A new psychiatrist asked me all the questions a new psychiatrist will ask you. And then:
“Any history of sexual abuse?”
My response, “I can’t answer that.”
Why can’t I answer this yes/no question? The issue is I do not have a concrete memory where everything is clear. What I do have is a memory without a face, and a million arrows pointing towards something.
Out of arrows I mean small bits that look as though they point to CSA, but in and of themselves might just be harmless and common.
A couple of these are: - Vaginismus - When I was a kid, my dad took my sibs and I to a “church” ran by his friend which took place in his friend’s living room. As a kid, I was disgusted by my mind’s compulsions to imagine myself crawling onto his friend’s (≈40m) lap and kissing him. I also begged my father to stop taking us every weekend. - I know this is a scary and gross thing, and I feel great shame for it—when I was ≈7, I exhibited intimate knowledge of oral sex, even going as far as trying to get my family’s cat to enact oral sex upon me. I opened up about this to my sister and she revealed she had done the same around that time too. - When my dad’s friend from earlier helped paint my parents’ interior rooms (still around the same age as when we attended his church), I remember the strange way I felt around him, especially when I was alone with him.
As for the memory without a face—it’s a memory that’s always been with me. I know I’m young in the memory, somewhere in the ballpark of 8. I know I’m lying on my back, my legs are up in the air and apart. And I remember the distinct pain of penetration. All my life, in the memory, I remember the pain. For some reason, I’ve always thought the context of this pain was medical. I don’t have memory of going to a doctors appointment or being in a hospital but for some reason my brain reasons the experience to be a medical one. I’ve always thought, when recalling the memory, “this pain was being made by a doctor.” But I can’t see his face. It’s like there might as well be a sheet between my face and person creating the penetrative pain. But I know the “doctor” is a man. He made some comment about pain, I can’t remember it verbatim, something along the lines of “it won’t hurt long.” I once asked my mom if I ever got any sort of procedure or had any doctor’s visits regarding “down there,” and she laughed and said no.
The unwavering, concrete part of this memory is the pain—I wouldn’t recognize it and experience it again until I lost my virginity. But the weakest part of the memory is his face—I can’t see his face. And so I think, “you have a memory of being penetrated as a kid, but you don’t know what was happening or remember the face of the person causing it? so what?”
It’s no small thing to say you were raped as a kid—how can I dare say I was if I can’t remember anything other than the pain?
Alas, all of it might mean nothing.

I (36m) have been in a committed heteo relationship for many years. Our sex life is good, but lacking, and I don't see it changing enough despite having conversations.
I will qualify that I am not attracted to men; but the thought of being with a man physically is very hot.
At this point, I would not share this desire with anyone I know; gay friends or others. And yes, I am aware that cheating is a total scumbag move. Acknowledged; help is still appreciated.
My partner is more passive; I tend to be the assertive one... Trying to state what I want seems to fall on deaf ears, despite her saying she is open to it all. Assume this is the expected norm for life.
Increasingly, I'll favour gay porn and have chatted on Grindr and Sniffies but have never pulled the trigger.
Fast forward, I am now out of town for work, put up in a hotel, and toying with what taking the next step would look like....
It's been forever since I dated. Never had a real hookup, and definitely not with a person I met online.
Other than being clean myself, and stating expectations in my profile, how does this work & what should I expect? Do most expect sex, or just oral, or just jerking off?
I wouldn't want to bring anything home, so I'd play safe. Is that the norm?....porn skewers everything. Is it weird to give a BJ with a condom on? (I wouldn't like it - but is that what people do who are 'safe') Do you meet at a bar for a drink first?
Thanks!

