How old is tanya o rourke

Cross Stitch

2010.04.28 02:48 transcendhate Cross Stitch

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2008.06.15 05:00 Welcome to /r/tattoo!

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2013.10.16 18:24 AdolfSipster Jerma :)

All things Jerma

2023.05.29 06:40 Kel-B-Shobra Anyone have a custom shell file for these mad catz GameCube controllers ?

Anyone have a custom shell file for these mad catz GameCube controllers ?
Im currently looking for some options to customize one of these old madcatz controllers. I wanna take the innards out and 3d print a shell thats more smooth and doesnt bave these weird grips that dig into my hands so it looks clean still, i really dont wanna take a dremel to the old shell if possible. Mine is basically the same as the one in the picture just without the "macro" button, and mine also doesnt have a blue z button on the left only the right.
Anyone have any shell models already or know how i would go about getting the dimensions of the shell for making my own custom one?
submitted by Kel-B-Shobra to 3Dprinting [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:40 urfavsubby I don’t think I like my dad

Since having my first child, I (25F) don’t think I like my dad (59M). I appreciate what he’s done for me. He worked around 70 hrs a week for two years while my mom went back to school. He’s always helpful when it comes to fixing my car, he helped me buy my car. He helped me get my first job. He brought me dinner a few times while I was pregnant. He was there, which is the bare minimum, but also not something everyone can say about their father.
My dad is an alcoholic. A mean one. My house wasn’t too chaotic as far as abuse goes but it had some rough moments. He definitely yelled and berated us (I have two half brothers from my mom’s previous relationships) about our grades. I recall being told I wasn’t good enough and yelled at over getting a C, I had A’s in all my other classes.
While I was in college, I dropped a summer class because I wanted to enjoy having summer off after working hard all year, he yelled at me and told me I couldn’t even find a job without his help and I was stupid.
Being over sexualized at a young age because I developed seemingly overnight. One day in 7th grade, I wore a tank top to school and didn’t think anything of it because I wasn’t used to my new body and it was hot at my crappy school. Well, he noticed the tank top wasn’t in my drawer and went to my school, he pulled me out of school ( which was SO important to him) to make me come home and change. He almost made me change in front of him , he said “since you don’t have a problem showing everyone everything, I’m just gonna stand here and watch” luckily my mom was home and told him he was overdoing it and he left the room. After I changed he ripped the shirt into shreds… it was the first clothing item I bought with my own money.
He constantly made comments about my clothes and my body throughout my teens. How my boobs were big and he thinks I got that from his mom, things fitting me too tight, he noticed how my dirty underwear looked in the laundry room and felt the need to comment (why tf are you looking anyway). He got upset when I wouldn’t kiss him on the lips anymore, I was about 12/13 and hadn’t kissed him on my lips since I was probably 4/5. He said “if I was some boy at school you’d probably kiss me.” He kept asking me to until my mom made him leave me alone about it. One early morning before everyone else was awake he asked me to sit on his lap “like old times” I was probably 13/14, I did it but it made me feel really uneasy. The main reason I moved out was because he was accusing me of going out for “booty calls”, I was a night owl college student going out for chicken nuggets after finishing my homework.
The recent incidents that were the last straw involve my son (9 weeks). On first his day home after spending 10 days in the NICU, he kisses him. Who tf kisses a baby fresh out of NICU? Especially after I asked that no one kiss him because he’s considered high risk for respiratory illness and would likely need to be hospitalized again if he got sick. When I confronted him about it, he tried to play the victim. After getting the silent treatment for a week, he apologized and told me he would be on his best behavior around my son, this included not smoking around my son.
Well last weekend, we needed to sleep over at my parents house while our place got fumigated. Around 3am I finally got my son back to sleep, about 30 minutes later my dad goes in the bathroom and opens the window to smoke (it was around 50 degrees) my son wakes up because he’s cold. I see a towel stuffed under the door, he’s smoking. I get my mom because I didn’t know what to do or say. He tried to apologize but I knew he wasn’t sorry, he was sorry he got caught.
I HATE how he interacts with my son. He’s so loud, annoying and overwhelming. My baby cries or gets fussy when my dad comes around with his obnoxious baby talk. Tomorrow we’re supposed to visit for a barbecue and for my baby to meet his great aunts (my dads sisters), I really don’t wanna go. My dads sisters haven’t cared about me since I was a kid, they just wanna hold the baby.
Oh also, he and my mother (53F) car pool to work and he drives her around drunk. They work an hour from home and their commute includes a busy highway. He keeps telling her he’s gonna go to treatment but I think he’s stringing her along because she keeps giving him ultimatums (get help or move out).
I really can’t stand him anymore and wish I could visit my mom without him being around. God bless my mom for saving me so many times from his nonsense.
submitted by urfavsubby to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:40 LeutnantzurSeeFritz The Exploits of Irving Reese Part 29: It's a Wonderful Life

