do chores together, go on outings, etc. The problem there is no return on any of that investment. I understand true love is not supposed to be expectant of a return. It’s supposed to be selfless and not quid-pro-quo. BUT… at some point the kind of relationship we have now becomes a nice platonic relationship (roommates with kids and shared finances) but not the intimacy I believe a true husband and wife are supposed to have.
An arm around a shoulder when you notice someone is having a hard day. Slip your hand around my waste and tug me in to show you are having a good time with me. A passionate kiss to show there is a fire inside and you are open to adding some fuel to it. Anything that communicates desire/love/comfort physically that doesn’t have to end in PIV.
So I (I am a thinker) and I’ve tried several ways to broach the topic, serious, funny, in stages, with outside assistance from therapists. We can’t seem to get past the “all he wants is sex” part of the conversation. We had a very active and passionate intimate relationship in both the beginnings of our relationships. We dated then broke up then found each other again several years later. We were intensely physical both times in the beginning. The second time led to our first son. No regrets. I love our kids. I honestly enjoy seeing her succeed in the things that make her happy. I just wish one of them was me.
I know I’m not perfect so I’m not afraid to answer questions that expose my own shortcomings but this is a hard thing for me to understand and work on. I’ve decided not to run but it’s still a challenge.
Any thoughts, questions for clarity or commiseration?
submitted by therisdoon to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]
General question and open discussion topic for the sub.
My wife (48f) and I (50m) have been married for 23 years (this year). We have two adult sons who still live with us for various reasons (some good some not).
We have never been able to have an adult conversation about physical intimacy. If I bring it up it’s “god all you want is sex”, if she brings it up … wait… she never brings it up… unless we are in therapy (three times in 20+ years) it’s , “all he wants is sex”. For reference, we have sex maybe 1-3 times every 6 months on an irregular basis generally initiated by me. In a normal day we don’t kiss. We don’t touch, we don’t hold hands and we don’t hug. We’ve gone as long as two (2) years (several times) without physical intimacy (not just sex, but no kissing, no touching, nothing) I gave up several times and contemplated divorce but eventually tried again to rekindle something between us.
After the kids got into high-school, after I got through some significant physical problems (car accident and back surgeries), after I had such high anxiety and depression from a toxic work environment. I took time to evaluate where I was, where we were and what I wanted.
The problem is every, and I mean EVERY time I broach the subject of what I would like to see in our intimate relationship I get the knee jerk and, in my opinion “juvenile” response, “oh geese is this about the sex stuff again? Just roll me over and do me if you want it..”
I’ve tried to explain that intimacy is way more than sex and that what I really need is someone who is willing to pay attention to my need’s for physical touch as much as any other “need”. To be clear, she has never turned me down when I’ve initiated (generally because I plan things out to make sure things are conducive to the experience. I try to flirt(she ignores me) , I try to compliment( she has a low self esteem about herself that I have never enforced and tried actively to help her see that I see her beyond just her physical appearance), I try to speak her love language (quality time) by making sure we have time to work on projects together, watch TV, do chores together, go on outings, etc. The problem there is no return on any of that investment. I understand true love is not supposed to be expectant of a return. It’s supposed to be selfless and not quid-pro-quo. BUT… at some point the kind of relationship we have now becomes a nice platonic relationship (roommates with kids and shared finances) but not the intimacy I believe a true husband and wife are supposed to have.
An arm around a shoulder when you notice someone is having a hard day. Slip your hand around my waste and tug me in to show you are having a good time with me. A passionate kiss to show there is a fire inside and you are open to adding some fuel to it. Anything that communicates desire/love/comfort physically that doesn’t have to end in PIV.
So I (I am a thinker) and I’ve tried several ways to broach the topic, serious, funny, in stages, with outside assistance from therapists. We can’t seem to get past the “all he wants is sex” part of the conversation. We had a very active and passionate intimate relationship in both the beginnings of our relationships. We dated then broke up then found each other again several years later. We were intensely physical both times in the beginning. The second time led to our first son. No regrets. I love our kids. I honestly enjoy seeing her succeed in the things that make her happy. I just wish one of them was me.
I know I’m not perfect so I’m not afraid to answer questions that expose my own shortcomings but this is a hard thing for me to understand and work on. I’ve decided not to run but it’s still a challenge.
Any thoughts, questions for clarity or commiseration?
2023.06.10 03:29 therisdoon Wife won’t grow in intimacy.
This is a long one but meant to start a conversation. Sorry for the word spam. I like to write. I’ve lurked for awhile and am just now getting the courage to post.
General question and open discussion topic for the sub.
My wife (48f) and I (50m) have been married for 23 years (this year). We have two adult sons who still live with us for various reasons (some good some not).
We have never been able to have an adult conversation about physical intimacy. If I bring it up it’s “god all you want is sex”, if she brings it up … wait… she never brings it up… unless we are in therapy (three times in 20+ years) it’s , “all he wants is sex”. For reference, we have sex maybe 1-3 times every 6 months on an irregular basis generally initiated by me. In a normal day we don’t kiss. We don’t touch, we don’t hold hands and we don’t hug. We’ve gone as long as two (2) years (several times) without physical intimacy (not just sex, but no kissing, no touching, nothing) I gave up several times and contemplated divorce but eventually tried again to rekindle something between us.
After the kids got into high-school, after I got through some significant physical problems (car accident and back surgeries), after I had such high anxiety and depression from a toxic work environment. I took time to evaluate where I was, where we were and what I wanted.
The problem is every, and I mean EVERY time I broach the subject of what I would like to see in our intimate relationship I get the knee jerk and, in my opinion “juvenile” response, “oh geese is this about the sex stuff again? Just roll me over and do me if you want it..”
I’ve tried to explain that intimacy is way more than sex and that what I really need is someone who is willing to pay attention to my need’s for physical touch as much as any other “need”. To be clear, she has never turned me down when I’ve initiated (generally because I plan things out to make sure things are conducive to the experience. I try to flirt(she ignores me) , I try to compliment( she has a low self esteem about herself that I have never enforced and tried actively to help her see that I see her beyond just her physical appearance), I try to speak her love language (quality time) by making sure we have time to work on projects together, watch TV, do chores together, go on outings, etc. The problem there is no return on any of that investment. I understand true love is not supposed to be expectant of a return. It’s supposed to be selfless and not quid-pro-quo. BUT… at some point the kind of relationship we have now becomes a nice platonic relationship (roommates with kids and shared finances) but not the intimacy I believe a true husband and wife are supposed to have.
An arm around a shoulder when you notice someone is having a hard day. Slip your hand around my waste and tug me in to show you are having a good time with me. A passionate kiss to show there is a fire inside and you are open to adding some fuel to it. Anything that communicates desire/love/comfort physically that doesn’t have to end in PIV.
So I (I am a thinker) and I’ve tried several ways to broach the topic, serious, funny, in stages, with outside assistance from therapists. We can’t seem to get past the “all he wants is sex” part of the conversation. We had a very active and passionate intimate relationship in both the beginnings of our relationships. We dated then broke up then found each other again several years later. We were intensely physical both times in the beginning. The second time led to our first son. No regrets. I love our kids. I honestly enjoy seeing her succeed in the things that make her happy. I just wish one of them was me.
I know I’m not perfect so I’m not afraid to answer questions that expose my own shortcomings but this is a hard thing for me to understand and work on. I’ve decided not to run but it’s still a challenge.
Any thoughts, questions for clarity or commiseration?
submitted by therisdoon to Marriage [link] [comments]
General question and open discussion topic for the sub.
My wife (48f) and I (50m) have been married for 23 years (this year). We have two adult sons who still live with us for various reasons (some good some not).
We have never been able to have an adult conversation about physical intimacy. If I bring it up it’s “god all you want is sex”, if she brings it up … wait… she never brings it up… unless we are in therapy (three times in 20+ years) it’s , “all he wants is sex”. For reference, we have sex maybe 1-3 times every 6 months on an irregular basis generally initiated by me. In a normal day we don’t kiss. We don’t touch, we don’t hold hands and we don’t hug. We’ve gone as long as two (2) years (several times) without physical intimacy (not just sex, but no kissing, no touching, nothing) I gave up several times and contemplated divorce but eventually tried again to rekindle something between us.
After the kids got into high-school, after I got through some significant physical problems (car accident and back surgeries), after I had such high anxiety and depression from a toxic work environment. I took time to evaluate where I was, where we were and what I wanted.
The problem is every, and I mean EVERY time I broach the subject of what I would like to see in our intimate relationship I get the knee jerk and, in my opinion “juvenile” response, “oh geese is this about the sex stuff again? Just roll me over and do me if you want it..”