Transphobes are the cliché abusive stepdad.
You know the stereotype. The drunkard that got with the mom but didn't want the kid, so he treats him like shit, pulls out the belt and beat him up at the shittiest excuse he can find, saying it's to "teach him respect", "make him a real man" and other shit like that. The violent sack of shit who thinks breaking a kid's arm every other month is gonna make him see that his stepdad is right and that he'll be thankful to have been abused into seeing the light.
That's transphobes. Insulting us, abusing us, accusing us of being the reason they have to treat us like that and pretend they are reasonable and only doing this because we force their hands, so we can see they are right.
I don't know why it took me so long to see it. Probably because I never had a stepdad or stepmom, less so abusive.

I have a 4 and half month boy. He was born at 36 weeks. Lately he has been just starving all day. He wont take my nipples so i been pumping and feeding him a bottle. He was eating like half of his bottle then a hr later finish it. Or spread it out to 3 feedings every 4 hrs. Eating 8 ozs to 12 ozs. I did change his nipple to a lvl 2 and he has been eating more at a time. Usually like 7 ozs is his limit. But then still like 2 to 3 hrs later still hungry.He has been sleeping through the night at least. Thankfully i can pump out 8 ounces at a time for him. When we had his 4 month doc appt the dr said we can start baby food. So today we got some baby rice and i spoon fed him some. I did more then i should of but it didnt matter and fill him up. He was crying for a bottle after 2 hrs. I know you are supposed to feed him baby food once a day to start. But i might have to do it twice. Im just trying to get a break and keep my little man happy and full. He isnt overweight either. He is only 13 pounds. I DONT KNOW WHERE ITS ALL GOING! LOL.

Starfield can't come soon enough :)

Long story short my partner and I have been together for six years and overall have had an amazing extremely loving relationship. We’ve always lived together and have tons of mutual friends. Our families love us both. I love this man to the moon and back and always have. I made a massive mistake a week ago and left him/the place we lived. The whole time I said I didn’t want to but I felt I had to and didn’t know why and it was extremely overwhelming. I made the wrong decision. Very quickly after leaving I was able to process some huge realizations and emotions and saw why I did what I did (though it was still wrong). I told him what I’ve learned but of course he hasn’t enough enough time to process. Our mutual friend (who is his friend first and foremost) has been supporting me but mentioned he felt this may take months for my partner to process and be ready to talk with me/decide if he wants to continue the relationship. That sent me into an absolute spiral. I have an amazing support network and an amazing therapist but I feel like this is going to kill me. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life and it’s my fault.

I am a 25 year old black female introvert. I am 180lbs, full of life (you do have to do a bit of digging to see that part of me), conservative style of dressing and quite assertive about everything within my reach.
I love to have fun in one large, single dose. I am currently two years due for another dose. I go to school in Chicago and live a very hectic life.
Like many people online, I understand that sometimes it can be too bothersome to take things to real life. I will think positively and say most people do have the intention of in person meetings, but never develop the courage to meet in person. Others are just here to chat and ease boredom. Do not message me if you belong to either of the above categories. I am not your therapist!!!
Preference: educated (at least a bachelors degree), taller than 5’4, calm minded gentle man, excellent manners, with a benevolent mind. I am looking for someone to indulge, spoil, love and care for me.
In summary, I am a lady looking to have fun and get romanced in a beautiful way.