(You can also find this story, along with the previous parts here and here.)
A couple of months had passed since Halloween. The cool air of October gave way to the chill of November and December.
Before they knew it, Christmas had come. Enterprise and Irving were excited. It was Olin’s first Christmas, and their first Christmas as husband and wife.
Irving was busy helping Enterprise cook the Christmas feast. Yorktown II and Hornet II were already at their house, helping take care of Olin.
Hornet II smiled as she held Olin in her arms. “I can tell someone’s excited for their first Christmas.”
Olin giggled and cooed. Hornet II smiled.
The group heard a doorbell chime. Irving’s eyes went wide.
“I’ll get it.”
He opened the door to see Marsala, Vittorio Veneto, Littorio, and Fabio all at the door. Vittorio Veneto was holding Lucio’s carrier.
Irving smiled. “Merry Christmas, you guys.”
The group nodded and entered the house. Irving noticed Littorio and Vittorio Veneto placed the carriers next to Olin’s.
Irving smiled as he looked at Lucio. ”He’s so cute. He has his mother’s eyes.”
Vittorio Veneto giggled. “Yeah, but he got his father’s nose and dishwasher blonde hair.”
Enterprise leaned her head from the kitchen.
“Honey, I still need your help.”
Irving nodded and came back to the kitchen to help his wife. Vittorio Veneto was in the kitchen, helping Enterprise out, while Littorio was with Fabio and Marsala in the living room.
Enterprise smiled at Vittorio Veneto. “So, Vittorio, how did everything go with Lucio?”
Vittorio Veneto giggled. “It went well. All the walking I did on Halloween must have had a delayed effect, as I went into labor in afternoon on November 2nd. I first felt contractions during dinner, and I thought it was just bad gas or indigestion. My water broke while Marsala was taking a nap. ”
Vittorio Veneto looked at her husband and giggled.
“Oddly, Marsala was calm, as were Littorio, Fabio, Impero, Roma, and even little Maria. They drove me to the hospital. I thought Lucio was going to be quick, but he decided he wanted to take his time. Lucio Giancarlo Fasetti was born on November 3rd, at 12:01 AM. He took 9 hours and 27 minutes.”
Enterprise nodded as she listened to Vittorio Veneto’s story. “So you got a rule fallower like Joachim is to Bismarck?”
Vittorio Veneto nodded. “Yes. I have a feeling he, Louis, and Olin will get along well in the future.”
Enterprise looked at Irving and grinned. “Yeah, especially Louis and Lucio, as they have very similar-sounding names.”
Vittorio Veneto closed her eyes as she smiled and nodded. “I’ll be in the living room with my sister and the children if you need me.”
Soon, the doorbell chimed again. Littorio smiled as she got off the couch.
“I’ll get it!”
She smiled as she opened the door. “Ah, glad to see you could make it!”
Irving left the kitchen and walked to the front door. He smiled.
It was Fritz and Tirpitz. Bismarck and Heinz were behind them. All of their children had come with them.
Fritz smiled at Irving. He noticed Fritz was wearing his formal uniform, as was Heinz. Irving smiled.
“Glad to see you guys could make it!”
Fritz nodded as he sat on the couch. Soon, the doorbell chimed again. Fritz giggled as he got off the couch.
“I got it”
Fritz laughed and smiled.
“Ah, Herr Hall and Herr Jones! Glad to see you could make it!”
Malcolm and Oklahoma came inside, with Oklahoma holding Louis’s carrier. Samuel and New Jersey were with them.
Soon, everyone was at the party. Irving was busy slicing up the ham while Enterprise was getting the present wrapped up.
Suddenly, Irving heard a baby cry. He stopped what he was doing and checked on the children.
Both Louis and Olin were crying. Irving and Malcolm both looked at each other and sighed.
Irving held Olin in his arms. Malcolm was doing the same thing for Louis. Irving rocked him from side to side.
“It’s all right, little guy. Daddy’s here.”
Fritz smiled as he got up.
“Herr Reese, Let me try something.”
Irving nodded has he handed Olin to Fritz.
Fritz sat next to Tirpitz and held Olin. He smiled.
“Edelweiss, Edelweiss, every morning you greet me.”
“Strong and white, clean and bright. You look happy to meet me”
Olin stopped crying upon listening to Fritz’s soft singing. Soon, he giggled.
Tirpitz smiled. Irving's mouth was open. She looked at Irving with a slight smile.
“Heh. That song always calmed down Moritz and the others when they were babies.”
Fritz smiled as Tirpitz kissed him on the cheek. Fritz placed Olin back in his carrier. Bismarck giggled.
“Yeah. I remember you teaching me that song, sister. It was a great help with both Helga and Joachim.”
The group nodded. Littorio giggled.
“Mine was always Ave Maria. That always seemed to calm Maria down, and I told Vittorio Veneto about it as well.”
Enterprise smiled as she leaned her head from the kitchen.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but the food is done.”
“I hope I’m not too late!”
The group turned to see Nevada at the front door, her jacket covered in snow. Oklahoma smiled.
“Your right on time, sis.”
“Can you do me a favor?”
Nevada nodded. “Sure. What do you need?”
“I need someone to set up the watch over the kids' table.”
Nevada nodded. “Sure. I got that covered.”
Nevada got to work, helping set up the small table. She smiled as she looked at the children.
“Hey, kiddos! Come get a seat!”
Moritz smiled as he gestured to his siblings and cousins to follow him. With the children seated, Irving got the food out on the dining room table.
Irving and Enterprise served the food. After a while, everyone got some food.
Fritz smiled as he ate some ham. “This ham is amazing, Irving. It tastes like something Gert would make.”
Irving was confused. “Who’s Gert?”
Fritz smiled. “Gert was our cook on a U-boat I served on back in the day. That son-of-a-”
A glare from Tirpitz stopped Fritz. She pointed at the nearby kids' table.
“Gun. Could cook the best food with nothing but some hot plates, an electric oven, and a dream. I wish you got to meet him.”
Irving nodded. “I know what you mean by that last part. I wish you got to meet my old squad leader, Robert. It sounds like you guys would’ve gotten along.”
Fritz nodded.
“It’s alright. Let’s not lament the past and try to look towards the future.”
Tirpitz placed her hand on Fritz’s lap. He smiled. Bismarck smirked.
“Spoken like a poet.”
Samuel giggled. “Ay, to our futures!”
Irving smirked at Samuel. “I didn’t think you would be the one to lead the toast. Guess there’s a first time for everything.”
The group laughed as they raised their glasses in the air.
“To our futures.”
The group clinked their glasses and ate. Nevada was hard at work watching over the children, making sure they were alright.
After they finished eating, the group made their way to the living room for presents.
However, before they could begin, the doorbell rang.
Irving got up to answer it. He opened the door.
It was the Commander. He smiled.
“I hope I’m not too late!”
Irving smiled. “Well, you missed dinner, but you came just in time for presents.”
The Commander nodded as he entered the door.
“Sorry, I’m late guys. I was at the Royal Navy’s Christmas party.”
The group nodded.
The Commander smiled. “Oh, I got these for some couples here.”
He reached into a tote bag.
The Commander handed a small cardboard box to Littorio and Fabio.
The couple opened it and gasped.
It was a Christmas ornament with Maria on it, saying “Maria’s first Christmas.”
Littorio gasped. “Thank you, Commander.”
The Commander nodded as he handed both Vittorio Veneto and Marsala and Enterprise and Irving a small cardboard box.
The two couples gasped as they opened it.
Inside were Christmas ornaments, similar to the ones Littorio and Fabio had received, but they were different.
Vittorio Veneto and Marsala got one that was Lucio, and it said, “Lucio’s first Christmas.” While Enterprise and Irving got one of Olin, that said “Olin’s first Christmas.”
The couple smiled at the Commander.
"Thank you, Commander."
Irving got up to place the ornament on the tree.
The Commander’s eyes went wide as he reached into his tote bag. “Okie, Malcolm, I nearly forgot. This is for you.”
The Commander handed them a small cardboard box. Oklahoma opened it and gasped.
It was an ornament with Louis on it, saying “Louis’s first Christmas.”
The Commander smiled. “I figured I would make it special and have you guys have two baby-themed ornaments.”
Oklahoma smiled as she hugged the Commander. “Thank you, Commander. That was really thoughtful.”
The Commander smiled as she placed the ornament on the tree, right next to the one she received last year.
Soon, the group unwrapped the gifts they got for each other. Irving got all the children a comic book, while Enterprise got every adult a Christmas sweater.
Everyone smiled at the gifts they received. Irving smiled.
“Personally, being with all of you guys, after the hectic year we had, is the best Christmas gift of all.”
The group nodded as the Commander sat up. He pulled out the bottle of scotch that he got from Irving last Christmas. It was three quarters full.
“Irving, I’ve yet to finish this bottle of scotch that you gave me last Christmas. Let’s say we finish it.”
Irving nodded and got out some shot glasses. Soon, Fritz, Heinz, Malcolm, and Samuel all had shots of scotch in their hands.
After a while, the bottle was empty. The men were having trouble standing after doing at least three shots of scotch between them.
Irving was sitting in a chair. Samuel giggled.
“I suppose I’ll give the Commander his present.”
He reached under the Christmas tree for a long cardboard box that said “To The Commander: From Sammy:”
The Commander opened the box with some help from Nevada. Inside was a bottle of whiskey. Samuel giggled.
“I suppose we make it a tradition. Every Christmas one of us gets the Commander a bottle of booze, and he’ll use it for toasts. If that bottle is not empty by the time the next Christmas comes around, we all drink it at Christmas and get him another.”
The Commander nodded. “Sounds like a good plan, Sammy.”
Samuel nodded. “I suppose I’ll let New Jersey tell you the next thing.”
New Jersey got up.
She pulled out a small box. The group raised their eyebrows at her.
New Jersey opened the box. Inside was a golden ring with a diamond on it.
“We’re engaged.”
Enterprise’s eyes went wide. She ran up to New Jersey and hugged her.
“Congrats NJ! That’s amazing news!”
New Jersey smiled. “I figured you would be excited about it, Enty. The wedding will be in May. I hope all of you will come to the wedding.”
The group nodded. Oklahoma smiled.
“I would not miss it for the world.”
New Jersey sat down at the table.
Enterprise looked at the men. She looked at Bismarck and Oklahoma.
“It’s clear none of them are in a state to drive. You guys feel like being drunk wranglers?”
Bismarck and Oklahoma nodded.
“Yeah. We just need help to move them into a room and a person to watch over them.”
Enterprise nodded as she looked at Nevada and Tirpitz.
“Nevada, Tirpitz, can you watch the children?”
Nevada and Tirpitz nodded.
Enterprise looked at Hornet II and Yorktown II.
"Can you guys set up some sleeping bags and cots for the men to sleep on in the living room? Everyone else can help me carry them to the living room."
Hornet II and Yorktown II nodded.
Soon, the other shipgirls carried the men into a room. Samuel groaned.
“Should old acquaintance be forgot?”
Bismarck sighed. “Great, one of them is singing. What should I do?”
Oklahoma sighed. “Just let him sing.”
Irving giggled.
"Clink. Clink. Another drink. Plenty in the cellar when it's gone."
Enterprise sighed as she placed her husband on his side on a sleeping bag.
Soon, all the men were on sleeping bags, cots, and blankets that were spread out on the living room floor. Vittorio Veneto and Littorio all got things for the men to vomit in.
Bismarck sighed. “Jesus. This is reminding me of Irving’s bachelor party.”
Oklahoma laughed. “Yeah. And this is also reminding me of Enterprise’s bachelorette party, with all of her group passing out on my living room floor.”
Enterprise giggled. “I remember you having to be the drunk wrangler, even though you were eight months pregnant.”
Oklahoma sighed. “That feels so long ago.”
Enterprise smiled. “A lot can happen in a year.”
Oklahoma nodded. Her eyes went wide.
“Enty, we have another problem. Where are the children going to sleep?”
Enterprise froze. She placed a finger on her chin.
Bismarck smiled. “They could sleep with us. Moritz, Max, Marlene, Helga, and Joachim are old enough.”
Enterprise nodded. “That only leaves Maria, Olin, Lucio, and Louis.”
Littorio raised her hand. “The babies can sleep in the nursery in their carriers.”
Enterprise nodded. “Sounds like a good plan.”
“Alright, so who will watch over the men, and who will watch over the babies?”
New Jersey and Vittorio Veneto raised their hands.
“I’ll watch over the men. Vittorio Veneto will watch over the babies. The rest of us will watch over each other and the children.”
Enterprise nodded. “Got it. I’ll be in the room with the girls and the older children.”
Soon, the shipgirls went to sleep. New Jersey was on the sofa, watching over the unconscious men as if they were 24K gold bars.
Enterprise got Vittorio Veneto a cot to sleep on, and she joined the other shipgirls. She had some cots, blankets, and sleeping bags set up for the group.
A few hours passed. Suddenly, the night calm broke.
Enterprise and the others looked around. They could see Bismarck was sitting up.
“Bismarck! You alright?”
Bismarck looked down at herself and saw an odd light brown-shaped thing in her sleeping bag. She sighed.
“Relax. It's only Joachim. He scared me. He must have gotten cold and crawled into the sleeping bag with me.”
She sighed.
“Can’t believe I almost punted my son across the room.”
The group sighed. But this calm was only temporary, as all the babies wailed, one after the other.
Enterprise and Oklahoma got up to check on Vittorio Veneto and the babies. They saw Vittorio Veneto. Her eyes were wide as saucers as all four babies were crying. She looked at them and sighed.
“I think Bismarck’s screaming woke them up.”
Enterprise held Olin in her arms. Oklahoma did the same with Louis, and Vittorio Veneto held Lucio in her arms.
Littorio joined the group, holding Maria in her arms.
“Ave Maria, Vergin del ciel”
Maria stopped crying upon hearing her mother’s singing. The other babies also stopped crying.
Littorio smiled as, one by one, the babies went back to sleep. She giggled.
“Huh. I guess the babies like music.”
Enterprise smiled and placed Olin back in his crib. The other women did the same by placing their babies back into their carriers.
Enterprise made her way to the living room, where New Jersey was. New Jersey was sitting on the couch, trying not to fall asleep.
Enterprise smiled at her as she sat next to her. “It sounds like this Christmas is one we will never forget.”
New Jersey giggled. “Yeah, but we will have one hell of a mess to clean up in the morning.”
Enterprise nodded as she grabbed a plaid blanket. She saw Irving lying on his side and smiled. She lay down next to him and covered themselves with the blanket.
Soon, she fell asleep.
submitted by LeutnantzurSeeFritz to AzureLane [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:40 theruthisloose Trip report: 6 day work trip in combination mild + tropical weather

Trip report: 6 day work trip in combination mild + tropical weather
Hi all, I travel a lot for work on sketchy airlines. Thus I am always trying to perfect my carry-on only set up! Here is a recent trip itinerary:
  • Day 1> Fly to Australia (mild weather), overnight
  • Day 2> Fly to Vanuatu (tropical weather)
  • Days 3-4> Work
  • Day 5> Fly to Australia (mild weather), overnight
  • Day 6> Fly back home


  • Random coach backpack my MIL got my from the outlets, maybe 25l?
  • Baggu packable tote, black
  • Random woven crossbody purse (stuffed inside the Baggu)
My two bags. The woven purse is inside the black tote, along with my camera equipment and anything I would need easy access to on the plane.