I’ve tried to explain that intimacy is way more than sex and that what I really need is someone who is willing to pay attention to my need’s for physical touch as much as any other “need”. To be clear, she has never turned me down when I’ve initiated (generally because I plan things out to make sure things are conducive to the experience. I try to flirt(she ignores me) , I try to compliment( she has a low self esteem about herself that I have never enforced and tried actively to help her see that I see her beyond just her physical appearance), I try to speak her love language (quality time) by making sure we have time to work on projects together, watch TV, do chores together, go on outings, etc. The problem there is no return on any of that investment. I understand true love is not supposed to be expectant of a return. It’s supposed to be selfless and not quid-pro-quo. BUT… at some point the kind of relationship we have now becomes a nice platonic relationship (roommates with kids and shared finances) but not the intimacy I believe a true husband and wife are supposed to have.
An arm around a shoulder when you notice someone is having a hard day. Slip your hand around my waste and tug me in to show you are having a good time with me. A passionate kiss to show there is a fire inside and you are open to adding some fuel to it. Anything that communicates desire/love/comfort physically that doesn’t have to end in PIV.
So I (I am a thinker) and I’ve tried several ways to broach the topic, serious, funny, in stages, with outside assistance from therapists. We can’t seem to get past the “all he wants is sex” part of the conversation. We had a very active and passionate intimate relationship in both the beginnings of our relationships. We dated then broke up then found each other again several years later. We were intensely physical both times in the beginning. The second time led to our first son. No regrets. I love our kids. I honestly enjoy seeing her succeed in the things that make her happy. I just wish one of them was me.
I know I’m not perfect so I’m not afraid to answer questions that expose my own shortcomings but this is a hard thing for me to understand and work on. I’ve decided not to run but it’s still a challenge.
Any thoughts, questions for clarity or commiseration?
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submitted by AutoModerator to AmazingCourseplace [link] [comments]
Discover the secrets of course creation success with Paul Xavier - The 30 Day Course Creator Program.
Inside the program you will learn:
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- Market Research Mastery: Master the techniques to understand your target audience's needs and desires, giving you a competitive edge.
- Differentiation Strategies: Stand out from the competition and create unique selling propositions for your courses.
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submitted by AutoModerator to BiahezasPage [link] [comments]
The course focuses on practical steps that take you from zero to a profitable dropshipping store in no time.
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2023.06.10 03:12 iheartmytho Normal TSH / Low Free T4
41f here. I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease when I was 14, had thyroid ablation when I was 15, and have been hypothyroid ever since. I switched from Synthroid to Armour Thyroid over 7 years ago.
My blood test results are usually normal-ish and have had minor adjustments over the years. I'm currently on 120 ug of Armour 6 days a week. Previously I was taking 90 ug and 15 ug pills daily, but I was essentially paying double for the 2 pills, and it was getting costly. Taking 120 ug 6 days a week, averages out to the same.
My TSH has normally been on the low side of the 'normal' range, and Free T4 has been on the mid-low side too.
Recently, I decided to stop taking hormonal birth control. Not because I'm trying to become pregnant, but I was tired of the side effects. So my endocrinologist suggested I get my bloodwork redone, just in case.
In December 2022, these were my results:
TSH: 0.69 (Range: 0.340 - 5.600 uIU/mL)
Free T4: 0.9 (Range: 0.60 - 1.60 ng/dL)
I had blood drawn today, and these are my results:
TSH: 0.760
Free T4: 0.52
So not a huge change in the TSH, but definitely a change in the Free T4. Looking through my historical Free T4 results, they have always been typically 0.8 - 0.9, so this does seem like a big drop.
Does this mean I'm now clinically hypothyroid?
I've been trying to lose some pandemic weight gain for the past few months, and despite calorie restriction and exercise, it's not really coming off. I've also notice a bit more water retention / edema.
My endo hasn't gotten back to me yet about my new blood test results. Should I ask her about the low Free T4 result? Any suggestions on what I should ask her about?
submitted by iheartmytho to gravesdisease [link] [comments]
My blood test results are usually normal-ish and have had minor adjustments over the years. I'm currently on 120 ug of Armour 6 days a week. Previously I was taking 90 ug and 15 ug pills daily, but I was essentially paying double for the 2 pills, and it was getting costly. Taking 120 ug 6 days a week, averages out to the same.
My TSH has normally been on the low side of the 'normal' range, and Free T4 has been on the mid-low side too.
Recently, I decided to stop taking hormonal birth control. Not because I'm trying to become pregnant, but I was tired of the side effects. So my endocrinologist suggested I get my bloodwork redone, just in case.
In December 2022, these were my results:
TSH: 0.69 (Range: 0.340 - 5.600 uIU/mL)
Free T4: 0.9 (Range: 0.60 - 1.60 ng/dL)
I had blood drawn today, and these are my results:
TSH: 0.760
Free T4: 0.52
So not a huge change in the TSH, but definitely a change in the Free T4. Looking through my historical Free T4 results, they have always been typically 0.8 - 0.9, so this does seem like a big drop.
Does this mean I'm now clinically hypothyroid?
I've been trying to lose some pandemic weight gain for the past few months, and despite calorie restriction and exercise, it's not really coming off. I've also notice a bit more water retention / edema.
My endo hasn't gotten back to me yet about my new blood test results. Should I ask her about the low Free T4 result? Any suggestions on what I should ask her about?
2023.06.10 03:12 AutoModerator Biaheza's Dropshipping Course (new edition)
Contact me on (+44) 7593880762 on Telegram/WhatsApp if you have interest in Biaheza's Dropshipping course.
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If you are interested in Biaheza's Dropshipping course contact us on:
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
WhatApp/Telegram: (+44) 7593880762
Email: silverlakestore/@/yandex.com (remove the brackets).
submitted by AutoModerator to AmazingCourseplace [link] [comments]
The course focuses on practical steps that take you from zero to a profitable dropshipping store in no time.
Biaheza's Dropshipping course guarantees real results, not just theories!
Experience the thrill of launching your own store and making over one thousand dollars on day one. Biaheza will guide you through every step, explaining how to scale your business for even greater success.
You will learn how to:
- Dominate with TikTok ads
- Create a high-converting website with ease
- Learn to create a simple yet powerful website that achieves world-class conversion rates...
.,, and more!
Biaheza's Dropshipping course witll show you how to captivate your audience, drive sales, and maximize your profits effortlessly.
If you are interested in Biaheza's Dropshipping course contact us on:
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
WhatApp/Telegram: (+44) 7593880762
Email: silverlakestore/@/yandex.com (remove the brackets).
2023.06.10 03:10 Specific-Clerk1212 Next board. Where to go from here?
Hey folks, adding to the slew of gear questions with all the summer sales going on. Hope to make this one straightforward and information-filled in hopes I might get a decent response.
About me:
Just ended my first season in about a decade after moving out to Colorado. Snowboarded about 15 days in my life before that, but grew up skateboarding and surfing daily, so that helped a bit. Started my season with a Salomon Assassin that I got from Craigslist. Great board for my first season back, and plan on keeping it for laid back days, tree days, or any bit of park I may (but probably won’t) do. Mostly ride at Copper Mountain & Arapahoe Basin.
Estimated skill level:
I’d wager I’m somewhere in the intermediate camp at the end of the season. Blue runs out here are no brainers and good runs to push myself a little and practice technique. I’m comfortable on black runs, did just fine on the few double blacks I tried. Nothing too crazy though. Not catching any edges, getting more into carving, sending small-medium side hits, starting to go pretty fast (and in control) on groomers. For reference if anybody is familiar with A Basin, I’m typically lapping Lenawee and the Blue/Black side of the Zuma Bowl. Totally willing to be told I’m not intermediate based on this, or that what I’m looking for is too much board for me.
Riding style:
What else should I be considering? Anything here that doesn’t fit?
submitted by Specific-Clerk1212 to snowboarding [link] [comments]
About me:
Just ended my first season in about a decade after moving out to Colorado. Snowboarded about 15 days in my life before that, but grew up skateboarding and surfing daily, so that helped a bit. Started my season with a Salomon Assassin that I got from Craigslist. Great board for my first season back, and plan on keeping it for laid back days, tree days, or any bit of park I may (but probably won’t) do. Mostly ride at Copper Mountain & Arapahoe Basin.
Estimated skill level:
I’d wager I’m somewhere in the intermediate camp at the end of the season. Blue runs out here are no brainers and good runs to push myself a little and practice technique. I’m comfortable on black runs, did just fine on the few double blacks I tried. Nothing too crazy though. Not catching any edges, getting more into carving, sending small-medium side hits, starting to go pretty fast (and in control) on groomers. For reference if anybody is familiar with A Basin, I’m typically lapping Lenawee and the Blue/Black side of the Zuma Bowl. Totally willing to be told I’m not intermediate based on this, or that what I’m looking for is too much board for me.