Dear members of /StephenKingBookClub,
We hope this message finds you well. We are writing to inform you about some recent developments regarding the upcoming changes to the Reddit API and the subsequent impact on our beloved subreddit. As you may have heard, Reddit has announced a series of API changes that have sparked concerns among moderators and users alike.
These changes and the resulting forced shutdown of third-party apps due to exorbitant API costs have frustrated many of us here on Reddit. In light of these circumstances, we have made the decision to join the protest and set our subreddit to go dark on June 12th-13th. We believe this collective action will draw attention to the concerns we share with numerous other subreddits and provide an opportunity to voice our frustrations toward Reddit.
The changes to the API and the shutdown of third-party apps have a profound impact on our ability to foster discussion, share recommendations, moderate this subreddit, and celebrate the works of Stephen King together. We understand the inconvenience this may cause for our dedicated members, and for that, we apologize. However, we firmly believe that this protest is necessary to stand up for the principles that underpin the Reddit community.
We hope that this blackout will send a strong message to Reddit leadership, urging them to reconsider these changes and work towards a more collaborative, fair, and inclusive approach. We encourage you to join us in this collective action by participating in discussions on alternative platforms, engaging with other Stephen King communities, avoiding Reddit entirely, and spreading awareness about the issues we are facing.
Following the two-day blackout, we will reassess the situation and evaluate the guidance provided by larger subreddits and the greater Reddit community. We will make an informed decision on how to proceed, keeping the best interests of our community at heart. Thank you for your understanding. We will keep you informed about any updates regarding the situation and the status of the subreddit.
Sincerely,
The Mod Team of /StephenKingBookClub

I just wanted to come on and say I think I’m finally at peace with everything my ex put me through.
Im still healing but I feel at peace, I’m never going to have him in my life i don’t want to.
But I want to leave all the trauma behind, being with my new partner and how he treats me has made me feel so at peace with the past. I feel safe and I know I never will have to go through that again.
Iv come to accept that I will flinch at certain things or I’ll be triggered by some things, but I feel myself getting stronger every day. The love and support from the people around me has helped, also my partner showing me what a real man is who treats women right.
Getting help with my mental health and getting support, understanding it all. I know its never going to go away, but putting the work in and being with positive people who love and support me helps.
I hope one day you find that peace because it really is bliss 😁 and inbox is always open for anyone that needs support❤️

(In case you didn’t see my edits to the first post, I decided to split these by type so they’re more digestable. Also, though I happened to do 1 first, I won’t necessarily do them ‘in order’.)

justification

Naranjo explained this explicitly but folded it under part of reaction formation, however I think it’s distinct enough to be discussed on its own – BHE also discussed this in a podcast episode without assigning it a name.
What happens is, the 1 has strong ideas and preferences about how things ‘should’ be and how they want their life to go in a regular, orderly manner – starting from the part of the reptile brain that is to do with regularity & sense of order, and then building on it further with their search for “the best way to do things” and the experience-based judgements of their implicit mind.
Much of the goal behind this is autonomy – Like the child that gets trusted with more decisions because they are so mature & responsible & don’t give others reason to scold them.
But what if someone comes along & tells you to do things differently anyway?
You argue that your way is right, whether that means its more efficient, more rational, more moral, more responsible etc. and so by extension theirs is wrong.
In this, the rational mind may well be employed to great effect (many 1s are doctors, engineers, philosophers etc.) but sort of in the way that philosophy was employed in the middle ages: Any paths of reasoning that could contradict “what is right” (in the case of the medieval philosophers, church doctrine) weren’t going to be pursued.
So if you have an 1 who prefers to get up early, they might espouse beliefs in the advantages of getting up early & how this is the most disciplined & virtuous way to do this, whereas if another 1 is a night owl they will embark on a mission to make workplaces more friedly to people with different circadian rythms, and neither might connect it to their own preference -
Instead they will completely frame it in impersonal terms of competency and/or superego – this way is most efficient, this way is correct, this way is what’s right. Or: That thing is objectively wrong & disgusting and anyone who doesn’t see that is a sick fuck. You’re not nitpicking, you care that it’s done right.
When others get the impression that you’re just trying to boss them & force your way on them, you don’t see where it’s coming from – it’s not about your way, you think, it’s about “what’s right”… so you figure it must be because they’re debauched or something.
Useful Question:
If you strongly feel that something is right: Is it truly the best method, or is it maybe just the way that you personally prefer it?
Note also that realizing you simply prefer it doesn’t mean you have to give up or self-flagellate for being selfish or failing to be impartial.
In some situations you might have an easier time getting your partner to agree to consider your needs & preferences if you say it personally bothers you rather than argue about the objectively correct way to load a dishwasher.
It’s ok to have wants, preferences & be subjective in some areas. Obvsly if you’re doing surgery you should totally follow the protocol as perfectly as possible, but ‘correct’ clothes or hairstyle is much harder to define.
You can prefer something even if it’s not “Objectively The Best”. It just ‘feels’ less ‘defensible’ because as a competency type you have a neutrality bias. And of course once you allow that it becomes natural to let others have different preferences.
Meanwhile, if you strongly feel something is wrong: Why is it wrong? Get that head center online. Now if you’re not used to it, this can be uncomfortable: 1s have a high need for closure and hence dislike ambiguity – they tend to want a clear answer, now. When you’re used to relying on the implicit mind whose output feels very solid, real and obvious, going into the abstractions of the mental center can feel airy & ungrounded – you might be worried that you might come up with an excuse or talk yourself into thinking some terrible thing is actually ok. But your implicit mind can mislead you as much as abstract theory might.
You might find that forbidding a lot of what’s universally agreed to be awful can easily be justified in terms of logical reasons. Look at the 6s – you can use your head center and still be morals-oriented. Be more willing to consider logical counterarguments even for things that trigger repulsion in you – just considering them without per se accepting them. Even if you still disagree, knowing how the other side thinks can help you persuade them.