All of this goes into two random hand-me-down packing cubes I've accumulated over the years. Shoes go in a plastic grocery bag.
  • Shirts:
    • Athleta turquoise linen wrap shirt
    • H&M brown wrap shirt
    • Target white button down (great, multipurpose piece) (worn)
    • REI turquoise t-shirt
    • REI crop trop / yoga bra thing
    • Work-issued polo
    • Black Diamond rain jacket (worn)
  • Dress:
    • Amazon floral dress (super cheap, which also means the material is super thin and easy to pack)
  • Bottoms:
    • Calvin Klein jeans (normally I wouldn't bring jeans but Australia was quite chilly so I wanted the thicker pant) (worn)
    • Athleta Brooklyn black pants (very thin, great for packing and for tropical weather)
  • Workout:
    • Workout bra, quick dry t-shirt, quick dry shorts (The most important thing for workout gear is that I can wash it every day in my sink and it be dry by the morning. That way I only have to bring one set)
  • Intimates:
    • 8x underwear, various Target brand (1 worn)
    • 1 underwire bra (worn)
    • 1 soft bralette
    • 3x Icebreaker wool socks (love these) (1 worn)
  • Shoes:
    • Black pointed-toe Rothys (I just got these and I like how thin and light they are)
    • Old navy flip flops (flip flops are a must when traveling in the South Pacific)
    • Vivobarefoot primus trail knit black sneakers (amazing onebag shoe!! super light and can be worn on travel days, to the gym, or on the trail) (worn)
Clothes and shoes - PJs, undergarments, and workout gear not included.


I have one small random bag I use as a tech pouch for the chargers. The rest goes in the laptop section of my backpack or my tote.
  • Macbook Air
  • Two iPhones (work and personal)
  • Kindle
  • Apple Airpods
  • Canon DSLR (necessary for work) + accessories
  • iPhone charger, mini-USB, Macbook charger
  • Wall block w/plug converter


  • Anko large PVC pencil case (these things are amazing! so durable and cheap. I wish I could find a link for you all):
    • See photo caption below
  • Random small canvas pouch:
    • Hair ties
    • Bobby pins
    • Tweezers
    • Nail clippers
    • Mascara
    • Eyebrow pencil + sharpener
    • Lipstick
    • Concealer + small brush
    • Multi stick (used for blush)
    • Two-in-one hairbrush and comb (foldable)
    • Toothbrush (used for brushing back baby hairs when my hair is up)

Toiletries. Top row: toothpaste, bug spray, conditioner, hair gel, toothbrush. Second row: itch cream, deodorant (decanted), mouth guard and floss, contact solution. Third row: face wash, face sunscreen, and homemade dry shampoo all in 1oz eye dropper bottles from Amazon, day and night lotion in the blue contact case, vitamin c serum and prescription in the green and white case, random pills in an old ear plug case. Bottom row: small slivers of shampoo and body bars in the Matador flatpack soap container, extra set of contacts, contact lens case, razor.
Packed, with makeup case


  • Anko pencil case:
    • Passports
    • Pens
    • Foreign sims (in an old gum container)
    • Foreign currency (held with a paper clip)
    • Boarding passes (this size pencil case is the exactly perfect size to fit a standard boarding pass)
    • Entry slips / customs forms, as needed
  • Anko pencil case:
    • 6 granola bars, tea bags, instant coffee (snacks are a must for travel in places with unpredictable food supply)
    • Fork and spoon
  • Random Walmart wallet w/ cards, currency, coins
  • Lifestraw water bottle (seriously a lifesaver and plastic saver when you are traveling someone the water is not potable)
  • Glasses, prescription sunglasses, non-prescription sunglasses
  • Small umbrella
  • Small first aid kit
  • Notebook
  • 10 Lysol wipes
  • 2-3 sheets of laundry detergent + Tide pen in a ziplock bag


Overall, I thought I packed really well! With my camera gear and water bottle in my tote, the backpack weighed 8.5kg, but no one tried to weigh my bag. If I had been doing domestic travel in Vanuatu, I would have to get that down to 7kg.
I was wishing for a warmer jacket or a sweater while on my two overnight transits, so I might try to bring a packable down jacket next time.
I need a new backpack. This one is killing my back!! If you have any recommendations, please drop them here or in my post here.
Any feedback on how I can lighten the load or any feedback at all is welcome. Thank you for reading!
submitted by theruthisloose to HerOneBag [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:39 xyzidek NBSB good girl (21F) is falling for R4R ideal boy (21M) she's never met irl, is it stupid lol how to landi responsibly 🥹

**this'll be a long one, sorry 💀
might be cringe but yes, i'm the textbook good girl: nbsb, soft-spoken, mahinhin, nice, scholar & consistent achieveawardee, creative skills, the ate/mom friend that everyone wonders bakit wala pang jowa 🤡
and most importantly, the person you'd least expect to be lurking in phr4r lol insert disclaimer na i don't go there anymore at di naman ako madalas doon, i'm just a curious lil good girlie, with crippling low confidence, and i never post + rarely interact bc most ppl be wild there ngl
even so, r4r can be a downward spiral talaga, it was addicting and indulgent esp for me, someone who rarely receives compliments and has never had a boyfriend 🥲 i'm not too shabby naman, i present and carry myself well. in all fairness, my r4r stint helped me feel more confident with myself so that's at least one positive takeaway lol
so yes, we met in r4r. long story short, he posted, i responded. started out wholesome, we got along well! exchanged photos and vms, and after seeing and hearing him, boy was i smitten—he's so attractive to me, dare i say my exact type 🥲 honestly the type that ppl would use to catfish or pose as so i was extra skeptic but he's the real thing naman lol
and guess what, it made my introverted, good girl, always-waited-for-the-man-to-initiate self step up?? she really went for it and hinted at talking about more nsfw things? (kasi nga so far, it's been wholesome chitchat)
and... so we did lol photos and flirts were exchanged, and i swear, it's not some nasty, wild af dialogue, it's more like playful banter between us, and i just felt that our energies matched each other really well <33
and 3 months later, we talk in messenger now 🫶🏼 friends on fb and all (verified that he's real through and through bc of this lol), shared a few calls, helped each other out with acads (we're both in college), got to know each other a bit more with a few spicy interactions in between lol
needless to say: he's truly my type, i am smitten 😔😔 he's attractive, smart, speaks and writes well, matching humor, passionate advocate/active student leader, a cat dude (lol), takes great photos, likes cooking?? and more. like a postetextbook IG bf, the kuya to my ate energy HAHA but tbh our funniest/weirdest similarity talaga is we're both prim and proper ppl that just impulsively went on r4r 😭
syempre, he has downsides din: he plays games too much and splurges on drinking outside, with or without friends, among other things. aminadong kaladkarin lol
but still, he's become my biggest crush and yes, ever since i met him, i have stopped r4r altogether—bc i think he's the best encounter i could ever have 🥹
he inspires me so much that i started taking better care of myself, smiling when he crosses my mind. i always think of sharing whatever fun, cute, good lil thing happened in my day to him and i always hope he's doing well <33 days are a little brighter ever since. friends even noted na wow, blooming daw ako recently, anong meron HAHAHA
we would talk about hypothetical dates and he would share activities or places we could go to around manila, or what he'd wear when we get to meet so we'd match, or how it'll be his turn to tease me throughout my stressful final year in college bc he's finally done with it (graduating next month! so proud <33 wow??)
it's all become really cute and cuddly, no? maybe i should end the storytime on a good note here, it's too long already. like for part 2? CHZ
but yeah, gentle reminder na all of this happened ONLINE. we have NEVER MET bc he's from the metro and i'm not (tho nearby naman, neighboring province)
now my dilemma is: is this my nbsb self being juvenile, overexcited, and frankly, delulu LOL.
kasi narealize ko: the whole story sounds cute and all but he rarely initiates convos with me? he will always reply but never start. parang vending machine that matches my input HAHAHA (if i send a fit check pic, he sends one too. if i share snaps of what i'm doing/eating/where i'm at, he sends his too.) also realized na i ask more abt him than he does abt me.
he's gradwaiting now and i understand he has his own life but he has more free time than me (going thru finals week 💀) and yet, i find time to send quick lil msgs to him. even just as friends, is it demanding of me to hope na kumustahin niya acads ko or mag-skl siya ng random kwento or what? to basically make an effort to keep the convo going?
i think factor na rin na never pa kami nagkita or spent time together irl. he did say he's more of a quality time & physical touch boy so he prolly appreciates irl interactions more than virtual ones.
i'm still busy with finals but after this sem, i'm actually considering meeting up with him and hanging out to gauge din how he is like irl. (o diba, i'm actually willing to travel to mnl to meet him, sana siya rin to my area chz) i felt a connection, albeit stronger for me than it is for him probably lol, and i think it's a good way to gauge how we really feel for each other so far? it's long overdue din i believe lol would you agree?
another dilemma is: i am starting to like him and i'd love to date him in the future. but is it wise to keep talking to him when i'm not really interested in relationships anytime soon? forda landi responsibly lol i wanna graduate first and get a job before committing to anything serious.
anyway, it's been almost a week since we last spoke. i got react zoned lol and got busy with acads. haven't heard from him so far. i see him having game nights on discord with friends, i'm so tempted to msg him but i really wanna see if he'll msg me somehow if i don't.
please slap me with reality ates and kuyas lol he's one hell of a totga if it ends now, but ig so am i? 😤
tl;dr nbsb good girl found a gem of a dude on phr4r and dare i say, hit it off with him. the catch is it's all online, and i'm wondering if i should continue talking to him despite noticing one-sided convo patterns. should i try meeting up with him as a lowkey ultimatum on whether or not i should continue our convo? am i being juvenile, overexcited, and delulu? lol
thank you for reading this far! 🫶🏼
submitted by xyzidek to relationship_advicePH [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:39 goody_fyre11 I lost an expensive ship in a way I didn't know was possible. I want to see to it that its cargo isn't lost.