Riding style:
- I’m not really interested in park, but hunt for side hits on the trail. -Not really a switch rider, so looking for a directional board.
- Starting to go faster and make solid carves, so looking for something more stable, but would like to still make some slashes and retain some maneuverability
- Mostly ride groomed runs, but want to be able to deal with choppy snow better and go a bit off piste more.
- I ride in trees just a little bit, but current board is great for those quick turns.
- Likely a directional board.
- Something a little stiffer and more stable at speed than what I have. But not too tough to maneuver. -Something I can use on a decent powder day.
- Good for carving. Quick edge to edge is great but I realize I’m asking for stability.
- Solid pop + landing pad for side hits.
- Decent butterability is a plus but not important.
- Probably around 6-8 in stiffness.
- in the All Mountain / Freeride camp
- Basically, a do everything except park board
- Not really interested in volume shifted boards but could be convinced.
What else should I be considering? Anything here that doesn’t fit?
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2023.06.10 03:03 Aros001 Andrea Beaumont as The Phantasm and Thomas Elliot as Hush: Why one works for me while the other doesn't.
I'd never really thought about this comparison before but I saw a comment recently that pointed out the two, conceptually speaking, actually do have a lot in common.
Both, at the time of their original stories, were brand new villains for Batman to face. The new hotness that's come to Gotham to f**k up his day, with a big part of the plot being the mystery of who The Phantasm/Hush is, with the reveal being...the only other new and significant character introduced for the story. Both Andrea and Tommy are retconned into Bruce's past and made very important to him (one being the woman he loved, the other his childhood best friend), with said past being shown to us in flashbacks throughout the story. And both serve as a dark reflection of Bruce himself.
With these similarities, why is it that I find one works way more for me than the other? Especially when I grew up with both these stories.
I'm definitely a bit in the minority here but I've never really gotten the hype over Hush. That's not to say I don't like the Hush story, just that Hush/Tommy Elliot specifically is just kind of...okay to me at best. Not bad but not one of Batman's villains I feel a strong attachment to or feel a lot of excitement over when he's going to be in something. I never feel the same as others when they say they want Hush as the villain for a movie or that he should have been the main villain of Arkham Knight. I could certainly believe a good writer could get something good out of his concepts, but as he is, as he was in the original Hush story, the story most people know him from and that put him on the map, he's just...okay.
But then there's Andrea, and while I don't think she really needed to appear in other stories after Mask of the Phantasm, since like Tommy it feels like a case of diminishing returns, I do still find myself a lot more attached to that character and feel like she was very well done despite conceptually being so similar to Tommy. With Hush I don't want him to be in anything more after his initial story because I didn't really care that much about the character, whereas with The Phantasm I didn't want her to be in anything after her initial story because I didn't want them to ruin what I felt like was already done near perfectly and wrapped up.
I think the difference comes down to two big things: Framing within the story, and characterization.
Both stories center around the mystery "Who is The Phantasm/Hush?", but the execution of both mysteries, the pay-off to them, and Andrea and Tommy's place within those narratives is handled very differently.
Hush, in my opinion, is interesting almost solely because of the mystery around who he is and how he manipulates events and Batman's villains to strike at him. When we get the reveal that he's Tommy, not much is added that replaces the mystery in order to keep him interesting.
Why did he do all of this? Because he resents Bruce for being able to inherit all of his parent's wealth as a child while his own attempt to gain the same was foiled by Bruce's father saving his mother's life after Tommy deliberately tried to get his parents killed. In regards to making Tommy a dark, twisted reflection of Bruce, this does work. While Bruce loved his parents, was deeply scarred by their deaths, and he'd have given up that entire fortune and more just to have them back, Tommy was willing to kill his just to get his hands on their money and hated his mother for surviving. But as the big conclusion to this big story spanning most of Batman's rogues gallery and all the manipulations and planning and gaslighting the villain had done, this motivation feels too...mundane. It's too petty.
Don't get me wrong, pettiness does not make for a bad villain motivation in the right context. My favorite supervillain of all time is Lex Luthor and half that man's plans are fueled by pure spite for Superman for daring to make him look bad by being a good person. But for all the build-up and everything that was involved this answer just doesn't feel satisfying. Even things like Tommy's mother always comparing him to Bruce or Tommy creating a new face to look like Bruce to steal his identity and fortune wasn't a thing until later stories. In the original Hush story, Tommy is purely just after revenge on Bruce for getting inherited wealth as a child while he had to wait until he was an adult.
This isn't helped by how little we really get to know Thomas Elliot and Bruce's attachment to him before the reveal.
I think one of the things that works best about Batman: Hush, more than the mystery around who Hush is, is that the whole storyline feels like a semi-celebration of Batman and a love letter to the character. It showcases a lot of his big name villains, shows Batman's connections to his allies, from the Bat family to Huntress to Gordon to Superman, marks the start of what, in my opinion, made Catwoman a genuine contender for being Batman's best romantic relationship rather than just another love interest, goes into Batman's history, from Jason Todd to Harold and even his childhood before his parents were killed, and all while throughout we're getting the narration boxes of Bruce's inner thoughts, going in on what he thinks of himself and everyone around him. It's one of those stories where if someone wanted to get into Batman comics for the first time or needed an introduction to the character (weird as it is to think that when the character is everywhere these days), Batman: Hush would be one of the ones I'd point out.
The story has a lot going for it...and Thomas Elliot gets lost in it all. We get to somewhat know what he was like as a kid, so much of which doesn't apply to him as an adult in the present because so much time has passed since then, and what we do get to know of him as an adult gets put into question once we find out he's Hush since he more than likely was putting on an act every time he interacted with Bruce. We don't even get that much interaction between him and Batman after the reveal of his identity is made in order to get to know the real him, nor does he even take off his bandage mask to fully confirm it's Tommy. He gets shot by Harvey Dent, falls from a great height, and then f**ks off until he can be brought back in an eventual sequel.
This is part of why I wasn't really that upset when the animated movie adaptation of the story had The Riddler be Hush instead of Tommy, who basically was the real mastermind behind everything anyway in the original and was the more impactful twist. He's the one who figured out Batman was Bruce Wayne, being the one to present that information to Tommy, and was the one who got all the villains to cooperate with the plan. Most important of all, I have a feel for who the Riddler is. But Tommy? He's...smart. Apparently. And petty....apparently. What is Tommy's actual character beyond "guy who wanted his parent's money"?
Let's compare all of this to The Phantasm and Andrea Beaumont.
Like with Hush, the main mystery Mask of the Phantasm centers around is "Who is the Phantasm?" but the scale is more simple. The Phantasm isn't after Batman but rather is knocking off members of the Valestra crime family and, intentionally or otherwise, is getting Batman framed for the murders.
Like with the flashbacks to Bruce and Tommy's past with each other, we get flashbacks of Bruce and Andrea's own past together. However, not only was it a past relatively more recent, and thus we get a better feel for who Andrea is since she's already an adult in the flashbacks, but the flashbacks are more central to the movie's plot and don't have a million other more memorable or iconic bits happening around them to take the attention away, in part because these flashbacks show us Bruce's own history with the Valestra mob. The flashbacks with Tommy often didn't have a lot of relevance to the mystery around Hush or what he was doing beyond the fact that they involved Tommy It was mostly Bruce reminiscing about his childhood. While the flashbacks with Andrea also served to give insight on the people the Phantasm is targeting and why someone would want them dead, Andrea especially. Even the Joker, who is brought into the movie to help spice up the climax, used to be a hit man for the Valestras, and in fact was the one who was sent to murder Andrea's father. He ties into the main plot of the mystery while all the rogues used in Hush were mostly there to just wear Batman down or throw him off Tommy and Riddler's trail.
We also get Andrea and Bruce interacting in the present, greatly aided by her quickly figuring out that he's Batman and the two being able to speak frankly to each other, and interacting after he figures out she's the Phantasm. And when we get the reveal that she's the Phantasm, her personality doesn't really change that much, meaning that while she was hiding the truth from Bruce she wasn't putting on a complete front. Unlike Tommy, who we honestly aren't sure if we know anything real about, we feel we understand Andrea quite well. While what we saw of Tommy prior to the reveal helped cover up that he was Hush, what we saw of Andrea had it make even more sense that she was the Phantasm after the reveal is made.