reaction formation

But what if there is a desire that cannot be justified in this way, perhaps because it clashes with the 1s stated values, principles and beliefs? You can’t easily give up on the principles if those feel integral to who you are, why you do everything you do & why you should get anything at all.
So, the incongruent impulse is transformed into its opposite.
To consider why it has to be like this, it might be illustrative to tell you about a discussion I read on here once of various 8s (whose default tendency is to act on most impulses in an unmodified form) on how to overcome problems with impulsivity. Just trying to hold in the impulse through sheer will often doesn’t work because the next thing will just set them off, there is a quick connection between stimulus & response, thinking their way out of it like a head type might won’t cut it, but what does work a lot better is to point the ‘kinetic energy’ somewhere else, such as by exercising.
The gut types take in the world on a viscerally felt, kinesthetic level (Rohr, a 1 himself, referred to it as ‘full body blows’) & this leads to building up immediate reactions to it. So ‘redirecting’ the impulse, or rather forming an immediate counter-reaction to it, is more natural than just extinguishing it.
The purpose of the reaction is not only to “defend” against acting the ‘unacceptable’ impulse, but to “defend” your conscious self from the distress and incongrence of even recognizing the impulse, that is, to push it out of consciousness. Like saying some prayers to make the “dirty thoughts” go away.
If you read the experiences of 1s (or even 1 fixers) you see that the impulses already arrive in consciousness in this ‘civilized’ form: Not ‘this annoys me’ but ‘this is not good enough!’
The physically felt swell of what might otherwise be irritation comes in as frustration about how the thing was done wrong & how it could all be perfect if only the co-workers bothered to be a little more dilligent.
This is part of why experiencing an actual unmodified impulse can feel so threatening or shameful.
First they would be experienced as unwanted, ego-dystonic, incongruent with the self.
A rabit horndog is not who you are… and certainly not who you want to be.
There is not so much previous experience of thinking ‘I kinda want to do violence to this jerk’, or of having a horny thought… and then not acting on it for a variety of reasons.
So you might fear that if you loosened up you would actually be violent or sexually inappropriate. (which isn’t helped if the only time you cut loose if when you got so much pent up frustration you can’t hold it in anymore, so you overcompensate like a person going on a binge after an overly restrictive diet.)
What this may concretely look like is being extra polite to someone who lowkey irritates you (disowning the “bad”/”unresonable” feeling), or condemning something that you actually find tempting on some level –
Tom Condon described the case of a type 1 friend who liked to collect rocks. One time they came across a cool-looking amethyst geode in a shop window and the friend’s eyes lit up, but then he saw the hefty price tag and at once he started ranting about how ppl these days waste so much money on frivollous impulse buys. (his desire for the rock had conflicted with his value of being thrifty, so a reaction against it was formed.)
Condon then said something like ‘You really want that rock, huh?’
In this case the friend had the self-awareness to admit it, but with some immature 1s (or ppl with strong 1 components), they can get weirdly obsessed with the thing they’re condemning & the lives of people who are doing it. ‘Oh this fetish porn is so horrible!’ ...why do you know so much about it, mate?
(part of it is also that by confronting the “bad” and rejecting it, the sensation of your boundaries holding firm against the outside, you feel your existence, so when you are having self-doubt…
It’s the frustration thing of using “not that!” as orientation.)
This is how you get ppl complaining about people taking breaks, gender non-conformity, childfree couples, divorce, more empathetic rather than strict parenting etc. because how dare those ppl not give up the desires you renouced?
Ppl complaining about divorce have the unhappiest marriages, ppl complaining about the “selfishness” of the childfree are some of the most emotionally distant parents and so on.
Maybe you remember that horrible “marriage requires a mute button” article a while back whre that woman tried to sell you on the idea that every responsible adult must accept that marriage is constantly being irritated at your spouse. (with zero self-awareness of how she described constantly nitpicking, criticizing & failing to show empathy for the husband, & refusing to communicate her wants/needs)
When ppl responded to it saying they actually like their spouses or pointing out that divorce is a thing, she accused them of being naive because A Mature Person(TM) is supposed to make it work and accept that marriage isn’t a cakewalk, damnit.
Reading it you might wonder “why is she torturing herself?” but probably the value of “making a marriage work through realism” is very important to her.
Useful Question: Could it be that this thing bothers you because you kinda want it but think you’re not allowed to have it?
Now for the love of sanity, don’t go torturing yourself by thinking you must secretly want everything that grosses you out. This question is mostly useful to ask when you find yourself disproportionally fixating on something. Being outraged about child labor is probably just because child labor is outrageous, but if it’s a minor lifetime choice thing that won’t kill anyone, it might be worth considering.