Didn't know the proper flair for this so I hope this one is correct.
I'm relatively a noob at this game. I do know a lot of how it works, and I'm learning more as time goes on, but this game is so massive that even having played it for years, I feel like I don't know even 99.99% about it.
This has just now bitten me in the rear end again, as I've lost my second ship, but in a way I didn't know was possible. Considering a few days ago was my first ever trip into non-highsec, I've never interacted with other players, and I'm an alpha clone, losing a second ship is really painful, especially since I worked hard for the ISK for this one - a Catalyst Navy Issue I got recently, to replace my old Catalyst I got for free from some tutorial thing involving getting 1 PLEX for a skin.
Anyways, I saw these Guri Makalm sites pop up after the Capsuleer Day event started, and I visited a few, ships in there never did anything with me around them, but I left each time, nothing eventful ever happened. This time though, I was instantly obliterated, and I couldn't leave as I couldn't dock for some reason? I've never seen this before and nothing indicated that this site would be 100x as hostile as all the normal Serpentis Hideaways around it, even the two Serpentis Escalations were so much easier, and I only recently learned about them.
This ship was actually more than twice as expensive due to the three rigs I put in it, probably tripling the cost, and I can't even get the expensive gear from the wreck I'm looking at right now as I type this. I tried sending in a really cheap ship just to see if it was me firing off a few shots that agro-d the enemies but nah, they shoot on sight, but only this time for some reason.
I don't know how to give precise info on the wreck's location, but it's at a Guri Makalm site in Oursulaert, if you're able to see the owner then it's me, character name Zin Rensula. Why would I reveal that information when experienced players can probably track down locations using so much less? Well given how I know the playerbase is a mix of good samaritans, noobs like myself, and people in it for the wealth, I imagine there's a good chance someone will find it. Even if no one comes along with good intentions, at least it won't be deleted or despawn. I no longer care if I don't have it, I just care that the 3-ish million ISK worth of gear and ammo go to waste, as I imagine everything in an event space will go away forever when the event ends. As long as someone is using it at all, or it's put back into the market, I'd have peace of mind.
While typing the previous sentence, another player entered and is surviving just fine while being attacked the same way, but the enemies are the ones falling. Seems I have a lot to learn still. He's about to destroy all the ships, so if I leave the site will disappear along with my stuff, so I'm going to stay next to the wreck in my pod for as long as I can, maybe that'll make finding it easier - they don't seem to care about the pod which is interesting.
submitted by goody_fyre11 to Eve [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:38 ttthroway2312 My sister is considering sending her 9 year old son to Trails Carolina

Hello Troubled Teens,
I am a TTI survivor in my mid 30s, as is my older half brother. Our sister has been working with education consultants, Aaron Aldridge and Shannon Devilbiss, talking about sending her 9 year old son to Trails Carolina for behavioral issues. I guess the problem is that he bullies his younger brothers and CPS showed up to their house after an incident where the kid had some kind of meltdown, ran into his room, and the father opened the door onto his face. When the kid went to school the next day, he told his teacher that his father hit him and so CPS was sent. I think they are of the mindset that the kid is causing problems, is a danger to his siblings, and is a legal risk to them.
My sister knows of my poor experience, and knows of our brother's which was especially awful. However, she still will not listen to me. I have shared links describing the abuse at Trails. She doesn't "trust what she reads on the internet." I even talked to my therapist about it who has treated kids who have been to Trails. And my sister wouldn't trust my therapist because she described my sister as "having her head in the sand" which upset my sister because her parenting was being criticized I guess. I have been working with my mom who sent me away when I was younger, but has since learned how much of a mistake that was, has also told my sister it was the worst decision of her life, but my sister will still not listen to us. There was a moment where it seemed like I was going to take the kid to live with me for the moment, but now I don't think they're going to let me do that. Any advice? really at a loss here.
submitted by ttthroway2312 to troubledteens [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:37 Candid_Flight_2253 I can understand

I feel like you want me. I feel like you fear me. I feel like you're interested but a little intimidated. Maybe you're just uninterested and musing. I think she wants me. I just feel like there is more that I'd missing here sometimes. I can understand why you'd think it was an overstep. I was trying to be caring and gentle. That's most everything I'm interested in expressing. I can be awkward and miss things. I can say the wrong things at the wrong times. I understand. Were old now. You gotta decide what you like and don't. I hope you're happy. I hope you take nothing but a compliment. I do not want to mess anything up. I feel like if we both indulged it would feel that way sometimes. I thought about how complicated it could be. I imagine myself calming and guiding us through it all. I imagine trust, acceptance and deep love. I want to love you through her. I don't want to bully you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to take anything. If there is someone that would take or give I would want to be it. I wouldn't want you not knowing if you were here looking to know. I respect you. I respect your family. I want in sometimes. I understand whatever it is and I will do my absolute best to never be a bother. I just kept feeling like yall were always there to not only support but embrace a love. It's unexplainable. I can understand how id be completely delusional for imagining we could actually share, and embrace solidary, teamwork and workmanship. I can understand also how youd want it if you do.
I just hope you know that no matter what you feel or think, I'm not judging you. I can understand.
submitted by Candid_Flight_2253 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:37 LambSauceConnoiseur I regret having my son

My son has been nothing but a burden ever since he was born. He's never excelled at anything. He struggles to make friends, he never gets good grades. He's always been lazy, and I've enabled him to be that way. We had to transfer him out of middle school because he would refuse to go to class out of fear of his classmates "bullying" him. He's a coward. I told him to stand up for himself, I've had multiple meetings with his teachers to resolve his problems but none of them have ever change anything. Against my better judgement, I agreed to send him abroad for high school. Despite the fact that I strained me financially, despite the fact that I knew the school he was going to was nothing but money-making scam profiteering off of international students. I did it because I hoped he would change, because I love him.
He dropped out 3 semesters into his education. His school counsellor told me it was because he was severely "depressed" and that he was planning on killing himself. That was bullshit. If he were depressed he wouldn't have spent most of his semester playing video games, as he told me. If he were suicidal he would've done it already. He's a spoiled, ungrateful child.
He's 20 years old now, a fully grown adult and he's been the same ever since he dropped out. He never leaves his room, he wakes up at noon everyday, and he does nothing but play games all day. And I know he's been drinking, even though I've prohibited him from doing so. He drinks behind his back, god knows how he manages to get alcohol. I've tried to stop him, but he always finds a way. He's a lazy, degenerate, drunkard.
I want him to be better. I've sent him to countless therapy sessions but he never changes. He treats me like an atm machine. He never smiles at me, never laughs, or treats with me kindness. He avoids talking to me as much as he can, and every conversation we've had has not lasted for more than a minute.
I would've kicked him out already if it weren't for my wife. She spoils the boy. She's half the reason he became how he is now. I wish I hadn't never had him. He's my only child. My wife and I have tried so hard to have another kid, but it has never worked out. I don't blame her. I blame myself. I failed to raise my son. Now's he's just a burden to society, and myself. Sometimes I wish he was dead.
submitted by LambSauceConnoiseur to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:37 zahra_loverrr I’m a 16 Year old cuck virgin for my 16 year old high school big titty bestie Zahra. New to cucking and need an experienced man to teach me the ways, I was also told any info asked to give I have to give. Dm here or kik Miles.sane (I want full cuck treatment no matter how bad it is)

I’m a 16 Year old cuck virgin for my 16 year old high school big titty bestie Zahra. New to cucking and need an experienced man to teach me the ways, I was also told any info asked to give I have to give. Dm here or kik Miles.sane (I want full cuck treatment no matter how bad it is) submitted by zahra_loverrr to cuckik_paige1 [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:36 PenguInATux Which option would choose for Fall before Spring Matriculation

So I currently have three options about how to spend my Fall before Grad school, and I keep getting conflicting advice, so I’d ask here. My college is 3 hours away from my parents, and it’s where I did my Undergraduate, so I already know people there. I DJ on the weekends as a side-hustle, so that and moving away is making it hard to figure out what to do
Option 1: Move home and work full time ($19/hour) at my old job
Option 2: Move home, work part time ($19/hour), and do the “DJ” side hustle in my college town every weekend ($400 cash)that’s 3 hours away
Option 3: Stay at college and find a job there, and pay rent (apartments go for approximately $1,000/month)
I’m just confused on what the best option would be, so I wanted to get outside opinions. Thanks for reading all of this!
submitted by PenguInATux to GradSchool [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:36 celestial_axolotl00 Are parents supposed to be this way?

So I (22) live with my parents (67m and 63f), because they want me to until I become married and because I have disabilities that cause me to not be able to be alone. Because of said disabilities, I cannot work, so the help support me (until I am approved for disability that is). I also have a boyfriend (24) who I plan on marrying in the near future.
Living with my parents is agonizing, to say the least. They put my ideas down, always complain that I did something wrong so much so that when they are about to speak I almost expect them to say something about myself and how I am in trouble, and just feel that they are better than everyone else in the way that they live their lives (although they would never openly admit it).
Here are just a few examples of how they are:
-my parents know that I am planning on marrying my boyfriend, and when I talk about my plans they either shoot them down as “that’s too expensive, I’m not helping you monetarily with that” or “there’s no time to be thinking of happy things, remember, your father is dying of cancer” (my dad has had cancer since 2010, his diagnosis isn’t anything new, and he’s been stable with it since then. I also deal with depression myself, so it’s nice to think about a happy event like my wedding, which almost every time is shot down with how bad my dad is doing. They tell me to “be happy” but then actively make me think about depressing things)
-a family member of mine had psychologically and verbally abused me when I was 10 years old over a period of 4 months, which to this day still affects me. When I tell them about my issues, it is met with “here we go again” and “we don’t want to hear about this!”. They want me to get better but don’t want to hear about my issues that are plaguing my mind. Not only that, but sometimes when I tell them stuff it is met with “well, what did you do to deserve this?” Mind you, I was 10 YEARS OLD. At one point when I was being abused, I literally felt like I had to touch my feces, which usually is a sign of abuse. Which my parents have made me out to be the villain in that situation and made me feel even more disgusting than I already do.
-I’m adopted, and my parents let me know at least once every other week how lucky I should feel about being adopted by them. If I feel badly about my predicament, then that means I’m not appreciative of them. Which I don’t know how I should be, when my mom has let me know a couple of times that she “didn’t want me at first” which stings, but stings even more when she tells me how she really wanted to adopt my second cousin (my cousins (who was 14 at the time) daughter). “Such a pretty girl. I really wanted her.”
-absolutely NONE of the issues above or any issue that happens in the household should be shared, either to my boyfriend or my therapist, because that’s throwing them under the bus, and they have threatened to cut cell service to my phone if I share anything.
I’ve told my therapist about these problems, and she says that “that’s just the way normal parents are” and that they really love me, but I don’t know, I don’t think parents act this way. Do normal parents act this way?
submitted by celestial_axolotl00 to therapy [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:36 iarebrandon At what point is a marriage sexless?