Why is Andrea doing all this? She wants revenge on the Valestra mob for forcing her to flee Gotham, keeping her from marrying the man she loved, killing her father, and basically ruining her life. It's a very simple motivation but the build-up to it is more appropriate given the size and scale of the story and thus that simplicity doesn't feel like a big let-down. And even more so, it makes her a good dark and twisted reflection of Bruce. A normal life upended by crime and corruption unchecked, Andrea took on a terrifying alternate identity to bring justice in a way no one else could/no one else would, but along the way became consumed by the same need for vengeance that Bruce has always had to keep himself from falling into, to the point there's nothing else for her. A sympathetic motivation isn't inherently better than a petty one for a villain. It depends on its context and how it's executed. And Andrea's sympathetic motivation works here because of the parallels with Bruce and how much of a tragedy it's written as. Bruce almost never became Batman because he was so unexpected happy being with Andrea, but the crime Batman was intended to fight against tore him and her away from each other, destroying both of their lives yet again, and ended up corrupting the woman he had loved so much, turning her basically into...well...him.
TL;DR: Despite their similarities and how obvious their mysteries are when you think about them even a little, Andrea Beaumont as The Phantasm works better for me than Thomas Elliot did as Hush for the following reasons:
submitted by Aros001 to DCcomics [link] [comments]
Both, at the time of their original stories, were brand new villains for Batman to face. The new hotness that's come to Gotham to f**k up his day, with a big part of the plot being the mystery of who The Phantasm/Hush is, with the reveal being...the only other new and significant character introduced for the story. Both Andrea and Tommy are retconned into Bruce's past and made very important to him (one being the woman he loved, the other his childhood best friend), with said past being shown to us in flashbacks throughout the story. And both serve as a dark reflection of Bruce himself.
With these similarities, why is it that I find one works way more for me than the other? Especially when I grew up with both these stories.
I'm definitely a bit in the minority here but I've never really gotten the hype over Hush. That's not to say I don't like the Hush story, just that Hush/Tommy Elliot specifically is just kind of...okay to me at best. Not bad but not one of Batman's villains I feel a strong attachment to or feel a lot of excitement over when he's going to be in something. I never feel the same as others when they say they want Hush as the villain for a movie or that he should have been the main villain of Arkham Knight. I could certainly believe a good writer could get something good out of his concepts, but as he is, as he was in the original Hush story, the story most people know him from and that put him on the map, he's just...okay.
But then there's Andrea, and while I don't think she really needed to appear in other stories after Mask of the Phantasm, since like Tommy it feels like a case of diminishing returns, I do still find myself a lot more attached to that character and feel like she was very well done despite conceptually being so similar to Tommy. With Hush I don't want him to be in anything more after his initial story because I didn't really care that much about the character, whereas with The Phantasm I didn't want her to be in anything after her initial story because I didn't want them to ruin what I felt like was already done near perfectly and wrapped up.
I think the difference comes down to two big things: Framing within the story, and characterization.
Both stories center around the mystery "Who is The Phantasm/Hush?", but the execution of both mysteries, the pay-off to them, and Andrea and Tommy's place within those narratives is handled very differently.
Hush, in my opinion, is interesting almost solely because of the mystery around who he is and how he manipulates events and Batman's villains to strike at him. When we get the reveal that he's Tommy, not much is added that replaces the mystery in order to keep him interesting.
Why did he do all of this? Because he resents Bruce for being able to inherit all of his parent's wealth as a child while his own attempt to gain the same was foiled by Bruce's father saving his mother's life after Tommy deliberately tried to get his parents killed. In regards to making Tommy a dark, twisted reflection of Bruce, this does work. While Bruce loved his parents, was deeply scarred by their deaths, and he'd have given up that entire fortune and more just to have them back, Tommy was willing to kill his just to get his hands on their money and hated his mother for surviving. But as the big conclusion to this big story spanning most of Batman's rogues gallery and all the manipulations and planning and gaslighting the villain had done, this motivation feels too...mundane. It's too petty.
Don't get me wrong, pettiness does not make for a bad villain motivation in the right context. My favorite supervillain of all time is Lex Luthor and half that man's plans are fueled by pure spite for Superman for daring to make him look bad by being a good person. But for all the build-up and everything that was involved this answer just doesn't feel satisfying. Even things like Tommy's mother always comparing him to Bruce or Tommy creating a new face to look like Bruce to steal his identity and fortune wasn't a thing until later stories. In the original Hush story, Tommy is purely just after revenge on Bruce for getting inherited wealth as a child while he had to wait until he was an adult.
This isn't helped by how little we really get to know Thomas Elliot and Bruce's attachment to him before the reveal.
I think one of the things that works best about Batman: Hush, more than the mystery around who Hush is, is that the whole storyline feels like a semi-celebration of Batman and a love letter to the character. It showcases a lot of his big name villains, shows Batman's connections to his allies, from the Bat family to Huntress to Gordon to Superman, marks the start of what, in my opinion, made Catwoman a genuine contender for being Batman's best romantic relationship rather than just another love interest, goes into Batman's history, from Jason Todd to Harold and even his childhood before his parents were killed, and all while throughout we're getting the narration boxes of Bruce's inner thoughts, going in on what he thinks of himself and everyone around him. It's one of those stories where if someone wanted to get into Batman comics for the first time or needed an introduction to the character (weird as it is to think that when the character is everywhere these days), Batman: Hush would be one of the ones I'd point out.
The story has a lot going for it...and Thomas Elliot gets lost in it all. We get to somewhat know what he was like as a kid, so much of which doesn't apply to him as an adult in the present because so much time has passed since then, and what we do get to know of him as an adult gets put into question once we find out he's Hush since he more than likely was putting on an act every time he interacted with Bruce. We don't even get that much interaction between him and Batman after the reveal of his identity is made in order to get to know the real him, nor does he even take off his bandage mask to fully confirm it's Tommy. He gets shot by Harvey Dent, falls from a great height, and then f**ks off until he can be brought back in an eventual sequel.
This is part of why I wasn't really that upset when the animated movie adaptation of the story had The Riddler be Hush instead of Tommy, who basically was the real mastermind behind everything anyway in the original and was the more impactful twist. He's the one who figured out Batman was Bruce Wayne, being the one to present that information to Tommy, and was the one who got all the villains to cooperate with the plan. Most important of all, I have a feel for who the Riddler is. But Tommy? He's...smart. Apparently. And petty....apparently. What is Tommy's actual character beyond "guy who wanted his parent's money"?
Let's compare all of this to The Phantasm and Andrea Beaumont.
Like with Hush, the main mystery Mask of the Phantasm centers around is "Who is the Phantasm?" but the scale is more simple. The Phantasm isn't after Batman but rather is knocking off members of the Valestra crime family and, intentionally or otherwise, is getting Batman framed for the murders.
Like with the flashbacks to Bruce and Tommy's past with each other, we get flashbacks of Bruce and Andrea's own past together. However, not only was it a past relatively more recent, and thus we get a better feel for who Andrea is since she's already an adult in the flashbacks, but the flashbacks are more central to the movie's plot and don't have a million other more memorable or iconic bits happening around them to take the attention away, in part because these flashbacks show us Bruce's own history with the Valestra mob. The flashbacks with Tommy often didn't have a lot of relevance to the mystery around Hush or what he was doing beyond the fact that they involved Tommy It was mostly Bruce reminiscing about his childhood. While the flashbacks with Andrea also served to give insight on the people the Phantasm is targeting and why someone would want them dead, Andrea especially. Even the Joker, who is brought into the movie to help spice up the climax, used to be a hit man for the Valestras, and in fact was the one who was sent to murder Andrea's father. He ties into the main plot of the mystery while all the rogues used in Hush were mostly there to just wear Batman down or throw him off Tommy and Riddler's trail.
We also get Andrea and Bruce interacting in the present, greatly aided by her quickly figuring out that he's Batman and the two being able to speak frankly to each other, and interacting after he figures out she's the Phantasm. And when we get the reveal that she's the Phantasm, her personality doesn't really change that much, meaning that while she was hiding the truth from Bruce she wasn't putting on a complete front. Unlike Tommy, who we honestly aren't sure if we know anything real about, we feel we understand Andrea quite well. While what we saw of Tommy prior to the reveal helped cover up that he was Hush, what we saw of Andrea had it make even more sense that she was the Phantasm after the reveal is made.
Why is Andrea doing all this? She wants revenge on the Valestra mob for forcing her to flee Gotham, keeping her from marrying the man she loved, killing her father, and basically ruining her life. It's a very simple motivation but the build-up to it is more appropriate given the size and scale of the story and thus that simplicity doesn't feel like a big let-down. And even more so, it makes her a good dark and twisted reflection of Bruce. A normal life upended by crime and corruption unchecked, Andrea took on a terrifying alternate identity to bring justice in a way no one else could/no one else would, but along the way became consumed by the same need for vengeance that Bruce has always had to keep himself from falling into, to the point there's nothing else for her. A sympathetic motivation isn't inherently better than a petty one for a villain. It depends on its context and how it's executed. And Andrea's sympathetic motivation works here because of the parallels with Bruce and how much of a tragedy it's written as. Bruce almost never became Batman because he was so unexpected happy being with Andrea, but the crime Batman was intended to fight against tore him and her away from each other, destroying both of their lives yet again, and ended up corrupting the woman he had loved so much, turning her basically into...well...him.