suppression

The next ‘layer’ of defense, if incongruous desire or anger does leak out in its ‘raw’ form, is to tamp it down asap & deliberately suppress it.
You try not to be angry or desireous.
As gut types experience feelings mostly through body sensations so suppressing them also means counteracting the bodily impulse that comes with them – this is sometimes described as feeling like the rising heat of anger gets stopped at your neck & jaw, like a cork on a champagne bottle, or the relaxing sensation of pleasure is stopped by tightening & straightening the spine & pelvis.
So there can be actual physical tension held in those areas.
This also feeds into the self-judgement, because a suppressed reaction still happened and you still feel it, even if you put a stop to it.
In that sense 1s might be uniquely cursed among the competency types. You’d physically feel the anger or desire & the need to stop it. So someone might beat themselves up for even thinking of getting angry.
Another thing to note is that while this might seem at first like a relatively voluntary/ semi-conscious action, but when some 1s try to deliberately express their feelings more, they sometimes find the habit to clamp it down has become quite automatic.
- an extreme case of this might be ppl raised in very conservative towns who were told to suppress all sexual desire until marriage, but then when they’re finally married they’re too tense to have enjoyable relations.
Unhealthy 1s can get quite dour & joyless cause pleasure is suspect & suppressed.
- though healthier 1s will be able to relax & express feelings when appropiate, but still be able to restrain themselves where this is useful, like if you’re a surgeon or an emergency responder & need to keep your cool & keep doing the task. In that setting “defending” against getting irritated or otherwise emotional is arguably a good thing, at least for the duration of the important work, it allows 1s to be level-headed professionals.
Useful Question: Being patient, disciplined & restrained is often very useful, but are you counterbalancing this with some outlets? (dance, time in nature, and regular vacations seem to be some popular ones with well-adjusted type 1s)