34male here married to 35f with 2 kids age 9/15. High school sweethearts. Used to have a strong sexual relationship but over past few years her drive has really gone down. Weird thing is that our lives have gotten nothing but better in past few years. But we’ve gotten further apart. I do more than my share in our partnership. I am the main provider as far as income by a long shot. I do most of the cooking and the cleaning is pretty split. I take care of the dogs. She’s a great mom and does a lot for them though I do take daughter to gymnastics and help drive them around when needed. Kids are mostly old enough to take care of themselves.
Sex will not happen unless I make the move. And when I do it’s clear it’s a gift. Once I decided to see how long it would go and it was about 10 weeks, and she was not that into it when we finally did. It’s always missionary or nothing. No blowjobs, they’re gross now I guess. No handjobs. I had a conversation about how I felt. She apologized and said she just doesn’t think about it. Maybe it’s stress she said. We have had this talk 3 times now and I’m not planning on having another. I’m ready to have a conversation to tell her I don’t want to be intimate anymore and that we can be roommates. I believe this is a better option than divorce as we have a very nice home and get along well outside of this issue. We have become great friends.
My birthday I hoped for something. Got Nothing. Recently went on a vacation to Clearwater Disney. Had our own room away from kids but no touching. I feel very unappreciated and not desired. I am 100% confident there is no other man.
Has anyone gone through something similar and recovered?
submitted by iarebrandon to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:35 JoshAsdvgi THE BADGER AND THE BEAR



On the edge of a forest there lived a large family of badgers.
In the ground their dwelling was made.
Its walls and roof were covered with rocks and straw.
Old father badger was a great hunter.
He knew well how to track the deer and buffalo.
Every day he came home carrying on his back some wild game.
This kept mother badger very busy, and the baby badgers very chubby.
While the well- fed children played about, digging little make-believe dwellings, their mother hung thin sliced meats upon long willow racks.
As fast as the meats were dried and seasoned by sun and wind, she packed them carefully away in a large thick bag.
This bag was like a huge stiff envelope, but far more beautiful to see, for it was painted all over with many bright colors.
These firmly tied bags of dried meat were laid upon the rocks in the walls of the dwelling. In this way they were both useful and decorative.
One day father badger did not go off for a hunt.
He stayed at home, making new arrows.
His children sat about him on the ground floor.
Their small black eyes danced with delight as they watched the gay colors painted upon the arrows.
All of a sudden there was heard a heavy footfall near the entrance way.
The oval- shaped door-frame was pushed aside.
In stepped a large black foot with great big claws.
Then the other clumsy foot came next.
All the while the baby badgers stared hard at the unexpected comer.
After the second foot, in peeped the head of a big black bear!
His black nose was dry and parched.
Silently he entered the dwelling and sat down on the ground by the doorway.
His black eyes never left the painted bags on the rocky walls.
He guessed what was in them.
He was a very hungry bear.
Seeing the racks of red meat hanging in the yard, he had come to visit the badger family.
Though he was a stranger and his strong paws and jaws frightened the small badgers, the father said,
"How, how, friend!
Your lips and nose look feverish and hungry.
Will you eat with us?"
"Yes, my friend," said the bear.
"I am starved.
I saw your racks of red fresh meat, and knowing your heart is kind, I came hither.
Give me meat to eat, my friend."
Hereupon the mother badger took long strides across the room, and as she had to pass in front of the strange visitor, she said:
"Ah han! Allow me to pass!" which was an apology.
"How, how!" replied the bear, drawing himself closer to the wall and crossing his shins together.
Mother badger chose the most tender red meat, and soon over a bed of coals she broiled the venison.
That day the bear had all he could eat.
At nightfall he rose, and smacking his lips together, -- that is the noisy way of saying "the food was very good!" -- he left the badger dwelling.
The baby badgers, peeping through the door-flap after the shaggy bear, saw him disappear into the woods near by.
Day after day the crackling of twigs in the forest told of heavy footsteps.
Out would come the same black bear.
He never lifted the door-flap, but thrusting it aside entered slowly in.
Always in the same place by the entrance way he sat down with crossed shins.
His daily visits were so regular that mother badger placed a fur rug in his place.
She did not wish a guest in her dwelling to sit upon the bare hard ground.
At last one time when the bear returned, his nose was bright and black.
His coat was glossy.
He had grown fat upon the badger's hospitality.
As he entered the dwelling a pair of wicked gleams shot out of his shaggy head.
Surprised by the strange behavior of the guest who remained standing upon the rug, leaning his round back against the wall, father badger queried: "How, my friend! What?"
The bear took one stride forward and shook his paw in the badger's face.
He said: "I am strong, very strong!"
"Yes, yes, so you are," replied the badger.
From the farther end of the room mother badger muttered over her bead work: "Yes, you grew strong from our well-filled bowls."
The bear smiled, showing a row of large sharp teeth.
"I have no dwelling.
I have no bags of dried meat.
I have no arrows.
All these I have found here on this spot," said he, stamping his heavy foot.
"I want them! See! I am strong!" repeated he, lifting both his terrible paws.
Quietly the father badger spoke: "I fed you.
I called you friend, though you came here a stranger and a beggar.
For the sake of my little ones leave us in peace."
Mother badger, in her excited way, had pierced hard through the buckskin and stuck her fingers repeatedly with her sharp awl until she had laid aside her work.
Now, while her husband was talking to the bear, she motioned with her hands to the children.
On tiptoe they hastened to her side.
For reply came a low growl.
It grew louder and more fierce.
"Wa-ough!" he roared, and by force hurled the badgers out.
First the father badger; then the mother.
The little badgers he tossed by pairs.
He threw them hard upon the ground.
Standing in the entrance way and showing his ugly teeth, he snarled,
"Be gone!"
The father and mother badger, having gained their feet, picked up their kicking little babes, and, wailing aloud, drew the air into their flattened lungs till they could stand alone upon their feet.
No sooner had the baby badgers caught their breath than they howled and shrieked with pain and fright.
Ah! what a dismal cry was theirs as the whole badger family went forth wailing from out their own dwelling!
A little distance away from their stolen house the father badger built a small round hut.
He made it of bent willows and covered it with dry grass and twigs.
This was shelter for the night; but alas! it was empty of food and arrows.
All day father badger prowled through the forest, but without his arrows he could not get food for his children.
Upon his return, the cry of the little ones for meat, the sad quiet of the mother with bowed head, hurt him like a poisoned arrow wound.
"I'll beg meat for you!" said he in an unsteady voice.
Covering his head and entire body in a long loose robe he halted beside the big black bear. The bear was slicing red meat to hang upon the rack.
He did not pause for a look at the comer.
As the badger stood there unrecognized, he saw that the bear had brought with him his whole family.
Little cubs played under the high-hanging new meats.
They laughed and pointed with their wee noses upward at the thin sliced meats upon the poles.
"Have you no heart, Black Bear?
My children are starving.
Give me a small piece of meat for them," begged the badger.
"Wa-ough!" growled the angry bear, and pounced upon the badger.
"Be gone!" said he, and with his big hind foot he sent father badger sprawling on the ground.
All the little ruffian bears hooted and shouted "ha-ha!" to see the beggar fall upon his face.
There was one, however, who did not even smile.
He was the youngest cub.
His fur coat was not as black and glossy as those his elders wore.
The hair was dry and dingy.
It looked much more like kinky wool.
He was the ugly cub.
Poor little baby bear! he had always been laughed at by his older brothers.
He could not help being himself.
He could not change the differences between himself and his brothers.
Thus again, though the rest laughed aloud at the badger's fall, he did not see the joke.
His face was long and earnest.
In his heart he was sad to see the badgers crying and starving.
In his breast spread a burning desire to share his food with them.
"I shall not ask my father for meat to give away.
He would say 'No!' Then my brothers would laugh at me," said the ugly baby bear to himself.
In an instant, as if his good intention had passed from him, he was singing happily and skipping around his father at work.
Singing in his small high voice and dragging his feet in long strides after him, as if a prankish spirit oozed out from his heels, he strayed off through the tall grass.
He was ambling toward the small round hut.
When directly in front of the entrance way, he made a quick side kick with his left hind leg.
Lo! there fell into the badger's hut a piece of fresh meat.
It was tough meat, full of sinews, yet it was the only piece he could take without his father's notice.
Thus having given meat to the hungry badgers, the ugly baby bear ran quickly away to his father again.
On the following day the father badger came back once more.
He stood watching the big bear cutting thin slices of meat.
" Give -- " he began, when the bear turning upon him with a growl, thrust him cruelly aside. The badger fell on his hands.
He fell where the grass was wet with the blood of the newly carved buffalo.
His keen starving eyes caught sight of a little red clot lying bright upon the green.
Looking fearfully toward the bear and seeing his head was turned away, he snatched up the small thick blood.
Underneath his girdled blanket he hid it in his hand.
On his return to his family, he said within himself :
"I'll pray the Great Spirit to bless it."
Thus he built a small round lodge.
Sprinkling water upon the heated heap of sacred stones within, he made ready to purge his body.
"The buffalo blood, too, must be purified before I ask a blessing upon it," thought the badger.
He carried it into the sacred vapor lodge.
After placing it near the sacred stones, he sat down beside it.
After a long silence, he muttered: "Great Spirit, bless this little buffalo blood."
Then he arose, and with a quiet dignity stepped out of the lodge.
Close behind him some one followed.
The badger turned to look over his shoulder and to his great joy he beheld a Dakota brave in handsome buckskins.
In his hand he carried a magic arrow.
Across his back dangled a long fringed quiver.
In answer to the badger's prayer, the avenger had sprung from out the red globules.
"My son!" exclaimed the badger with extended right hand.
"How, father," replied the brave;
"I am your avenger!"
Immediately the badger told the sad story of his hungry little ones and the stingy bear.
Listening closely the young man stood looking steadily upon the ground.
At length the father badger moved away.
"Where?" queried the avenger.
"My son, we have no food. I am going again to beg for meat," answered the badger.
"Then I go with you," replied the young brave.
This made the old badger happy.
He was proud of his son.
He was delighted to be called "father" by the first human creature.
The bear saw the badger coming in the distance.
He narrowed his eyes at the tall stranger walking beside him.
He spied the arrow.
At once he guessed it was the avenger of whom he had heard long, long ago.
As they approached, the bear stood erect with a hand on his thigh.
He smiled upon them.
"How, badger, my friend!
Here is my knife.
Cut your favorite pieces from the deer," said he, holding out a long thin blade.
"How!" said the badger eagerly.
He wondered what had inspired the big bear to such a generous deed.
The young avenger waited till the badger took the long knife in his hand.
Gazing full into the black bear's face, he said:
"I come to do justice.
You have returned only a knife to my poor father.
Now return to him his dwelling.
His voice was deep and powerful.
In his black eyes burned a steady fire.
The long strong teeth of the bear rattled against each other, and his shaggy body shook with fear.
"Ahow!" cried he, as if he had been shot.
Running into the dwelling he gasped, breathless and trembling, "Come out, all of you!
This is the badger's dwelling.
We must flee to the forest for fear of the avenger who carries the magic arrow."
Out they hurried, all the bears, and disappeared into the woods.
Singing and laughing, the badgers returned to their own dwelling.
Then the avenger left them.
"I go," said he in parting, "over the earth."
submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:34 callmebym0net How to ask my (26F) extremely shy coworker (28M) out