TL;DR: Despite their similarities and how obvious their mysteries are when you think about them even a little, Andrea Beaumont as The Phantasm works better for me than Thomas Elliot did as Hush for the following reasons:
- We get to know the real Andrea better than we do the real Tommy, both before and after the reveals are made.
- Andrea's motivations feel more appropriate to the story being told with her than Tommy's were.
- Andrea being a dark, twisted reflection of Bruce ties in better to the story thematically than Tommy being a dark, twisted reflection did.
- Both the Phantasm and Hush start off cool and interesting because of how mysterious they are. The more of Phantasm's mystery is revealed, we get enough backstory and characterization to replace it to still keep us invested. The more of Hush's mystery is revealed, the less interesting he becomes because there's so little to take its place.
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2023.06.10 03:00 Throwaway156469 After working 5 months, 50-60 hr a week, salary, in a region barely afloat with no help, instead of a thank you, all I get is being told that 3-4 hr of my drive time a day as a field tech will not count.
Honestly, the title is the TL;DR. This is rambly and my grammar is bad. I am really sorry for how long this is.
I have no support system. I have no savings. I am taking care of someone who means a lot to me and needs help, but can't get it yet. The point is, I have already been under so much stress that my work's reaction to all of this is simply pushing me over the edge and I don't know who else to ask. Who to reach out to. I don't know if things are going to be okay.
I picked up this really awesome field tech position a few months ago. After a month, my boss was no longer with the company... and it turned out he didn't train me at all. I learned more on my own the two weeks after he was gone than any of the month he was "training" me.
And over the course of the 4 months since, I have worked my butt off to keep this region afloat because I am the ONLY tech here. None of the equipment is updated. Vulnerable devices need to be located and liquidated ASAP. Purchasing is taking 3 and a half eons to get equipment out to sites so I have to work with not enough equipment... as all the old existing equipment begins to fail. None of the internal knowledge about the region was recorded either, so I had to identify that as well (ie what equipment we do have, what we don't, what is available for issue, what needs to be yeeted out a window, etc). The region is 2-4 hr wide in terms of drive time, so on average I usually end the day almost - but not quite - 2 hr away from home. I have to time it that way in order to reach all my sites before they close (often having to skip lunch and breaks). As a result, most of my drive time is at the beginning and end of the day.
It sucked. It meant that if I wanted this region to survive, I needed to put in excessive hours. But I am salary, and as far as I was told by that point, normal work in my region didn't qualify for any extra effort bonuses.
Now before I start, I want to address the why. Why did I tolerate all of this without pay, essentially? Well, to start, because as much as I would like to MC the hell out of them when they first started to drop the ball and make them realize how much I do, the client I take care of does amazing work for people and their communities. To only do my 40 hr a week would mean letting them suffer and fall. It would mean people not getting the help they need. And the other field techs were constantly getting recognized for much more minor things. What reason did I have to think I was going to be any different?
Now I managed to keep up. I put in 50-60 hr a week on average. It got to a point where I was solving so many issues simultaneously that if it wasn't major enough, I just didn't even put a ticket for it because I just didn't have TIME. Like, oh, you need a new mouse? Here is a cheap wired one I was about to throw away, try that.... as I work on these 40 other issues. I am not going to take 5 minutes to fill out a whole ticket about it when I start working at 8 am and finish working at 9 pm. I want to watch YouTube. I want to doomscroll Reddit. I want to sleep. I don't want to stay up making 40 tickets about people who don't understand how the monitor also has a power button and is in fact not a desktop. They are wonderful, beautiful people, and those issues and questions are very valid, so I take them very seriously. These people need to focus on their jobs that are helping so many people, not on petty IT problems. However... wasn't worth the effort of a whole ticket. Especially when I wasn't getting any extra effort pay. I used to do them at first but got burnt out too fast. On average my timecard now shows around 8.5-10 hr a day, sometimes the full 12-13 hr.
Now, I was about to start PTSD treatment so a couple of weeks ago I reached out to my boss to explain the situation. I told him the state of my region and that I will not be able to keep up with this anymore, especially when they keep asking me to find and wipe these old vulnerable devices to such an excess and in such a time frame that it was a full-time job on its own. I still had normal tickets and issues I had to resolve as well. I couldn't do both and only work 40 hr a week. That was when I finally got told that if I simply recorded all of this, I could have been getting extra effort hours the whole time!!! No one just bothered to tell me. Apparently no one actually looks to see if you worked an excessive amount each week, just that you work at least 40 hr. Because for some reason, as salary, we are required to do 8 hr of work a day, and if we don't, then PTO gets deducted hourly. Make that make sense.
So my boss tells me that the workload should be decreasing soon once all the old equipment is pulled (at once), and that I had been doing a good job.
This gave me some hope. I thought, maybe, I might have some work-life balance. I just had to make it another month. And since he said I did a good job, maybe I might finally get some recognition! Sure, by that point, I have seen colleagues get recognized for much smaller things over and over while I got nothing, but hey, it just wasn't my time yet, I guess.
So last week was a test of if I will get extra effort pay. I will find out at the end of the month, although I feel like the odds are very low. That week was my calmest week yet. I only worked 10-12 hr a day every day! I was done working by almost 7 pm every day, it was great. I was still exhausted, but I got everything done. People had functioning devices to get their jobs done.
Last Wednesday, I made the mistake of mentioning how I was thankful for all my drive time counting since I lived more than 20 miles (the minimum distance needed for expensing mileage) from any site. You see, the travel policy for field techs said that the first and last travel of the day (so to and from home) didn't count towards your timesheet unless it was more than 20 miles (aka a "normal commute") away. This was just how I had interpreted this rule the whole time and my original boss agreed because it just felt like common sense. However, it turns out, my brain placed a comma where there shouldn't have been and in fact, reading back, I interpreted it wrong. Apparently, first and last travel doesn't count at all unless it is outside your assigned region. My region was just big.
And that was all my boss seemed to care about. My first and last travel will never count. REGARDLESS of the distance. Sure, if I cross into the next state, he considered that excessive enough (so around 3-4 hr one way), but he specifically asked me for a list of sites over TWO HOURS AWAY ONE WAY. I am supposed to just give away 4 hr of my day for free? After everything I have done for thing company?
Nearly all of my sites are around 1 hr 30 min to just under 2 hr away from my home without traffic. My closest is about an hour away. I cannot efficiently stop by the closest site every time on the way home. It would mean adding an extra 30 min to an hour just to stop by my closest site. I think this first/last site policy was made for people who live like 30 min away from their closest site at most. I guess I was a type that was never accounted for.
This puts me in an impossible situation because it feels like I really have only three choices if I stay here and they don't change their policy in my case:
I don't trust them anymore. I want to get out. I feel so unsafe. I have seen the worst in humanity when it comes to management and corporate, so I know exactly how bad it can get. I just have no support system. My lease is coming up for renewal at the end of this month and the landlords haven't gotten back to us. I can't afford to move. My credit score sucks right now. What if they just decide they don't want us to stay and don't tell us until the day the lease expires?
Now I am looking for a new job, but the work that I do I have done in a short period of time. My biggest hang-up is the length of my work experience, not the quality or skillset, simply because I am doing a job with less than 1 yr recent experience that most need 3-5 yr for. HR often times won't believe me. I had one phone screen but unfortunately, I don't have hands-on experience in configuring VMWare (my last job started training me in it before they went under) which was too important to not have. Which makes sense, they are looking for that type of skillset, and I don't have that specific experience.
I am just so tired. I don't know what to do. I know my company would bend over backward to remedy this because they cannot afford to lose this, but I worry about potential retaliation since it is so easy to hide in seemingly unrelated things. I worry about them trying to hire someone behind my back, and then because no one will believe me when I say I can do the things I do, I end up never getting hired again... then getting evicted... then my best friend loses his only safe space and chance to recover... I have so much to lose. I don't know what to do.
Oh, and I just found out my new work insurance doesn't cover therapy apparently, so I can't do my treatment anymore. I still have to find out a way to fork over the $400 I now owe which I didn't know I would be.
Has anyone been through anything like this before? What did you do?
submitted by Throwaway156469 to antiwork [link] [comments]
I have no support system. I have no savings. I am taking care of someone who means a lot to me and needs help, but can't get it yet. The point is, I have already been under so much stress that my work's reaction to all of this is simply pushing me over the edge and I don't know who else to ask. Who to reach out to. I don't know if things are going to be okay.