Reparation & undoing

This is sort of a cousin of reaction formation in that it also involves “making up” for a “bad” thought/deep by doing something “good”, but the difference is that in this case, the horses have already left the barn, rather than preventing an incongruent thought or action these are about coping with the aftermath after it has already occurred.
The above constellation (particularly on the less aware/mature side) can easily produce a lot of guilt that then needs to be ‘defended’ against lest it set off the fear of condemnation.
Undoing is to take an opposite action immediately afterwards, which in the person’s mind makes it so the “bad” thought or deed never happened.
For example you thought about blowing up at someone and then acted extra nice to them because you felt bad about it, or you actually did blow up at your spouse but then buy them some flowers to “make it okay”.
In the case of reparation, the bad deed is not quite considered ‘erased’, it still ‘counts’ and there are still feelings of guilt and accountablity, but you made up for it. You’re a changed man.
This is like those people telling you about the wicked life they used to live before they came to jesus, but now they are completely different.
Sometimes making amends or focussing on doing a better job next time is, of course, a constructive way to deal with mistakes. (and 1s for their part also forgive more easily if they see someone’s willing to make amends, have consequences, show they learned something etc.)
There are two ways this can become problematic in less aware individuals, however.
First, when it becomes a compulsion to constantly make up for perceived ‘guilt’.
Cracked and ate a chocolate muffin? Now you must do 20 extra minutes of exercise!
There was an interesting anecdote on a podcast about an 1 woman who got involved with a more ‘wild’ guy, and then immediately chopped off her hair to something more austere looking, like she’d strayed too much to the wild side & needed to correct it.
The guy took it as mixed signals.
The Second is when the person considers their deed ‘made up for’, but others don’t. The wife doesn’t forgive you despite the flowers, because you can’t really erase what happened or the concerns she has with you.
Or the preacher guy who ‘came to Jesus’ expects to be forgiven by everyone now because he “repented and made amends”, “overcome his struggle with temptation” & that was “his old life”.
Another way this may look is someone considering that their spouse & kids shouldn’t bring up past grievances anymore because they apologized and promised to change.
others might well find it hypocritical when someone who has clearly messed up at some point in his life starts talking to you about the Best Way To Do Things and how you should be following their sage advice. They won’t just act as if the past actions never happened.
There is, of course, a strong incentive to believe in an espouse the redemption narative when it feels like the only other alternative is that you are an Irredeemable Bad Person(TM) forever. Trying harder to strive for the perfect world that ought to have been is one’s saving grace – if that doesn’t count, then what does?
So as understandable it is that others might call bull/hypocrisy, there is also a lot of pain behind this which, alas, often only causes the counterproductive patterns to become more rigid.
Someone’s response being “try harder!” (for all that it can be the 1s greatest strength in other contexts) can also make it harder to recognize situations where it would be better to walk away or stop trying to do the impossible.
Useful Question:
On the one hand: Will anything good come out of continuing to be harsh on yourself? Maybe you can forgive and/or accept yourself without feeling like you need to constantly work on “redemption” or “betterment” – especially if the cause of your feeling guilty is just being an imperfect fallible human.
On the other hand, especially if your actions impacted another: Does your idea of what would constitute restituition align with the wronged party?

Hello there and Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Fellow Redditors!
Before you continue, as a young man who knows what he wants, I would like to state what I am NOT seeking:

• Fakes/Flakes
  
• Pen-Pals: (Meeting up in real life should be the goal)
  
• Time-wasters: Introduction and pleasantries are fine and welcomed. I am just looking for the conversation to progress and for dates to be marked on the calendar! My schedule is FLEXIBLE due to my line of work, so I can adapt and evolve as needed!
  
• Lastly, PG pictures work just fine, and I have plenty to share. Yes, I am well-endowed, but there's more to me than that. With that being said, you wouldn't walk up to a man in real life and ask him his cock size at your first introduction...would you?
  