Should I (26F) take initiative or am I making my coworker (28M) uncomfortable?
Hi! First of all, sorry for any mistakes as english is not my first language. I (26F) really like my (28M) coworker. I am a textbook extrovert, feel the most comfortable being the centre of attention. He is the total opposite - extremely shy guy, pretty much will not speak publicly unless addressed directly and even then he will only answer with monosylables.
For the past year, we have been assigned to the same project, so we've been spending a lot of time together and grew sort of close, and I found myself hoping he'd make a move, because I have started to really like him. I've tried being subtly flirty, but to be honest I can't really read where he's at. I can tell he is more comfortable with me than anyone else, he will go out of his way to start a conversation, joke around with me, or i'll catch him looking at me when we are in a bigger group, but it's all so small it doesn't really feel like it's anything, lol.
As i've said, i'm very extroverted so I am not really used to "reading signs" - if I like someone, i'll usually just go for it, and worst case scenario I just don't get the date and move on. I've asked a lot of guys and girls out, thats not really a big deal to me. But I am sort of hesitant in this case, not only because he is someone I work closely with but also because he is so incredibly shy I worry I will make him extremely uncomfortable if he just found one person he could open up with and I try to hit on him, if that makes sense. As a woman I can absolutely relate to just being friendly with someone and having men read it as flirting, and how annoying that can be.
Lastly because I feel like it does make a difference - at 26 years old i've spent most of my life thinking I was simply aromantic, because i have dated many men and women and only truly felt a connection one single time, when I was 19. So while I would maybe just let this go if I thought it would be my usual casual thing, I really feel like I owe it to myself to explore further when I feel a connection with someone, and I truly think this could be something good.
I guess my ask here is basically just how to go about asking him out considering he is a coworker and EXTREMELY shy, so as not to make him uncomfortable?
submitted by callmebym0net to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:34 alaskanperson How should I be supportive of my sister who is getting engaged to a guy with huge red flags?

My sister (F37) went on a first date with a guy (M41) April 8, 23. Ever since then this guy has been love bombing her by buying her lots of things, and even paid her mortgage last month for her. My sister does well enough, about $50k/year and has a 7 year old daughter that she shared custody with her crazy ex husband with. Today we talked and she told me that he was showing signs that he was going to propose to her next weekend and I wasn’t super stoked about it, which ended in an argument. This guy seems nice enough… but the love bombing with money thing is a huge red flag to me. Especially since they’ve been dating for a month and a half. They’ve known each other for 17 years apparently (small town shit) but now are together. I just don’t know how to be supportive of her if she does say yes to him proposing because these scream huge red flags to me. Additional info - they started dating because he messaged her on Facebook. At the time of that message he was engaged to another woman. The other woman was in jail (and still is till September) because of property damage she did to his older brothers construction company. He finally broke things off with her three weeks ago (three weeks into dating my sister) He also has his own company which is why he can buy all these things for her. I guess I am just thinking what I should do/say when she eventually says they are engaged (she said that she would say yes if he proposed in our convo today). Should I lie to her and say congrats? Should I be skeptical like I already have been? I don’t want to ruin what should be a big day for her. My sister lives in a small town and she’s an attractive girl, but also gets really enamored with guys really quickly, basically she’s way out of this guys league. He’s… well he’s 41 with 2 kids from another relationship.
submitted by alaskanperson to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:33 JoshAsdvgi THE BAD WIFE