I picked up this really awesome field tech position a few months ago. After a month, my boss was no longer with the company... and it turned out he didn't train me at all. I learned more on my own the two weeks after he was gone than any of the month he was "training" me.
And over the course of the 4 months since, I have worked my butt off to keep this region afloat because I am the ONLY tech here. None of the equipment is updated. Vulnerable devices need to be located and liquidated ASAP. Purchasing is taking 3 and a half eons to get equipment out to sites so I have to work with not enough equipment... as all the old existing equipment begins to fail. None of the internal knowledge about the region was recorded either, so I had to identify that as well (ie what equipment we do have, what we don't, what is available for issue, what needs to be yeeted out a window, etc). The region is 2-4 hr wide in terms of drive time, so on average I usually end the day almost - but not quite - 2 hr away from home. I have to time it that way in order to reach all my sites before they close (often having to skip lunch and breaks). As a result, most of my drive time is at the beginning and end of the day.
It sucked. It meant that if I wanted this region to survive, I needed to put in excessive hours. But I am salary, and as far as I was told by that point, normal work in my region didn't qualify for any extra effort bonuses.
Now before I start, I want to address the why. Why did I tolerate all of this without pay, essentially? Well, to start, because as much as I would like to MC the hell out of them when they first started to drop the ball and make them realize how much I do, the client I take care of does amazing work for people and their communities. To only do my 40 hr a week would mean letting them suffer and fall. It would mean people not getting the help they need. And the other field techs were constantly getting recognized for much more minor things. What reason did I have to think I was going to be any different?
Now I managed to keep up. I put in 50-60 hr a week on average. It got to a point where I was solving so many issues simultaneously that if it wasn't major enough, I just didn't even put a ticket for it because I just didn't have TIME. Like, oh, you need a new mouse? Here is a cheap wired one I was about to throw away, try that.... as I work on these 40 other issues. I am not going to take 5 minutes to fill out a whole ticket about it when I start working at 8 am and finish working at 9 pm. I want to watch YouTube. I want to doomscroll Reddit. I want to sleep. I don't want to stay up making 40 tickets about people who don't understand how the monitor also has a power button and is in fact not a desktop. They are wonderful, beautiful people, and those issues and questions are very valid, so I take them very seriously. These people need to focus on their jobs that are helping so many people, not on petty IT problems. However... wasn't worth the effort of a whole ticket. Especially when I wasn't getting any extra effort pay. I used to do them at first but got burnt out too fast. On average my timecard now shows around 8.5-10 hr a day, sometimes the full 12-13 hr.
Now, I was about to start PTSD treatment so a couple of weeks ago I reached out to my boss to explain the situation. I told him the state of my region and that I will not be able to keep up with this anymore, especially when they keep asking me to find and wipe these old vulnerable devices to such an excess and in such a time frame that it was a full-time job on its own. I still had normal tickets and issues I had to resolve as well. I couldn't do both and only work 40 hr a week. That was when I finally got told that if I simply recorded all of this, I could have been getting extra effort hours the whole time!!! No one just bothered to tell me. Apparently no one actually looks to see if you worked an excessive amount each week, just that you work at least 40 hr. Because for some reason, as salary, we are required to do 8 hr of work a day, and if we don't, then PTO gets deducted hourly. Make that make sense.
So my boss tells me that the workload should be decreasing soon once all the old equipment is pulled (at once), and that I had been doing a good job.
This gave me some hope. I thought, maybe, I might have some work-life balance. I just had to make it another month. And since he said I did a good job, maybe I might finally get some recognition! Sure, by that point, I have seen colleagues get recognized for much smaller things over and over while I got nothing, but hey, it just wasn't my time yet, I guess.
So last week was a test of if I will get extra effort pay. I will find out at the end of the month, although I feel like the odds are very low. That week was my calmest week yet. I only worked 10-12 hr a day every day! I was done working by almost 7 pm every day, it was great. I was still exhausted, but I got everything done. People had functioning devices to get their jobs done.
Last Wednesday, I made the mistake of mentioning how I was thankful for all my drive time counting since I lived more than 20 miles (the minimum distance needed for expensing mileage) from any site. You see, the travel policy for field techs said that the first and last travel of the day (so to and from home) didn't count towards your timesheet unless it was more than 20 miles (aka a "normal commute") away. This was just how I had interpreted this rule the whole time and my original boss agreed because it just felt like common sense. However, it turns out, my brain placed a comma where there shouldn't have been and in fact, reading back, I interpreted it wrong. Apparently, first and last travel doesn't count at all unless it is outside your assigned region. My region was just big.
And that was all my boss seemed to care about. My first and last travel will never count. REGARDLESS of the distance. Sure, if I cross into the next state, he considered that excessive enough (so around 3-4 hr one way), but he specifically asked me for a list of sites over TWO HOURS AWAY ONE WAY. I am supposed to just give away 4 hr of my day for free? After everything I have done for thing company?
Nearly all of my sites are around 1 hr 30 min to just under 2 hr away from my home without traffic. My closest is about an hour away. I cannot efficiently stop by the closest site every time on the way home. It would mean adding an extra 30 min to an hour just to stop by my closest site. I think this first/last site policy was made for people who live like 30 min away from their closest site at most. I guess I was a type that was never accounted for.
This puts me in an impossible situation because it feels like I really have only three choices if I stay here and they don't change their policy in my case:
- Stop by my closest site on the way to work and on the way home everyday: I wouldn't even be doing any work at this site or able to get into the building since it would be after closing hours, so I worry about it being considered a sort of time fraud, like, you only went there to get extra money! You did nothing billable there, you should have just gone home! It would also add an extra 30 min to 1 hr everyday, just to have 2 hr of total drive time not count in the end. Driving an extra 30 min to 1 hr simply to make 30 to 1 hr of that 1.5 hr drive home count toward my time card feels so stupid. I would rather just go home at that point. "But what if you just work 30 min to 1 hr less then to make up for it," I have too much work to do and I don't want to let down these people who need their technology to do the great work they do.
- I could lie and say I went to my closest site on the way to and from home: personal principle here. I avoid lying at all costs - like Buddhist-level dedication here, just minus the actual Buddhism. Also, I feel like they can just later decide to fire me for time fraud after I end up being just too much hassle to deal. They can't fire me now, but what if they hire me some "help" who ends up simply being a replacement.
- Plan my day to arrive at my first site by 8 am and leave at 5 pm for an 8 hr day: You see, ironically, in this case, my drive time will count... because traffic! Remember that 2 hr remark from my boss? When you add traffic, almost all my travel time doubles. I make an effort to avoid traffic conditions so I can spend more time... you know... working... Leaving during normal people times on normal people roads will mean I will be spending probably around 5-6 hr a day driving to and from home (my time driving between sites always counted so that isn't the issue). So I would regularly be getting 14+ hr days. This would be my only option where I get a lunch break though.
- Keep doing what I am doing: I will only have around 8-9 hr count everyday, if even sometimes. On average about 3-4 hr of drive time will not count. I will be able to keep up with my region, not need to work as much as the other options, but I will never get any recognition. I don't have time for lunch breaks. I will be working for free. I have no motivation. It just makes me want to cry... I am also scared because with my mental health deteriorating, I know I cannot keep this up. I already collapsed these last two days, I am just so lucky my office managers and receptionists have been looking after me when I have been on site because I have been a complete mess. All I can think of is why? It makes me so hopeless.
I don't trust them anymore. I want to get out. I feel so unsafe. I have seen the worst in humanity when it comes to management and corporate, so I know exactly how bad it can get. I just have no support system. My lease is coming up for renewal at the end of this month and the landlords haven't gotten back to us. I can't afford to move. My credit score sucks right now. What if they just decide they don't want us to stay and don't tell us until the day the lease expires?
Now I am looking for a new job, but the work that I do I have done in a short period of time. My biggest hang-up is the length of my work experience, not the quality or skillset, simply because I am doing a job with less than 1 yr recent experience that most need 3-5 yr for. HR often times won't believe me. I had one phone screen but unfortunately, I don't have hands-on experience in configuring VMWare (my last job started training me in it before they went under) which was too important to not have. Which makes sense, they are looking for that type of skillset, and I don't have that specific experience.
I am just so tired. I don't know what to do. I know my company would bend over backward to remedy this because they cannot afford to lose this, but I worry about potential retaliation since it is so easy to hide in seemingly unrelated things. I worry about them trying to hire someone behind my back, and then because no one will believe me when I say I can do the things I do, I end up never getting hired again... then getting evicted... then my best friend loses his only safe space and chance to recover... I have so much to lose. I don't know what to do.