I'm not a man looking for loads of digital nudity. I would definitely much rather see you in real life and get a surprise!
*** Also, I'm on NoFap. The basic explanation means I don't masturbate and waste my seed into kleenexs, lol. (Going almost 200 days strong), so unbridled, primal virility are aplenty with me! Very Large Loads & Very Fertile!
***SHORTENED VERSION:
TLDR: Summary of me: I'm a young nerd/geek with an outgoing personality, shredded physique, and contagious smile/love of laugh laughter. I'm seeking a like-minded woman to befriend and have an ONGOING, and most importantly, RELIABLE mutual relationship (friendship) with. I'm also very open to something serious as well! Connection and open communication are a MUST!
I am also a HUGE Giver and love extended foreplay. I am straight & fully comfortable in my sexuality and open to a vast array of Kinks/Potential Fantasies inside and outside of the bedroom! PEGGING has definitely caught my interest as well!
I would want to continue impregnating the same woman multiple times, over and over in order to birth an empire with a strong family unit, core principles & morals, and creative leadership. I want to be an active participant in my children's lives and an amazing Father to all of them!
One, two, or even three children are NOT enough for me; we will enjoy this journey together and celebrate each and every time my prime genetic seed takes hold and root in your womb.
I bring intellectual prowess, awesome physical genes (see pics on my profile and latest posts), and a burning desire to procreate with the RIGHT woman who shares some common interests with me (See Below)!
***LONG VERSION:
Hello there,
I am a young, well-spoken, and outgoing individual sporting an amazing sense of humor & chiseled physique. I deeply enjoy good conversation filled with laughter and the warmth it brings and love to please as I am very eager to learn, try, and experience new things!
Things I enjoy OUTSIDE of the bedroom:

• Fitness (Both Resistance & Aerobic) Walking, Jogging, Hiking, etc.
  
• Video Games & Board Games
  
• Nerf Wars & Airsoft
  
• Nature Exploration & Outdoor Recreation (I would love to try out camping, kayaking, and canoeing!)
  
• Watching Movies and TV Shows
  
• Creative Thinking both PG and Rated R lol
  

Things I enjoy Inside of the Bedroom include everything vanilla plus A LOT (virtually open to exploring everything except extreme pain) more that I'd love to discuss face to face.
My Ideal Person:
I am searching for a cool, laid-back and relaxed woman to enjoy mutual fun INSIDE and preferably OUTSIDE of the bedroom as well. The type of person who can enjoy a mind-blowing session while also being able to laugh at various blunders or bloopers that happen during or after the fun, go for nature walks with a lustful twist, and/or seeing a movie on the couch or in theatre!
NO Pressure, NO Insecurity, just cool peeps having an amazing, hot time while creating passionate memories together and building Vast Empire & Undying Legacy.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. Shoot me a chat request, and I look forward to meeting you!