There was once a man who had but one wife.
He was not a chief, but a very brave warrior.
He was rich, too, so he could have had plenty of wives if he wished ; but he
loved his wife very much, and did not want any more.
He was very good to this woman.
She always wore the best clothes that could be found.
If any other woman had a fine buckskin dress, or something very pretty, the man would buy it for her.
It was summer. The berries were ripe, and the woman kept saying to her husband, "Let us go and pick some berries for winter."
" No," replied the man. " It is dangerous now. The enemy is travelling all around."
But still the woman kept teasing him to go. So one day he told her to get ready.
Some other women went, too. They all went on horseback, for the berries were a long way from camp.
When they got to the place, the man told the women to keep near their horses all the time. He would go up on a butte near by and watch.
"Be careful," he said. " Keep by your horses, and if you see me signal, throw away your berries, get on your horses and ride towards camp as fast as you can."
They had not picked many berries before the man saw a war party coming.
He signaled the women, and got on his horse and rode towards them.
It happened that this man and his wife both had good horses, but the others, all
old women, rode slow old travois horses, and the enemy soon overtook and killed them.
Many kept on after the two on good horses, and after a while the woman's horse began to get tired ; so she asked her husband to let her ride on his horse with him.
The woman got up behind him, and they went on again.
The horse was a very powerful one, and for awhile went very fast ; but two persons make a heavy load, and soon the enemy began to gain on them.
The man was now in a bad plight ; the enemy were overtaking him, and the woman holding him bound his arms so that he could not use his bow.
"Get off," he said to her. "The enemy will not kill you. You are too young and pretty.
Some one of them will take you, and I will get a big party of our people and rescue you."
" No, no," cried the woman ; " let us die here together." " Why die ? " cried the man.
" We are yet young, and may live a long time together.
If you don't get off, they will soon catch us and kill me, and then they will take you any how. Get off, and in only a short time I will get you back."
" No, no," again cried the woman ; " I will die here with you."
" Crazy person ! " cried the man, and with a quick jerk he threw the woman off.
As he said, the enemy did not kill her. The first one who came up counted coups and took her.
The man, now that his horse was lightened, easily ran away from the war party, and got safe to camp.
Then there was great mourning.
The relatives of the old women who had been killed, cut their hair and cried.
The man, too, cut off his hair and mourned. He knew that his wife was not killed, but he felt very badly because he was separated from her.
He painted himself black, and walked all through the camp, crying.
His wife had many relations, and some of them went to the man and said : " We pity you very much. We mourn, too, for our sister.
But come. Take courage. We will go with you, and try to get her back."
" It is good," replied the man. " I feel as if I should die, stopping uselessly here.
Let us start soon." That evening they got ready, and at daylight started out on foot.
There were seven of them in all. The husband, five middle-aged men, the woman's relations, and a young man, her own young brother.
He was a very pretty boy.
His hair was longer than any other person's in camp.
They soon found the trail of the war party, and followed it for some days.
At last they came to the Big River, and there, on the other side, they saw many lodges.
They crept down a coulee into the valley, and hid in a small piece of timber just opposite the camp.
Toward evening the man said : "All, my brothers. To-night I will swim across and look all through the camp for my wife.
If I do not find her, I will cache and look again to-morrow evening.
But if I do not return before daylight of the second night, then you will know I am killed.
Then you will do as you think best.
Maybe you will want to take revenge. Maybe you will go right back home.
That will be as your hearts feel."
As soon as it was dark, he swam across the river and went all about through the camp, peeping in through the doorways of the lodges, but he did not see his wife.
Still, he knew she must be there. He had followed the trail of the party to this place.
They had not killed her on the way. He kept looking in at the lodges until it was late, and the people let the fires go out and went to bed.
Then the man went down to where the women got their water from the river.
Everywhere along the stream was a cut bank, but in one place a path of steps had been made down to the water's edge.
Near this path, he dug a hole in the bank and crawled into it, closing up the entrance, except one small hole, through which he could look, and watch the people who came to the river.
As soon as it was daylight, the women began to come for water.
Turn, tiim, turn, turn, he could hear their footsteps as they came down the path, and he looked eagerly at every one.
All day long the people came and went, the young and old ; and the children played about near him.
He saw many strange people that day. It was now almost sunset, and he began to think that he would not see his wife there.
Turn, turn, tuni, turn, another woman came down the steps, and stopped at the water's edge.
Her dress was strange, but he thought he knew the form.
She turned her head and looked down the river, and he saw her face.
It was his wife. He pushed away the dirt, crawled out, went to her and kissed her.
"Kyi,'' he said, " hurry, and let us swim across the river.
Five of your relations and your own young brother are waiting for us in that piece of timber."
"Wait," replied his wife. "These people have given me a great many pretty things.
Let me go back. When it is night I will gather them up, steal a horse, and cross over to you."
" No, no," cried the man. " Let the pretty things go ; come, let us cross at once."
" Pity me," said the woman. " Let me go and get my things. I will surely come to-night.
I speak the truth." " How do you speak the truth? " asked her husband.
, " That my relations there across the river may be safe and live long, I speak the truth."
" Go then," said the man, " and get your things. I will cross the river now."
He went up on the bank and walked down the river, keeping his face hidden.
No one noticed him, or if they did, they thought he belonged to the camp.
As soon as he had passed the first bend, he swam across the river, and soon joined his relations.
" I have seen my wife," he said to them, " She will come over as soon as it is dark.
I let her go back to get some things +hat were given her."
" You are crazy," said one of the men, " very crazy.
She already loves this new man she has, or she would not have wanted to go back."
" Stop that," said the husband ; " do not talk bad of her.
She will surely come." The woman went back to her lodge with the water, and, sitting down near the fireplace, she began to act very strangely.
She took up pieces of charred wood, dirt, and ashes in her hands and ate them, and made queer noises.
" What is it?" asked the man who had taken her for a wife. " What is the matter with you ? " He spoke in signs.
The woman also spoke in signs. She answered him : " The Sun told me that there are seven persons across the river in that piece of timber.
Five of them are middle-aged, another is a young boy with very long hair, another is a man who mourns.
His hair is cut short."
The Snake did not know what to do, so he called in some chiefs and old men to advise with him.
They thought that the woman might be very strong medicine.
At all events, it would be a good thing to go and look.
So the news was shouted out, and in a short time all the warriors had mounted their best horses, and started across the river.
It was then almost dark, so they surrounded the piece of timber, and waited for morning to begin the search.
"Aja," said one of the woman's relations to her husband.
" Did I not speak the truth ? You see now what that woman has done for us."
At daylight the poor husband strung his bow, took a handful of arrows from his quiver, and said : " This is my fault.
I have brought you to this. It is right that I should die first," and he started to go out of the timber.
"Wait," said the eldest relative. " It shall not be so. I am the first to go.
I cannot stay back to see my brother die. You shall go out last." So he jumped out of the
brush, and began shooting his arrows, but was soon killed.
" My brother is too far on the road alone," cried another relation, and he jumped out and fought, too.
What use, one against so many? The Snakes soon had his scalp.
So they went out, one after another, and at last the husband was alone.
He rushed out very brave, and shot his arrows as fast as he could.
" Hold ! " cried the Snake man to his people.
" Do not kill him ; catch him.
This is the one my wife said to bring back alive. See ! his hair is cut short."
So, when the man had shot away all his arrows, they seized and tied him, and, taking the scalps of the others, returned to camp.
They took the prisoner into the lodge where his wife was.
His hands were tied behind his back, and they tied his feet, too. He could not move.
As soon as the man saw his wife, he cried. He was not afraid.
He did not care now how soon he died.
He cried because he was thinking of all the trouble and death this woman had caused. " What have I done to you," he asked his wife, " that you should treat me this way?
Did I not always use you well? I never struck you.
I never made you work hard."
"What does he say?" asked the Snake man.
" He says," replied the woman, " that when you are done smoking, you must knock the ashes and fire out of your pipe on his breast."
((( Meaning that his brother's spirit, or shadow, was travelling alone the road to the Sand Hills, and that he must overtake him.)))
The Snake was not a badhearted man, but he thought now that this woman had strong medicine, that she had Sun power ; so he thought that everything must be done as she
When the man had finished smoking, he emptied the pipe on the Piegan's breast, and the fire burned him badly.
Then the poor man cried again, not from the pain, but to think what a bad heart this woman had.
Again he spoke to her. " You cannot be a person," he said. " I think you are some fearful animal, changed to look like a woman."
"What is he saying now? " asked the Snake.
** He wants some boiling water poured on his head," replied the woman.
" It shall be as he says," said the Snake ; and he had his women heat some water.
When it was ready, one of them poured Hot water of it here and there on the captive's head and shoulders.
Wherever the hot water touched, the hair came out and the skin peeled off.
The pain was so bad that the Piegan nearly fainted.
When he revived, he said to his wife : " Pity me. I have suffered enough.
Let them kill me now. Let me hurry to join those who are already travelling to the Sand Hills."
The woman turned to the Snake chief, and said, " The man says that he wants you to give him to the Sun."
"It is good," said the Snake. "Tomorrow we move camp.
Before we leave here, we will give him to the Sun."
There was an old woman in this camp who lived all alone, in a little lodge of her own.
She had some friends and relations, but she said she liked to live by herself.
She had heard that a Piegan had been captured, and went to the lodge where he was.
When she saw them pour the boiling water on him, she cried and felt badly.
This old woman had a very good heart.
She went home and lay down by her dog, and kept crying, she felt so sorry for this poor man.
Pretty soon she heard people shouting out the orders of the chief.
They said : " Listen ! listen ! Tomorrow we move camp.
Get ready now and pack up everything. Before we go, the Piegan man will be given to the Sun."
Then the old woman knew what to do.
She tied a piece of buckskin around her dog's mouth, so he could not bark, and then she took him way out in the timber and tied him where he could not be seen.
She also filled a small sack with pemmican, dried meat, and berries, and put it near the dog.
In the morning the people rose early. They smoothed a cottonwood tree, by taking off the bark, and painted it black.
Then they stood the Piegan up against it, and fastened him there with a great many ropes. When they had tied him so he could not move, they painted his face black, and the chief Snake made a prayer, and gave him to the Sun.
Every one was now busy getting ready to move camp.
This old woman had lost her dog, and kept calling out for him and looking all around. " Tsis'-if" she cried. " Tsis'-if Come here.
Knock the dog on the head ! Wait till I find him, and I'll break his neck."
The people were now all packed up, and some had already started on the trail. "Don't wait for me," the old woman said.
"Go on, I'll look again for my dog, and catch up with you."
When all were gone, the old woman went and untied her dog, and then, going up to where the Piegan was tied, she cut the ropes, and he was free.
But already the man was very weak, and he fell down on the ground.
She rubbed his limbs, and pretty soon he felt better.
The old woman was so sorry for him that she cried again, and kissed him.
Then the man cried, too. He was so glad that some one pitied him.
By and by he ate some of the food the old woman had given him, and felt strong again.
He said to her in signs : " I am not done. I shall go back home now, but I will come again.
I will bring all the Piegans with me, and we will have revenge."
" You say well," signed the old woman.
" Help me," again said the man. " If, on the road you are travelling, this camp should separate, mark the trail my wife takes with a stick.
You, too, follow the party she goes with, and always put your lodge at the far end of the village.
When I return with my people, I will enter your lodge, and tell you what to do."
"I take your speech," repHed the old woman. "As you say, so it shall be."
Then she kissed him again, and started on after her people.
The man went to the river, swam across, and started for the North.
Why are the people crying? Why is all this mourning?
Ah ! the poor man has returned home, and told how those who went with him were killed. He has told them the whole story.
They are getting ready for war. Every one able to fight is going with this man back to the Snakes.
Only a few will be left to guard the camp. The mother of that bad woman is going, too.
She has sharpened her axe, and told what she will do when she sees her daughter.
All are ready. The best horses have been caught up and saddled, and the war party has started, hundreds and hundreds of warriors.
They are strung out over the prairie as far as you can see.
When they got to the Missouri River, the poor man showed them where the lodge in which they had tortured him had stood.
He took them to see the tree, where he had been bound.
The black paint was still on it.
From here, they went slowly. Some young men were sent far ahead to scout.
The second day, they came back to the main body, and said they had found a camping place just deserted, and that there the trail forked.
The poor man then went ahead, and at the forks he found a willow twig stuck in the ground, pointing to the left hand trail.
When the others came up, he said to them : " Take care of my horse now, and travel slowly. I will go ahead on foot and find the camp.
It must be close. I will go and see that old woman, and find out how things are."
Some men did not want him to do this ; they said that the old woman might tell about him, and then they could not surprise the camp.
" No," replied the man. " It will not be so. That old woman is almost the same as my mother. I know she will help us."
He went ahead carefully, and near sunset saw the camp. When it was dark, he crept near it and entered the old woman's lodge.
She had placed it behind, and a little way off from, the others.
When he went in the old woman was asleep, but the fire was still burning a little.
He touched her, and she jumped up and started to scream ; but he put his hand on her mouth, and when she saw who it was she laughed and kissed him.
"The Piegans have come," he told her. "We are going to have revenge on this camp tonight.
Is my wife here?"
" Still here," replied the old woman. "She is chief now.
They think her medicine very strong."
"Tell your friends and relations," said the Piegan, " that you have had a dream, and that they must move into the brush yonder.
Have them stay there with you, and they will not be hurt.
I am going now to get my people."
It was very late in the night. Most of the Snakes were in bed and asleep.
All at once the camp was surrounded with warriors, shouting the war cry and shooting, stabbing, and knocking people on the head as fast as they came out of the lodges.
That Piegan woman cried out : " Don't hurt me. I am a Piegan.
Are any of my people here ? "
" Many of your relations are here," some one said. " They will protect you."
Some young men seized and tied her, as her husband had said to do.
They had hard work to keep her mother from killing her.
''Hai yah/ " the old woman cried. "There is my Snake woman daughter.
Let me split her head open."
The fight was soon over.
The Piegans killed the people almost as fast as they came out of their lodges.
Some few escaped in the darkness.
When the fight was over, the young warriors gathered up a great pile of lodge poles and
brush, and set fire to it.
Then the poor man tore the dress off his bad wife, tied the scalp of her dead Snake man
around her neck, and told her to dance the scalp dance in the fire.
She cried and hung back, calling out for pity.
The people only laughed and pushed her into the fire.
She would run through it, and then those on the other side would push her back.
So they kept her running through the fire, until she fell down and died.
The old Snake woman had come out of the brush with her relations.
Because she had been so good, the Piegans gave her, and those with her, onehalf of all the horses and valuable things they had taken.
"Aj//" said the Piegan chief.
" That is all for you, because you helped this poor man. Tomorrow morning we start back North.
If your heart is that way, go too and live with us." So these Snakes joined the Piegans and lived with them until they died, and their children married with the Piegans, and at last they were no longer Snake people.
1 When the Hudson's Bay Company first established a fort at Edmonton,
a daughter of one of these Snakes married a white employee of the company,
named, in Blackfoot, 0-wai, Egg.
submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:33 No-Juggernaut-3616 I was just saying a few episodes back that’s in order for the show to progress they are going to have to find out how to kill the monsters. That’s why the old man was tied up it’s because he had the ability to kill the monsters. The season is almost over it’s very bitter sweet.

submitted by No-Juggernaut-3616 to FromTVShow [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:32 Gloryinwar Transitioning from a Mafia to a true, somewhat legitimate Government after the Nation that ruled over their planet abandoned the region.