Oh, and I just found out my new work insurance doesn't cover therapy apparently, so I can't do my treatment anymore. I still have to find out a way to fork over the $400 I now owe which I didn't know I would be.
Has anyone been through anything like this before? What did you do?
2023.06.10 02:59 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Matthew Neer – Broadcast Mentor ✔️ Full Course Download
![[Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Matthew Neer – Broadcast Mentor ✔️ Full Course Download](https://external-preview.redd.it/sF0-AdFZ2-5PRX7JgL1Ih-mpSOsh5F5sU4g07Nsyxno.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=671bbcd7cb0ce1ac37d9d4a491584ea0259ab2d9 "[Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Matthew Neer – Broadcast Mentor ✔️ Full Course Download") | ➡️https://www.genkicourses.site/product/matthew-neer-broadcast-mento⬅️ submitted by AutoModerator to GenkiCourses_Dot_Com [link] [comments] Get the course here: [Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Matthew Neer – Broadcast Mentor ✔️ Full Course Download https://preview.redd.it/752iulmo925b1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5774f23d15b1060a7aa8c7fb5eb91d559f3319e5 We can provide proof of the course's contents. We can provide a screenshot of the course's contents or send you a freebie, such as an introduction video or another video from the course, to prove that we do have the course. Should you wish to request proof, we kindly ask you to reach out to us. Please be aware that our courses do not include community access. This is due to the fact that we do not have the authority to manage this feature. Despite our desire to incorporate this aspect, it is, unfortunately, unfeasible. Explore affordable learning at Genkicourses.site 🎓! Dive into a world of quality courses handpicked just for you. Download, watch, and achieve more without breaking your budget. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Description WHAT YOU GET?THE SYSTEM: Makes $10K/moTHE OFFERS: Hottest Products OnlineTHE PAGES: 1-Click Clone Proven PagesTHE EMAILS: Million Dollar Swipe FileTHE TRAFFIC: Done For You Buyers ListsBONUS #1: FB Personal CoachingFACEBOOK COACHING COMMUNITY — Get real time help, support and feedback about your Broadcast Mentor related questions from myself and other members. Invaluable to see others results & success!PERSONAL ATTENTION — Direct access to me personally via our Facebook Coaching Group! I’m in there every single day answering your questions! BONUS #2: 100% FREE Traffic HackNEVER PAY FOR TRAFFIC AGAIN — While you can buy traffic if you want, I think it’s much better to generate that exact same traffic, but for FREE!BUILD YOUR LIST 100% FREE — You will discover exactly how to build your list, without spending any money on ads. This is the exact same way that I built my first 10,000 person list and earned my first $10K online, and that I still use every single day! BONUS #3: Anti-Spam Hack3 TXT FILES — When you upload my 3 TXT Files, you will never hit the spam folder again!DOUBLE YOUR OPEN RATE — A really cool side benefit of my Anti-Spam Hack is that is also doubles your open rate and doubles your revenue! REVIVE ALMOST ANY LIST FROM THE DEAD! — Bring almost any list, no matter how old or un-engaged, back from the dead and producing record opens & clicks, and commissions fast! BONUS #4: 7 Day Cash CampaignDONE FOR YOU AUTOMATIONS — The 7 Day Cash Campaign is an email automation that you can 1-click clone into you account that runs on autopilot. DONE FOR YOU EMAILS — You get 7 Done For You Email Cash Campaigns that are proven to convert clicks into cash in any niche. Simply just clone it, turn it on, and let it run to produce commissions for you!BONUS #5: Buyers Lists For FB AdsCUSTOMER DATA — You can download the Buyers Lists in multiple different niches and use them to create super powered AI Targeting for Facebook Ads! FB ADS MASTERCLASS — This is a full on 6 figure education in FB Ads, I’m throwing it in as a bonus if you act now and get in. INSIDER ACCESS — Account bans? Profile restricted? We have a 99% success rate to get any banned asset back on fast!BONUS #6: High Ticket CommissionsSECRET OFFER — You get exclusive access to one of my top secret high ticket offers I promote that has personally earned me $357,045 HIGH TICKET COMMISSIONS — Routinely pull in $800, $1,600, and even $3,200 commissions easier than ever before! RECURRING HIGH TICKET — This particular high ticket offer is consumable, meaning people buy it again and again, earning you more sales!BONUS #7: 1v1 Coaching CallMEET & GREET! — I like to meet as many of my clients personally, as I can! This way I can better understand your needs and help you WIN! PERSONALIZED GAME PLAN — We’ll spend about 30 minutes going over your personal situation, define clear goals, and layout a plan for you to achieve success with my help!BONUS #8: 10,000 Buyers ClicksI WILL PROMOTE YOU! — If you take action on the call tonight, I will mail your affiliate funnel to my email list of over 250,000 subscribers, including all 25,000+ buyers of my products! LIMITED 10 PEOPLE ONLY! — Due to the nature of this bonus, I have to limit the number of people who get in. Act now and get your share of 10,000 clicks from my personal buyers list! |
2023.06.10 02:57 Imjustadumbbutt One week till camp check in artist showcase
 | In one week those of us camping will be arriving at the Gorge! So let’s look at some of the artist that we’ll be seeing next week! submitted by Imjustadumbbutt to BeyondWonderlandPNW [link] [comments] Hairitage: Origin; United States. Genre; Dubstep. Boasting 500K monthly listeners on Spotify, the bearded bass maestro Hairitage has become one of the most recognizable spectacles in dubstep since his breakout single “The Movement.” From there he’s released massive tracks with labels like Kannibalen Records, Monstercat, Dim Mak, Subsidia and Never Say Die with the latter’s most successful single of 2019 & 2020 via “40 Cal.” With his refreshing hip-hop meets bass signature, Hairitage has been one of the few producers to rise through the pandemic standing out thanks to his iconic blend of intense, yet colorful compositions. With Excision, Shaquille O'Neal, Black Tiger Sex Machine, Skrillex and The Chainsmokers at his back, there’s no stopping Hairitage from joining their top shelf echelon very soon. As a dominant live force at festivals like Lost Lands, Bass Canyon, Forbidden Kingdom and tours with BTSM, Kai Wachi and G-Rex x Buku, Hairitage has proven he can leave crowds speechless no matter the market. Find him at Cheshire Woods Saturday! James Hype: Origin; United Kingdom. Genre; House. With 12.5 million monthly listeners on Spotify, James Hype is arguably one of the UKs most important artists with his productions consistently forming the cornerstone of dance floors around the world, alongside his singles clocking hundreds of millions of streams, being accredited sales awards in the UK, and across Europe approaching half a billion cumulative streams worldwide. However, even these incredible accolades are shadowed by his world leading, unmatched ability as a DJ, standing alone at the spearhead of 21st century live mixing. Following his signing with The Cross Records/ Island Records UK, leading with his single ‘Afraid’ featuring HARLEE, and his follow up ‘Good Luck’ featuring Pia Mia, James Hype continues to secure daytime play listing, tens of millions of streams, and has further established himself in the US. James has also returned to his roots on the dancefloors, with a string of Beatport top 10 club releases including a collaboration with Vintage Culture and a number 1 chart single with Tita Lau. With his latest release ‘Ferrari’, currently occupying international chart positions and pegged to be a major global hit, James Hype firmly justifies his position at the pinnacle of festivals in 2022 with performances coming at Tomorrowland, EDC and Lollapalooza. Along with a set each day at EDCLV 2023 you can find him at Caterpillar’s Garden Sunday night. Kx5: The odd couple duo of legendary, iconic DJ’s Kaskade and DeadMau5. They have been collaborating on this project for just over a year and you, yes you can catch what’s sure to be a legendary possibly once in a lifetime set Saturday at Queen’s Valley! |
2023.06.10 02:55 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab ✔️ Full Course Download