The Fey Imperium: 1,000,000 B.M.R. to Current Era, Era of Man
The Fey Imperium marks a significant era in the history of Tar, spanning from approximately 1,000,000 B.M.R. to the present Era of Man. During this time, two races emerged that bore resemblance to the Torch Bearers in terms of their life essence and power: the Elves and the Drow. These races, contrasting reflections of each other, played pivotal roles in shaping the events of the Fey Imperium.
The Elves embodied the wild and light, embracing the wonders of nature and the abundance of the land. Their connection to the Fey and their attunement to the natural world allowed them to live in harmony with the elements. The Elves established magnificent cities and cultural centers that showcased their mastery of architecture, artistry, and elemental magic. These cities were vibrant hubs of elven civilization, where knowledge, wisdom, and beauty were celebrated.
On the other hand, the Drow embodied darkness and order. Masters of stealth and shadow, the Drow utilized their knowledge of underground passages and their mastery of dark magic to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies. They constructed hidden cities within the depths of the underground, becoming strongholds of their race and bastions against their adversaries. From these subterranean empires, the Drow exerted their influence, engaging in trade, diplomacy, and occasional conflict with other races and factions.
Both the Elves and the Drow recognized the Tassik, the ancient reptilian race, as a threat to their existence and set out to eradicate them. Their approach was methodical and relentless, with the Drow hunting the Tassik in their underground caves, labyrinths, and temples, while the Elves targeted them in their fields, villages, and cities. The conflict between these races and the Tassik was fierce and enduring, lasting for centuries.
Eventually, the Drow were forced to retreat into the depths of the underground, seeking refuge in the intricate network of tunnels and caverns they had constructed over time. These hidden Drow cities became centers of Drow civilization and influence. Intricate networks of tunnels, chambers, and caverns were meticulously carved and adorned, reflecting their unique aesthetic and architectural style. From these subterranean empires, the Drow exerted their influence, engaging in trade, diplomacy, and occasionally conflict with other races and factions.
Unbeknownst to the Elves and the Drow, their actions inadvertently led to the freedom of a race once known as the Torch Bearers, who had dwindled in numbers and become known as humans. The humans, grateful for their liberation from the Tassik, began to build their own civilizations and forge their own destinies. They established their own empires, known as the Elf Imperium and the Human Nations, each with their own distinct cultures, traditions, and governing systems.
However, tensions began to rise between the humans and the Elves. The humans, with their limited lifespans and the memories of their past enslavement, felt a sense of pride and the desire for recognition and equality. They yearned to prove themselves and secure their place within the realms of power. Meanwhile, the Elves, consumed by their own pursuits and preoccupied with preserving their own culture and traditions, remained oblivious to the changing sentiment among the humans. The growing divide and resentment between the two races laid the groundwork for future conflicts and alliances in the Era of Man.
As the era progressed, a significant turning point occurred with the rise of human civilizations and their conflict with the Elves, marking the beginning of the Era of Man. Humans, driven by their newfound destructive magic and encouraged by the vulnerability of the Elves, began to encroach upon Elven territories, seeking to expand their own dominion. The Elves, initially dismissing the humans as a minor annoyance, soon realized the true threat posed by the rapidly reproducing human population.
The relentless expansion and increasing military might of the humans eventually led to the fall of the last true Elven Empire. Elven cities and domains were overrun, and the Elves were forced into retreat and scattered throughout the realms. With the Elves weakened and their civilizations in decline, the era came to be known as the Era of Man, signifying the ascendancy of human dominance in the realms.
The precise events and timeline of this transition from Elven dominance to human supremacy are clouded by the passage of time and the conflicting accounts passed down through history. Scholars and historians continue to delve into ancient records, texts, and archaeological discoveries, seeking to uncover the forgotten truths of the past and understand the complex interactions between the races during this pivotal era. The true origins of the human group that discovered the Tassik's secret and the extent of their impact on Elven decline remain elusive, leaving room for speculation and ongoing research in the pursuit of historical accuracy.
The Fey Imperium stands as a complex tapestry of interconnected races and their struggles for power, identity, and freedom. It serves as a testament to the ever-changing nature of Tar and the intricate dynamics between its inhabitants. From the grand cities of the Elves to the hidden realms of the Drow, and the rise of humanity in the Era of Man, the Fey Imperium represents a crucial chapter in the Chronicles of Tar, forever shaping the course of its history.

Good Morning/Good Afternoon/Good Evening (whatever applies to you) I am a 19 year old single Latino man living in California. I can speak Spanish to an extent so if you are Latina then hmu.
I am funny, somewhat interesting and talkative. I like having good conversations with different people from across the world. As for my hobbies, I enjoy to read, watch film, and chat with people.
I am not looking to get into a romantic relationship but friendship(with benefits). Someone whom I can talk to about random things and not feel awkward if things get flirty :)
So don’t hesitate to dm me and we can go from there :D