As the title says I want to world-build how a Mafia was able to take over multiple planets and transform itself into an actual government, admittedly with some modifications to their previous system of rule.
This is for a science fantasy setting of mine.
You see, the Mafia has been the de facto ruler of this part of the nation for a long, long time, having defacto control over everything from the Infrastructure, all the way to having sway over police and the local provincial government.
Such is their sway over the region that even local governors of the old government have connections in the Mafia, which they used as a means of having indirect control over the province and allowing the mafia to have more comprehensive operations. Even having the police under their payroll.
At this point in history, they have more indirect control over the state of things.
Indirect in the sense that while the mafia has sway, they don't directly rule themselves, rather taking advantage of their political connections and corruption in order to get their way and gain power from behind the scenes.
This state of affairs continued until the old government simply abandoned the 10 planets due to them going into civil war, which would last many, many years and forcing them to abandon the province. The civil war lasted a grand 28 years due to other powers getting involved to support the opposition.
In the power vacuum that came, the Mafia essentially took over, simply hijacking the system of administration for themselves as well as seizing federal armories to equip their forces.
By the time the old Federal government came back, they fought a 2-year long war to regain control of the province, but due to the public being sick of war and the weakened state of the armed forces, they failed and suffered heavy casualties.
After this, the Mafia was able to sue for peace and be recognized as the true rulers of the region from here on out and making the transition from a mafia state in the shadows to a true interstellar government.
The Government was organized in a manner that was familiar to the former mafia.
At the top was the Overboss, who served as the head of state and government, all decisions regarding foreign and domestic policies, as well as overall command of the Military are centralized in the office of the Overboss, something adapted from the old mafia.
The Overboss is also the only one who has the power to declare war and call for mobilization.
Serving at the side of the Overboss is the Council, which acted as the state legislature, this is the body that handles the courts and the laws, though the final say on laws ultimately fell on the Overboss for approval and thus, implementation.
Succession is done primarily through the Overboss announcing his planned Successor, or if that is not possible, then the Council will hold a Vote for who becomes the Next Overboss.
Directly below the Overboss are 3 Underbosses, who each manage a specific part of the state.
These include:
  1. The Underboss of the Military. This office manages the Military, as well as managing the Department of National Defense and War, as well as being the head of the Military High command and overseeing the Internal and external affairs of the military... However, they also manage Military intelligence.
  2. The Underboss of the Interior. This office encompasses many departments such as the Treasury, and Department of Education, as well as almost all services needed to run the state. Even being responsible for the management of Taxes and trade tariffs and everything in between.
  3. The Underboss of the Judiciary. This is the Office that runs the state's National Police and enforces the law.
And lastly, the State military.
It should be noted that even during their Mafia days, the Mafia boys acted more like a Paramilitary force rather than a straight-up gang.
They have an existing rank structure already and this existing rank. However, since their transition to a real government, they experienced massive reform in order to make them into a real military, with the help of Friendly nations and retired Generals to come up with the reforms and Military doctrine.
Yeah just wanted to share this.
submitted by Gloryinwar to worldbuilding [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 06:32 FroztyPenguin Vaginoplasty: my process for choosing a program

As I’ve live-posted about my vaginoplasty recovery, a lot of people have asked me about what hospital I’m at and how I chose this program. Now that I’m at home, I wanted to answer those questions publicly.
First off, I want to let you all know that I’m not the kind of person who does a bunch of research into my medical care. I often see people on this, and other trans-related subreddits, having super complex discussions about injectable hormones versus oral hormones or advances in surgical techniques and what’s happening in other countries for their medical advances. My mom is a nurse and I have had great medical care throughout my life, and so I just generally trust my medical professionals. I also want to acknowledge that there’s a HUGE level of privilege that allows me to do that. I’m white, middle class, have good health insurance, live near a major regional medical center, and have a great support system.
I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s a bit like Austin, Texas, in that it’s a blue island in a red state. I could talk more about the general experience of transitioning here, but this post is focused on my surgical endeavors. It’s also home to the University of Utah Hospital, which is a teaching hospital with incredible amounts of funding and serves as a major regional medical center for the Mountain West (Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada). The UofU has offered vaginoplasties since 2018.
When I was considering the surgery, the UofU does online webinars where they talk about the different GC surgeries they offer. They have separate seminars for HRT, MTF bottom surgeries, FTM bottom surgeries, and maybe also top surgery webinars. I attended only the MTF bottom surgery webinar. They offer the webinars pretty regularly (maybe quarterly?). I didn’t personally think that the webinar was that helpful, because it mostly covered information that you could find out online, like the differences between procedures. The most helpful part in theory was hearing from previous patients who had gotten surgery there, but sometimes us queer folks can be a bit on the awkward and weird side and I felt like the particular person who spoke at my webinar was not helpful to hear from at all. She treated the webinar like it was a private appointment with her physician and was asking for dilation tips and the webinar manager kept having to be like “you should ask your physical therapist at your appointments” and it wasn’t easy to get any sense of what the recovery was like or what the aesthetics were or how sex was or anything.
Still, the convenience and in-network for my insurance made UofU a great option. I did have some reservations about the newness of the program and I had more questions and if I’m being totally honest here a lot of them were about aesthetics. I’m vain enough to want a pretty vagina.
The first step was a consult. I met with a PA for several hours and she answered all of my questions and gave much more in depth information about everything. It was exactly what I hoped that the webinar would be, but better because it was private.
After my consult, it became apparent that I’d have to delay the surgery. A good friend was getting married in Hawaii, since his now-wife is Hawaiian and all of her family is there. I couldn’t get the time off from work for that trip, plus surgery. I decided to delay my surgery a year so that I could be there for him.
During that year, two acquaintances had a vaginoplasty at the UofU, so I was able to get the inside scoop from them. They both reported very positively about the care they received, the appearance afterward, and their sexual experiences. One of them offered to let me see her real-live vagina, which I felt awkward about following up on so I said no, but I think I would have liked to see it and shouldn’t have let that hold me back from her generous offer.
After my year delay, I did the consult again with a different PA and once again got my questions answered and this time, the program had implementeda new part of the consult where they showed pictures of previous patients. They showed after photos from around the 3 month mark and a couple of photos from right immediately after. I thought that was the best part of the entire consult, and definitely the most reassuring. The vaginas all looked super natural, and I was fully confident in my decision to go forward at the UofU.
Meeting with the surgeons in advance wasn’t part of the consult process. I asked if I would meet them and they said surgeons aren’t usually met until day of, but that if it was important to me to meet them they could get that set up. It wasn’t important to me, so I didn’t bother. My questions had all already been answered.
Then the next two months were getting approval from my insurance. The biggest hurdle I had was getting all my letters lined up because I actually don’t regularly see a mental health provider. My mental health has been very good due to a career switch to a job I love and transitioning, so my mental health providers were a couple years old so it took some reaching out but they were happy to do my letters without seeing me for a new appointment. I did have to kind of call and email quite a few times on all providers to get those letters submitted. I just turned the letters over to the UofU and they handled my insurance approval.
I got the approval in January, and I signed up for the first available date with the surgeons that I wanted, which was the end of May. There are two teams of surgeons who do vaginoplasties at the UofU, and my friends both had Dr. Agarwal do theirs and she’s the head of the whole program, so I wanted her to do mine.
Between January and May, I just had two appointments. One was with PT to do some pelvic floor exercises to strengthen the area in advance and the other was another follow up with the PA where we reviewed surgery prep and I got a whole packet of info- what medications to discontinue and what I could eat the day before surgery etc.
Then I just showed up on the morning of surgery and you all know the rest.
I do want to note that while I publicly posted that I have BCBS insurance, starting in July of this year the UofU may be out of network for BCBS. Gap coverage may still exist.
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2023.05.29 06:31 darkboomel Is it possible for a pre-primed mini to lose its priming?

So, I found an old Aasimar Paladin mini in my car, pre-primed and ready to go. Only problem with it was that one of the wings was broken off, but I could come up with a pretty badass story for that.
My problem with it, though, is that paint is refusing to really stick to it. I'm 3 coats of paint in and it's barely even colored at all. So I'm wondering, this thing's been sitting in my car for at least 2 and a half years now, probably longer. Is it possible that it's lost its prime in that time? Or is it normal for paint to take multiple layers to start showing any little bit at all? It's my first time using some information I've gotten from how-to videos, including to thin paints with water to make them not fill in all of the little gaps and get rid of all the detail, so I don't know what my issue is. Possibly I'm just adding too much water and the paint isn't sticking because of that, possible that the priming wore off from sitting in my car so long, I don't really know. In case it matters, I'm using army painter paints and the mini is just one of those basic DND pre-primed minis, I think WizKids brand?
Anyways, to clarify the question a bit better: is it possible that the priming wore off after so long in my car or is it more likely that I'm doing something wrong with thinning the paint? And if the priming did wear down, is there anything that I can do about it at this point, after adding paint, or do I just have to get a new mini?
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2023.05.29 06:31 itsallalittleblurry Ends Justify The Means, Old Man

I had a short conversation with Pennywise about 15, 20 minutes ago. The subject was the just-ended school year. And she informed me:
“I got another perfect score on my last spelling test.”
“Good for you, Pen!”
“Thanks! Perfect score on all the others, too, the last part of the year. I kind of overdid it, though.”
“I should’ve missed one here and there.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The teacher’d been getting suspicious.”
“Of what? You studying hard?”
“Not exactly. No one gets perfect scores every time, Grampa.”
“Don’t tell me you were cheating.”
“Of course I was” she said in some surprise. As if I should have known. And I guess by now I should have.
“She checked my desk. But I had it real messy. I knew she wasn’t gonna dig through all those papers.”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t leave the sheet with the words on it on top?”
“Of course not. That wouldn’t make sense. It was in the middle.”
“But you knew exactly where.”
“Well, duh.”
“I knew she’d check again, so the next time I had the answers written on the palm of my had. Real small. You don’t want to do it the same way twice in a row - easier to get caught that way.”
“Copy that.”
“What I’d do was, I’d kind of bow my head and put my fingertips up to my forehead like this.” And she demonstrated. “Make it look like I was trying to concentrate and remember the correct spelling. Then I’d write it down.”
“She check again?”
“Yeah, but my desk was still a mess. Didn’t matter anyway, though. Nothing there to find. They were all written on my hand.”
“I see. And she never caught on?”
“She suspected, but she couldn’t Prove anything.”
“Another time I - “
“That’s ok. I think I’ve heard enough. You think this is all ok?”
“I got good scores, didn’t I?” She seemed genuinely not to understand the question.
“By cheating, you little brat.”
“Oh, come On, Grampa! Everybody cheats! That’s life!” Word for word, I swear it. Every time I think she can’t surprise me anymore.
“How old are you really?”
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