![[Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab ✔️ Full Course Download](https://external-preview.redd.it/1mlUH8VyHQvIgD98nYs6dkbhzeuzwnP3cJ_i8VB7gE0.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=955a494bd640c4c28e2f557a5ed879a867a8f245 "[Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab ✔️ Full Course Download") | ➡️https://www.genkicourses.site/product/allie-bjerk-tiny-offer-lab/⬅️ submitted by AutoModerator to GenkiCourses_Dot_Com [link] [comments] Get the course here: [Genkicourses.site] Get: ✔️Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab ✔️ Full Course Download https://preview.redd.it/va7dz9d7925b1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=335ef9daab51f06354f8bbed8fd5133b8028d105 We can provide proof of the course's contents. We can provide a screenshot of the course's contents or send you a freebie, such as an introduction video or another video from the course, to prove that we do have the course. Should you wish to request proof, we kindly ask you to reach out to us. Please be aware that our courses do not include community access. This is due to the fact that we do not have the authority to manage this feature. Despite our desire to incorporate this aspect, it is, unfortunately, unfeasible. Explore affordable learning at Genkicourses.site 🎓! Dive into a world of quality courses handpicked just for you. Download, watch, and achieve more without breaking your budget. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Description What You Get:MODULE 1:The Tiny Offer Idea Generation ProcessIt All Starts With The Right Offer For The Right Audience…In Module 1, you’ll learn to avoid the mistakes most digital product creators make, that cost them HUGE profits — not to mention months of frustration and wasted time. We’ll dive in to… 5 reasons you need to be super clear on your WHO before you ever start building out your Tiny Offer Funnel How to use the 3P Method to easily identify your perfect WHO The 3 recession-proof niches you must be aware of before you narrow down your options Simple ways to validate demand and supply for your idea before you create your Tiny Offer The Stealth Map Method to learn how your ideal client feels, what they know, what they do, and what they buy Why your competition is irrelevant once you discover your blue ocean MODULE 2: Imagine Your Offer SuiteThe Most Crucial Piece Of Your Tiny Offer Success Puzzle Is Your Irresistible Offer…In Module 2, you’ll set up your 3-part Tiny Offer suite for maximum profits — and maximum results for your buyers. We’ll dive in to… The 3 types of problems you need to solve with your Tiny Offer Suite 3 easy questions to ask to generate ideas for your Tiny Offer and a simple system for validating your offer How to create and name one-of-a-kind frameworks for your offer Turning your framework into a product and finding the Standout Element of your offer How to use the Offer Suite Wheel to determine the dollar value of each component of your Tiny Offer MODULE 3: Nail Product CreationHigh-Converting Offers Have Pleasing Visuals And Practical Assets…In Module 3, you’ll create a unique style for your Tiny Offer and get down to brass tacks by building out assets. We’ll dive in to… How to brand the Tiny Offer way, including how to select eye-catching colors, fonts, and graphics The 10-minute logo method that will save you HOURS of head-banging-against-keyboard frustration The inside scoop on the BEST tools to use for slide creation, video recording, worksheet creation, and other assets Allie’s Go-to Equipment List with links to everything you need to create a polished Tiny Offer Suite MODULE 4: Your Stellar Sales PagesYou Won’t Get Any Traction Without A Sales Page That Speaks To Your Ideal Buyer…In Module 4, you’ll learn Allie’s secrets to copy that converts at each step in your funnel. We’ll dive in to… A walkthrough of Allie’s Livestream 365 and Client Multiplier Method Sales Pages, so you can understand the flow of the page and use these “swipes” for inspiration Customizable templates in Google Docs for your main offer sales page, check-out page, one-time offer page, and confirmation page Customizable video sales scripts in Google Docs for your main offer and one-time offer MODULE 5: Optimize Your E-Mail SequencesDon’t Downplay The Power Of Emails When You’re Selling Digital Products…In Module 5, you’ll learn how to circle back and reclaim lost sales and how to deliver exactly what your buyer expects. We’ll dive in to… Why potential buyers start buying but don’t finish checking out and how to recoup those “abandoned cart” sales using 3 simple emails Exactly what to include in your confirmation emails to ensure happy customers The secret to making sales after the sale by increasing cart value, nurturing your audience, and planting seeds for high-end offers Customizable templates in Google Docs for all email sequences MODULE 6: Focus On TechTech Doesn’t Have To Be Scary…In Module 6, you’ll get the step-by-step system for my recommended Tech Stack, learn how to make it work for you, and how to hire someone if you need to. We’ll dive in to… How to master creating lists, tags, and automations, so your email back-end flows seamlessly Setting up your sales page stack using my Clickfunnels template and how to make it your own The in’s and out’s of uploading and organizing your program assets in a course platform How to make your tech talk and work together for a smooth customer experience from start to finish MODULE 7: Engineer Your TrafficRake In The Sales Before You Ever Spend A Penny On Ads…In Module 7, you’ll learn the nuances of an organic traffic strategy and pick and choose what works for you from a menu of proven tactics. We’ll dive in to… How to get your first 100 buyers without investing in paid ads using the TOL Organic Traffic Strategy How to make ONE piece of content work 10X harder with a repurposing strategy + Allie’s Content Inspiration Swipe File The 4-Part High Converting Tiny Offer Webinar + Allie’s webinar slides template Tactics for a quick cash infusion for your paid ads, and how to create profitable, win-win partnerships MODULE 8: Fund Your AdsThe Paid-Ad Strategy To Put Your Profits On Autopilot…In Module 8, you’ll walk step-by-step through setting up, creating, launching, and troubleshooting your ad campaign. We’ll dive in to… What you need to have in place before you run Facebook Ads to your Tiny Offer and understanding the Ads Manager How to choose from the 3 types of ad campaigns based on the results you want How to profile your audience and choose an audience type, plus setting your budget, optimizing your ads, and using retargeting ads Creating compliant and effective ad copy + creative, and what to do if your ad is rejected or shut down Bonus: How to advertise your Tiny Offer on other platforms MODULE 9: ROI MultiplierYou’re Building A List Of Buyers — Time To Leverage That…In Module 9, you’ll learn exactly how to lead buyers of your Tiny Offer down the high-end path. We’ll dive in to… How to choose from the 3 types of High-Ticket Offers, map out your framework, and create your assets Hosting a live webinar to sign high-ticket clients and how to decide on the best webinar call to action Getting subscribers to register, show up, and buy — it’s all about the emails Customizable templates in Google Docs for opt-in page, webinar slides, emails, sales page, application page, and more BONUSES: Recorded Q+A Calls(Tech, Copywriting, Strategy, FB Ads)You’ll get to eavesdrop on 12 months worth of expert coaching calls from my high-end Tiny Offer Group Coaching Program. From Tiny Offer strategy, to tech, copywriting, and Facebook Ads, my team and I cover it all. Stuck on a particular point? Search by keyword and you’ll be directed to the exact timestamp in the calls on that topic. Free VIP Recording of Profit CampProfit Camp is a two-day event that is comprised of four value packed sections:Your 20 Hour Week @ $1k Per Hour Map Out Your High-Ticket Group Program Design Your VIP Offer Create an Irresistible Tiny Offer® A HUGE BUNDLE of Customizable Copy TemplatesSkip the overwhelm and frustration of creating everything from scratch by using my proven best-selling templates!*BRAND NEW* BONUS: Tiny Offer® Sales Page BuilderLet me write your ENTIRE sales page for you in just a few minutes using my Sales Page Copy Builder Tool. Simply answer a few questions and my algorithm will write your sales page for you! |
2023.06.10 02:55 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download
![[Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download](https://external-preview.redd.it/N7gMF964saFF2DvuQ0Myxt1EeqGVpmrJj6rlu4U-5B8.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3c1ab233bbbf9392a75f9ad9362ab45655efdf4c "[Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download") | ➡️ https://www.genkicourses.site/product/chris-orzechowski-badass-black-friday-bundle/⬅️ submitted by AutoModerator to Genkicourses_Com [link] [comments] Get the course here: [Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download What You Get:Course #1Black Friday BootcampThis is a short course I created for one of my e-commerce coaching groups. It outlines the high level strategy you need to use to MAXIMIZE sales for BFCM.I go over everything from how to map out your promo calendar… what emails to send when… exactly when you should START and FINISH your promo(s)… and, most importantly… … how to STAND OUT and grab attention in an overcrowded inbox, so you can break every sales record. Once you watch this mini-course, you’re going to be pumping out high-converting BFCM campaigns in no time! Course #2 Make It Rain MonthlyBFCM/Q4 Planning CallThis is a special “members-only” coaching call I recorded with a handful of my top students to help them prepare their clients’ brands for BFCM success.I even critique (and edit) a few of my students’ BFCM emails during this call. You can look over my shoulder and see how I think about constructing these email campaigns and sequences – super valuable! Course #3 Make It Rain Monthly Issue #8The Black Friday / Cyber MondayMEGA Issue Part 1
Make It Rain Monthly Issue #9The Black Friday / Cyber MondayMEGA Issue Part 2
Make It Rain Monthly Issue #20The Black Friday / Cyber Monday2021 Gameplan
Holiday Sale Super SequenceWant to scoop up even MORE sales during the holidays (without the hassle of figuring out your promo calendar)?This Holiday Sale Super Sequence is based on campaigns I still run for my agency clients that generate anywhere between $30-$50K — without fail. Comes with SIX email templates, a quick-start implementation video and super secret bonus. So if you want to generate massive sales easily every time there’s a holiday… then this training is going to help you make that happen. This sequence is PERFECT for BFCM… but you can even modify it to run other holiday sales throughout the year. Courses proof (screenshots for example, or 1 free sample video from the course) are available upon demand, simply Contact us here |